Odds & Ends Stories

Last year I took Royal Jordanian from Bangkok to Amman and back with a group of my friends. Now, I’ve taken a lot of flights that had issues, but this may genuinely have been the worst one I’ve ever taken. I was on a connecting flight from Singapore and had a 6 hour layover. Not the greatest thing in the world since Suvarnabhumi Airport is kind of tacky, but tolerable. The real problem began in the air. Only two stewardesses spoke English, and even they barely spoke it. Our plane waited for two hours on the ground with no explanation whatsoever given. The stewardesses refused to let anyone go to the bathroom.

When we got in the air, everything went wrong. My seat and the seats of literally every person within 4 rows of mine were broken. The wouldn’t go back, and they had been stripped of padding so that they were just bare canvas stretched over a metal frame. For this 9 hour flight, one movie was shown, which was literally the worst reviewed movie of the year. Admittedly that didn’t matter much, since it was only shown in Arabic with Thai subtitles!

The food was literally inedible. We had a choice between fish and beef. I ordered the beef, but could not eat it. There was literally no meet; just bone and gristle in a watery brown sauce! The fish seemed edible, but my friend and several other people I was travelling with all got food poisoning and later spent the first day in Amman vomiting continuously into their hotel toilets. A few of my friends were vegetarians and had requested a vegetarian meal in advance. However, they were denied this meal because they were told they were out of it. Since those friend’s religion forbid them from eating meat, they went hungry. One of my friends later found out why: he found the stewardesses at the back of the plane, near the lavatory, eating the vegetarian meals!

After our “meals” were served, the stewardesses were very surly about taking the trays, and kept swearing to themselves and smacking the cart. Perhaps as a way of of transferring their “suffering” to us, they arbitrarily banned anyone from putting their trays down. No explanation was given, but defiance was met with angry shouting on their part. I also tried to ask for a drink, but the stewardess told me to shut up and said, “do I look like your maid?” However, all this pales in comparison to what happened when we got over South India.

There we hit a light thunderstorm and the fasten seatbelt signs went on. They stayed on for the next 7 hours, despite there being no turbulence after the first 30 minutes. The flight attendants were extremely strict about this and literally did not let anyone up for any reason whatsoever. This, in spite of the fact that they were freely walking around the plane throughout this ordeal. After 4 hours, many people needed to use the bathroom, but the flight attendants wouldn’t let anyone. They literally screamed at people who stood up to sit down, and swore at some. One German woman across the aisle from me was particularly desperate and tried to make a break for the toilet several times. On the third try, she got desperate enough to ignore their warnings and made a break for it. Big mistake. A stewardess leaped out of her seat and grabbed her around the shoulders and waist, then dragged her back to her seat. In front of the entire cabin, she then berated this poor woman, screaming at the top of her lungs and swearing at her over and over again, calling her a “stupid fisheye” and a whore. The woman was in tears from the humiliation and having to hold her pee, but the stewardess didn’t care. In fact, when she got back to her seat, I saw her pointing at the crying woman and cackling with another stewardess.

The bathrooms continued to be unavailable. The German woman eventually peed herself (a stain was visible on her pants), which made her cry again. Several of my friends had to use the airsick backs to relieve themselves, and I’m sure other people likewise either used the airsick bags or peed themselves. There was no other option; the stewardesses remained extremely forceful in countering any bathroom break attempts. One old German man was shoved very violently back into his seat when he tried to get up. An Indian woman was thrown into her seat so violently that she actually cried out in pain. By this point a lot of children were crying. The stewardesses dealt with this by screaming at them, which only made them cry more, before berating the parents for having “filthy brats.” All the while the stewardesses kept freely walking around, as if to mock the seatbelt sign, and laughing at us when they talked to each other.

About 45 minutes before the flight was due to land, they finally allowed people to use the bathroom. There was literally a stampede as desperate people shoved each other to get there first. However, some immediately ran away from the toilet I got to. I soon found out why; the sink was filled with puke. It smelled like it had been there a while, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it had been from the previous flight. I also ran out of the bathroom and went to the other one on the side of the plane. This had crusted poop smeared on the walls. Still, that was slightly more tolerable than the puke sink, so I quickly did my business and then ran off. Some of the people were so disgusted by this that I saw them racing back to puke into the airsick bags after they used the toilets. All the while the stewardesses were open laughing at us.

The return flight was admittedly better, but check in at Amman was a nightmare. A huge line formed at the counter, and it took 2 hours to process us. When I got to the counter, the agent did not understand that I was taking a connecting flight on a different airline to Singapore, my final destination. He got increasingly angry and accused me of being “a lying Jew,” and called me an infidel several times. He threatened to have me arrested for lying to a government employee, and warned me not to try pulling any “Jew tricks” on him. I was very worried about this prospect, since the police in Jordan are known for torturing people. Eventually, I got lucky and found another ticket agent who was surly, but at least understood that my bag was to be checked through to Singapore.

Moral of the story: Never, ever fly Royal Jordanian. They’re the worst airline I’ve ever taken. If I ever need to go to Jordan, I will literally walk and swim there before I book with them. I advise anyone else to do the same unless they like being in their seat, being assaulted by stewardesses, dangerous food, antisemitism, and threats of torture.

Tagged as: airport, children & babies, delay & cancellation, filth, flight attendant, food & beverage, lavatory, pee, poop, royal jordanian, seats, ticket agent, violence, vomit

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