May 2009

(#1) I flew from Phoenix to Minneapolis in coach seat B row 18. If that wasn’t bad enough, seat A and C were occupied by a husband and wife who talked non-stop. To make matters worse neither could have the arm rest down and needed seatbelt expanders, because they each weighed 350 plus. The plane […]

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Most of you probably know that US Air charges $7 for meals. When they first started doing this last year, fatty behind me tried paying his $7 IN CHANGE! Fatty had almost enough quarters in his pocket to cover it. I couldn’t believe he was making the stewardess count all that change. They have such […]

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A Happy Ending

May 27, 2009

in Portly Stories

Actually my story has a happy ending! I was on a flight from Chicago to Phoenix. My ticket said row 23, seat A. I found my seat – an aisle one- and in the other two seats were two seriously overweight lards. They both smiled at me (I think they were looking forward to eating […]

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My girlfriend and I were recently on vacation in the Middle East. We had finally reached the end of our rigorous travel. Our first flight was from Aswan to Cairo at 11 pm, which was no big deal. We got our bags and had to push them in carts to the international terminal; mind you […]

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Huge & Rude

May 27, 2009

in Portly Stories

I was about to board a flight from Atlanta to San Francisco, when a obscenely FAT (is there something beyond morbidly obese?) woman rudely cuts in front of me, mumbling about her being “disabled.” As a polite Southern guy, I just let it go, figuring it would be easier for everyone if she got on […]

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I have flown many times. In several instances the flight has been full. One of my pet peeves is when two people are traveling together yet they take up three seats. They insist on the row and the window. Then they force you to sit between them. Isn’t it fun when during the entire flight […]

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I was on a flight from Denver to London, Heathrow, on my way to Antwerp for my grandfather’s funeral this past October. We had just taken off and I was pretty excited about the open seat next to me, thinking I’d have some extra space to stretch out. However, a young British fellow soon took […]

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Crash Jokes

May 26, 2009

in Passenger Stories

Many years ago I was flying home from a small state with a teeny airport and the plane my company booked me on was a 20 seat puddle jumper. When I boarded, the pilot and the passenger in the 1st seat were having a friendly conversation and laughing and I soon realized they were telling […]

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I was flying from the east coast to the west coast (I can’t give specifics because I had received the ticket from a relative who works for the airline) and was lucky enough to secure a first class seat. It was an older plane but the seats were pretty spacious and there was a large […]

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A few years ago I was on a Southwest flight from Albuquerque to Phoenix. Being frequent business travelers my co-worker and I usually sit in the rear of the plane with the hope of finding a little peace and quiet. It had been a long week and we had a few things to wrap up […]

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I made a mistake of taking a red eye flight. Everyone was rude. One lady’s kid had taken my reserved seat and she told me I would have to find somewhere to sit. I called over to the flight attendant and she made the kid move. I thought the lady was going to let me […]

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I was on a relatively short flight, sitting in coach behind a family with a father, mother, and a boy of perhaps seven. A few minutes into the flight, I feel a kick to the back of my seat. Kick. Kick. Kick. “All right,” I think to myself. “There’s no sense being unpleasant. Surely one […]

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