Passenger Stories

I Have To Pee!

November 25, 2011

in Passenger Stories

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to fly US Airways to DC. Nothing much happened on the outbound from Boston, apart from us getting stuck to the tractor and the slow mechanic, but that was a stupid little thing.

The inbound home was much, much worse. We boarded at National, rather uneventfully. I had had some water at the airport, and felt like I needed the bathroom, but it was too late in the jetway. After boarding, we proceeded to sit at the gate as a woman was reseated no less than six times in eight minutes. She “can’t leave bag” at her old seat. It turned out that she was two rows up, and I would have made some “Shut the hell up and sit your ass down” comment, but she was about 97 years old and disoriented. And I had to pee.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard US Airways Shuttle Flight 2044 to Boston Logan International Airport. The FAA has asked us to remind you to remain seated for the first 30 minutes of the flight, until we clear DC airspace. Thank you.” This was followed by a low budget recorded safety briefing. Thirty minutes of a 55 minute flight. I really, really had to pee.

After takeoff, the nine people in 1st class were served drinks, and we were ignored by the friendly FAs. By now, it had been about 30 minutes, and it hurt with every movement. I unbuckled my seatbelt, when “Ladies and gentlemen, from the flight deck. We are beginning our descent into Boston. We will be on the ground in 20 minutes. Please stay in your seats.” I muttered curses at the FAA, and tried not to think about waterfalls.

We arrived in Boston, and after quickly thanking the crew, I was going to bolt up the ramp to the men’s room. But, alas, I was blocked. A woman couldn’t figure out how she was to drive her suitcase, and I reset it 8 times in three minutes.

By the time I was in the bathroom, I felt like I was going to explode. You would think that there would be a line, or a weird dude, or something so inconvenient you would set a personal record for “F-bombs dropped in a minute,” but there wasn’t. The airline was fine, and I recommend it, but don’t drink anything before your flight. Save your time and $7 for a shot of beer on the plane.

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Scared by Stares

November 22, 2011

in Passenger Stories

I’m always travelling to the Middle East. This time I was flying back home from Lebanon to Australia. Now my sister, parents and I were booked to sit next to each other, but as you may know airlines always make mistakes and that’s fine, so I had to sit one row behind next to an Asian lady who was super nice and wonderful to sit next to through the whole way. I can’t really remember her name, but as we were having a lovely conversation she noticed that the man sitting on my left who wasn’t right next to me (there was an aisle in-between) was staring at me. I looked and thought, oh well, he’s probably looking to the other side.

I kind of felt paranoid; every time I’d look to my left I would find him staring. I felt completely uncomfortable! I wanted to tell my parents or a flight attendant, but then I thought to myself what if he’s not looking at me. So every now and then the lady and I would start a new conversation, and she’d still notice him staring! He looked like a terrorist (well that’s what the lady and I named him). I was only young and didn’t know anything, but I was sooo scared. So I just stopped looking at him the whole way through; the flight was 14 hours straight. Imagine how you’d feel… He was probably a very polite man, but I felt completely uncomfortable since he was waaaay older than me!

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Passenger Frets over Fake Poop Prank

September 23, 2011

in Passenger Stories

This happened a few years ago on a return flight from Las Vegas, but it is still as vivid in my mind as if it happened yesterday. I had boarded and was getting comfortable in my window seat, located pretty far in the rear. The two seats next to me were still open, but it was a full flight, so I knew I’d have company before long. Behind me, and dotted in other seats in near proximity, were a very lively group of people returning from a pharmaceutical sales convention. They all seemed to know each other, and were in fine spirits. One of the ladies behind me clearly had fun shopping in a joke shop, for she was entertaining her buddy with an assortment of gag props such as a whoopee cushion, hillbilly teeth and other fun things.

As usual, the aisles during boarding were congested with people slowly shuffling along to get to their seats. The pair behind me recognized another conventioneer approaching, and some giggling ensues. Then the lady with the gags stands up and, with a conspiratorial grin aimed at me, drops a fake baby diaper complete with fake brown stain onto the seat. I’ve got a good sense of humor, and I didn’t mind enjoying a laugh at her friend’s expense, so I smiled back, but the diaper had landed on the edge of the seat and it slid to the floor. I wasn’t going to pick it up, the jokester didn’t have time to squeeze out into the aisle to replace it, so it stayed there. “Here she comes, here she comes, giggle, giggle,” the prankster said sitting back down.

Well, here she didn’t come. It happened all so fast. The approaching friend sat down one row down and adjacent. Following her was a very large man, not of their group because I heard an “Oh, noooo” from behind me. He swung his bag into the overhead and slid into the row and sat down, a second later shuffling his feet and looking down to see what he was stepping on.

The woman behind did try to get his attention in the split second afterwards, but her attempt was drowned out by the ear-splitting scream from the man as he leaped up and minced around in the aisle as though he had trodden on – well yes – a pile of doo doo. “Sir, sir,” the woman was still trying to get his attention, but a flight attendant was already responding to the commotion and his wrath was turned fully towards her as the representative of the airline who would leave such a thing on the floor of its cabin.

I kept quiet. I had nothing to do with it, and I wasn’t getting drawn in. The prankster finally managed to explain to the FA, and apologize to the man. I was trying hard not to laugh, in fact I was going to – until I saw his face once all had been explained. He did not see it as funny at all and sat there glowering. A glower from the FA at the offender (who managed to retrieve the now trampled prop) was exchanged too. Ah, conventioneers.

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Nervous Flier Freaks Over FA’s Demonstration

September 14, 2011

in Passenger Stories

My husband and I had just finished a wonderful week-long vacation in Cuba. The very first time we flew there we experienced some pretty scary turbulence (at least in my opinion!), so I was a little nervous about taking the flight home. Sometimes I enjoy flying, and sometimes any little sound or bump can scare me.

While we were sitting on the plane waiting to take off, the flight attendants were going through the safety demonstration. It helps if I follow along since I can be a nervous flier, as it eases my mind a little bit knowing that I would be somewhat prepared in case of an emergency.

So the flight attendants finish the demonstration in English and move on to French. At this point we are in line to wait our turn to take-off, and I had stopped paying attention to the demonstration, enjoying the view outside. My husband was asleep at this point (lucky guy). Take-off was no problem; the sky was clear and the ocean was beautiful. Next thing I know, the attendants are racing out from their seats and are pulling out the life jackets. I’m a little concerned but figure it’s nothing to worry about. I was feeling calm about this flight. But then the pilot gets on the PA system and says, “At this point we are just going to remind you how to use your life jackets.”

Now I am terrified. I have visions of us crashing into the ocean, screaming passengers everywhere, the plane breaking into a million tiny pieces! The longer I look at the flight attendants, the more their faces begin to resemble professionals that know something is going horribly wrong! I turn to my husband and shake him violently until he wakes up. “I think something has gone wrong! They came running from the back of the plane and are showing us how to put on our life jackets again! I think we are going to crash!”

My husband looks at the attendants, looks at me, and says,”Calm down. They are just finishing the demonstration in French. Now let me go back to sleep!” Needless to say, I felt like an idiot!

- C.C.

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Family Distraught over Fight on Flight

July 12, 2011 Passenger Stories

After booking into the flight for my family and me (wife and two children, 8 years and 22 months old), we proceeded to the departure gate. After getting this far we noticed that 6 passengers on the same flight were very drunk and had problems walking and talking, but were allowed to board the flight to [...]

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Miss Psychotic

May 3, 2011 Passenger Stories

Well I could have guessed people of a less stable mind would have to travel too. Last September I finally witnessed this. It all happened on a nice late September day flying on an Emirates flight from Dubai to Düsseldorf, a 6 or 7 hour flight. Thank God it was on a day time flight. [...]

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Self-Important Commuter

March 17, 2011 Passenger Stories

This might not have been a flight from hell for the passengers, but it sure was for the service reps who had the misfortune of being on the service desk this inconvenient morning. I do a weekly cattle haul to Toronto out of Newark Airport and have been doing it for some time with a [...]

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Boozed-Up Passenger with Nasal Problems

March 12, 2011 Passenger Stories

To get from Munich to Bangkok – choosing the cheapest option – you have to make a stop. Ours was in Dubai. Anyone who stops in Dubai Airport and is one of the few people who are still smoking: It is hell! There are two Smoker Rooms – both packed with people every minute of [...]

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Passenger Singled Out for Peed Pants

March 2, 2011 Passenger Stories

I was on the way to Georgetown, Guyana. I left New York with a confirmed flight from Port of Spain, Trinidad on a flight originating in London which I would join for the short hop. I had an aisle seat next to a man who I eventually learned was named Panty or Pandy. He had [...]

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Fumed Over Family’s Inconsideration

February 8, 2011 Passenger Stories

Wednesday, February 2nd, AA flight 1499 from Dallas, Texas to San Jose, CA. I am 6′ tall, long legs. I always book my flights way in advance to be sure that I can reserve an aisle seat to avoid being cramped. As we are boarding there is a mother, father and small child several people [...]

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