Flight Full Of Flatulence

September 22, 2010

in Odor Stories

I was flying from Germany to Kenia with British Airways. The first annoyance was the arrangement of the seats: I had to sit straight up all the time because the seat rows were so tight that my knees bumped against the seat in front of mine, and I am a quite small woman. I don’t know how a basketball player could fit into that plane.

Then, after serving meals to maybe 70 people, the chicken plate was out and only vegetable ones remained. Hungry like a wolf, I opened the cover and saw a pile of half raw kidney beans covered with some crumbles of cheese. As I was not experienced enough to take sandwiches with me on flights, I ate it. Twenty minutes later I had to pay the price: it felt like a tornado was travelling down my intestine. As I could not avoid the smell which squirmed out of me, I tried at least to suppress the accompanying noises. Never have I had such bad flatulence. I tell you, it hurt! I had the impression my intestine wanted to unscrew out of my body completely.

The next 4 hours I was occupied fighting with the gas inside of my body. I wasn’t the only one – you could hear the sound of farts which people blurted out all over the plane. The air was so smelly that I think the plane would have exploded if somebody had lit a match. Since then I never travelled with British Airways again. And since then, I’ve always taken some crackers with me.

– Marion

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Everett Sandoval September 23, 2010 at 9:20 am

Hilarious. They could make a movie from that!


Eric September 24, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Like an airborne blazing saddles.


Peace Lover September 23, 2010 at 10:16 am

I am British and I have to agree that many in flight meals on our airlines in coach are quite bad. I remember once being given a muffin as part of my in flight meal. I took one bite out of it and nearley spit it back up again. It was incredibly and horribly sweet like an entire bag of sugar had been used to make one muffin.


rerere September 23, 2010 at 2:26 pm

What I do agree with is the fact you know now to bring your own food. However, I don't understand why you don't want to fly British Airways over just food.


Ron September 24, 2010 at 3:52 am

At least you had something do on your flight…lol


Adam September 28, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Good thing nobody ignited a spark of static electricity! Otherwise, a hole could have been blown clear through the skin of the plane resulting in an explosive decompression! While you'd have been reaching for the oxygen masks and diving towards the ground in an emergency decent, a lot more than wind could have come up from the other end of the gassy passengers piping! That would have been a mess!


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