I recently flew from Australia to the United States to visit family for Thanksgiving. My mother has flown to Australia a couple of times in United Economy Plus, so I asked her before I flew if she thought it was worth it to upgrade. She told me, “Absolutely! You’re closer to the front of the plane, you’re traveling with more experienced fliers, and there are no crying babies.” Sign me up, right?
So I rock up to the airport and, lucky me, secure the last upgrade to Economy Plus! Hooray! (Or so I thought.)
I get on the plane for my 14 hour SYD-LAX leg and am shocked to discover that, oh hey, there’s a family with a two-year-old in the seat in front of me. So much for the no babies thing. Luckily, he’s a quiet tyke who seems content to sit and watch his DVDs (with headphones, thank goodness).
About halfway through the flight, I notice a distinctly… fecal smell in the air. It’s quite strong, but it quickly passes. I chalk it up to being a few rows ahead of the lavatories, although I’ve sat in similar seats before without smelling poo.
This smell recurs again a couple hours later. What the…?
It’s not until I’m up at the lavatories waiting for my turn and I see the father from the row ahead of me carrying a used diaper with him to the lavatory that I realize that the parents have just been changing their kiddo *at the seat* rather than getting up and taking him to the changing table in the lavatory!
I guess I could have understood if the fasten seatbelt sign was on (because hey, sometimes there are emergencies!) but that wasn’t the case…
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Once again, bonehead parents giving the rest of us a bad name. And, by the way, how gross is the thought of being the next lucky passenger to sit in those seats?
What disgusting people. I hate to think of the next person that's seated there. Even more if they used the tray table to change the child's diaper. 🙁
Changing diapers anywhere other than the restroom is totally unacceptable. I hope you reported that disgusting family to a flight attendant.
Babies should be shipped as cargo.
Put some sawdust in the bottom of their crate to soak up their discharge, and keep the stinky little turds away from us.
Bwaaahahaha! A logger after my own heart!
Comeon people. Shipped as cargo? Its always easy to tell who has kids and who doesn't. You know, you used to be a kid at one point or another. You probably stunk as well. It's part of life, get used to it.
Furthermore, odds are the kid stunk before the parents ever started changing their diaper. Diapers are not some magical tool that completely prevent smells from getting out. Odds are you would have smelled it anyway. There really is nothing a parent can do to prevent a young child from being stinky on a plane, which is unfortunate. I can honestly say, though, that there are some adults that smell 10 times worse than a stinky child. Perhaps you should ship some of them as cargo since they have the ability to not stink and choose to not exercise that ability.
Fatties, stinkers, seat kickers, screamers and drunks should all be shipped as cargo.
There should be a fatty box located at each gate for the porkers to test their seat-ability, and a stinkometer to measure odoriferousness.
There should be an direct to cargo in-cabin chute for in flight seat shitters.
I think that jack-a$$ fliers should be strapped to the wings. Their egos are entirely too large to fit inside the cabin and their self-centered ravings cause them to use more than their fair share the available breathing air. If I had to choose between smelling a baby and hearing your bitching, I'd choose the former.
Sounds like you've been huffing diapers Josh. People like you should be stuck in a depressurized cargo hold so you can be removed from the gene pool.
Seriously? I've changed many a diaper (former childcare worker here) and while sometimes you can certainly smell the baby stink before you take of the diaper, it intensifies by *quite a bit* when the diaper comes off.
Plus, I don't want poopy germs all over the tray table!
I suggest carrying disinfectant wipes on a plane to clean off tray tables and armrests.
If your that concerned about germs on your tray table then simply don't use it or bring sanitizer wipes and gel with you. They make small enough bottles that can be in your carry-on. Seriously do you think these things get cleaned, ever? Not likely, at least not very well. My guess is that parents using the seat or tray to change on will wipe it down after use, and likely are using a change pad so the baby isn't actually just bare bum on the seat/tray. Also, have you ever changed a diaper before? If you're getting poo everywhere then you're doing it very wrong.
Go eat a bag of dicks Josh, you're probably one of the ignorant breeders who think that their kids acting like demonioc little fucktards is "so cute". Please go kill yourself and take your more than likely fatassed wife and demonic fuck trophies with you.
Which one of the above are you?
Logger, the more I read you, the more I like you. A snarky poster after my own heart!
Airlines should be required to set aside last two rows for parents with stinky or screaming babies and fatsos. Have a sound and smell prove wall installed and during flight the door to this "last resort" sealed with duct tape. I think I will file a patent for this idea in Washington.
And if you are not in the family section you can't come in during the flight. Lovely idea!!
I just hope you have a big bladder because the bathrooms will be on our side of the wall, and cattle class isn't aloud to use the ones in First class. 🙂 Enjoy your flight.
To DSD: Idiot, don't know when someone making fun of it?
Sorry for being rude, it is a bad habit of mine. I pray to The Lord each day to help me. Maybe if you were a good Christian you would pray for me too
This is a bogus logger posting above:
The real logger has no use for religion, and would never solicit prayers.
If Jeebus saves he better save himself.
Incidentally, Delta has a new tool inj their arsenal to help fattyboombalatty passengers get out of their seats at the end of a flight:
The Jaws of Life.
Phony Logger, screw you.
This is disgusting. These are the same kind of parents who change their babies on restaurant tables or store counter tops.