I was flying early Christmas Day morning from PHL-ORD-SEA on United. I overheard the father in the seat behind me say to his young son, “Look closely out the window, maybe you will see Santa Claus.” I rolled my eyes and cringed knowing what would soon follow as the flight was delayed and the sun slowly started to rise. I overheard the son whine to the father it’s getting light out and I haven’t seen Santa, and then he started to cry. Thirty minutes later, the sobbing subsided and soon after we are up and on our way.
It started with a few thumps and soon cascaded into a full force assault as the little boy was kicking the back of my seat. With a smile, I kindly asked the boy’s parents to stop his actions and for 15 minutes I had peace. Then the kicking began again, with more force than before. I caught the attention of the FA and she asked the parents to control the little boy. Again I had peace for 15 minutes before the “fun” resumed. Showing my Christmas spirit, I stood up (actually crouched because the overhead bins make it impossible to stand) and very quietly mentioned to the father that if his son kicked my seat again, I would rip off the boy’s legs and beat the father to death with them.
The shocked look on the father was priceless, the mother immediately complained to the FA who gave me a thumbs up; the rest of the trip was quiet and peaceful.
I hope the physiatrist bill won’t be excessive when I’m blamed for this child’s failures the rest of his life.