Double Double Man

May 26, 2009

in Passenger Stories

A few years ago I was on a Southwest flight from Albuquerque to Phoenix. Being frequent business travelers my co-worker and I usually sit in the rear of the plane with the hope of finding a little peace and quiet. It had been a long week and we had a few things to wrap up on the way home.

As soon as we boarded we made our way to the rear of the plane and found seats on opposite sides of the aisle. As the plane began to fill up a quirky young man in his 20’s decided to sit in the aisle seat in front of my co-worker. He was talkative and it was very apparent he had spent some time in the bar before boarding the plane.

As soon as the plane pushed back from the gate he proceeds to pull out a stack of free drink coupons and demanding the flight attendants fulfill his drink requests, or as he put it “Give me a double double.” At first it seemed comical but as the flight wore on it was obvious that he was intoxicated and he became annoying to everyone. After a few drinks the flight attendants cut him off. He kept demanding his “double double” to no avail. He offered coupons to people around him, including me, if they would get him a drink. Thankfully nobody took him up on his offer.

Finally the Captain advised us that we were on final approach and everyone buckled up for landing, everyone except for Double Double Man. Having become belligerent he was demanding that his free drink coupons be honored. With the flight attendants strapped in for landing they, of course, could do nothing except tell him we were landing soon and no more drinks were being served, not to mention he was cut off for being intoxicated. Well apparently these answers were not good enough for him and he got up from his seat and stepped into the aisle just as the plane touched down. In his inebriated state he lost his balance and hit the floor face first and skidded down the aisle face first. Having put up with him for the entire flight I couldn’t help laughing while the flight attendants picked him up off the floor and “assisted” him back into his seat. As I gathered my things and headed for the door I couldn’t help but notice that his entire face was covered with a nasty rug burn.

As I left the plane I wondered what would be the worst thing Double Double Man would remember from his trip. The pain he would be feeling once the alcohol wore off, the terrible hangover he would be experiencing the next day or the two Phoenix police officers standing outside the gate waiting, I assumed, for him.

Signed, Matt Robey

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Nacho May 8, 2009 at 4:39 am

Definitely one of the better stories here. Thank you for the laughs. XD


Karen May 8, 2009 at 9:26 am

I always wondered what would happen if you weren't in your seat during landing…haha now I know…love this story!


Julicans May 9, 2009 at 4:56 am

good one! Talk about just deserts!


Hugh May 13, 2009 at 1:43 am

Very nice. I love it when the Karma train comes around.


Owen May 27, 2009 at 12:36 pm

Very funny, why don't I ever see entertaining things like that?!?


Shamu August 30, 2011 at 5:24 am

Cracked up reading this ha ha ha double double down rug burn owww


one March 7, 2013 at 10:55 pm

sounds like one of my idiot country-mates (canadian) who spends too much time drink crap coffee from Tim Hortons (they call coffee w/2 sugar 2 creams a double double).

I'm not saying canadians are idiots, just the ones who frequent Tim Hortons and use idiotic terms like double double.


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