Portly Stories

Holiday Travel With Mr. Hefty & Mr. Windowseat

December 6, 2009 Portly Stories

My flights from hell are always holiday flights, which isn’t really surprising, all things considered. My worst thus far took place just before Christmas three years ago. The airline had just recently started a feature which allowed passengers to select their seats online up to 24 hours prior to departure, but I was unaware of [...]

Read the full article →

Goodyear Blimp Impersonators Vs. Me

December 3, 2009 Portly Stories

Over last summer when I was returning to home in Michigan after a meeting in New York, I had a rather lousy experience. First I arrived there with some 2 hours to my departure time so I should have plenty of time. Right? Wrong, it seemed a lot of employees had called in sick or something [...]

Read the full article →

Portly Passenger Contained

December 2, 2009 Portly Stories

I’m at the window. My wife is in the center and this large guy (about 350lbs) takes the aisle seat. Before he sits he reaches down and flips up the arm rester that will be between him and my wife who we’ll call Faye. He does this because he already knows he won’t fit into [...]

Read the full article →

Bouncing Leg & B.O.

November 27, 2009 Portly Stories

The worst planes these days are the Canadair and Embraer regional jets that are now used on longer and longer routes. “Worst” because of the 3/4 sized seats. Just yesterday, I was on a Delta flight from Memphis to Oklahoma City and was seated next to a man 50% larger than his seat was intended [...]

Read the full article →

Fast Food Family Unable To Fit Into Seats

November 23, 2009 Portly Stories

I was on an Atlanta to Ft. Myers flight waiting at the gate for a couple of passengers to fill the remaining seats. It was a full plane with the exception of the three seats a couple of aisles ahead of me and on the left of the plane. All the passengers have been on [...]

Read the full article →

Threat Of Arrest Over Armrest War

November 21, 2009 Portly Stories

This happened this past summer on my way from IAH to ABQ. I had gotten on the flight early and had settled into my window seat. I was lucky enough to get a bulk head seat, as I like to stretch out my legs. I was reading my book when a big, I mean BIG [...]

Read the full article →

Like Pleats On A Dress

November 8, 2009 Portly Stories

Two years ago, I was in my window seat on the 2-seat side of an MD-80 and this very large (est. 400+ lbs) woman sat next to me, apologized while she put the arm rest up, and then then proceeded to arrange her folds of fat, like they were pleats on a dress.  She literally [...]

Read the full article →

The Pancake Flight

November 5, 2009 Portly Stories

I was on a flight from Phoenix to Providence that had a change of planes in Atlanta. The Atlanta to Providence leg was on an MD-80 and, sure enough, I got the window seat in the last row next to the rear engine nacelle. For those not familiar with the back of an MD-80, the [...]

Read the full article →

Corpulent Passenger Crushes Woman

October 23, 2009 Portly Stories

I was flying from Los Angeles to Seattle in first class. My husband was on one side of the aisle and I was on the other so I asked the person sitting next to him if he’d switch with me so my husband and I could sit together. They agreed and we switched. A few [...]

Read the full article →

Voracious Eater Vexes Passenger

October 20, 2009 Portly Stories

I just came back from a biz trip to Cincinnati. I will be brief - quick flight from Philly, maybe an hour and fifteen minutes. Typical regional jet, cramped, uncomfortable for all on board. The woman that sat next to me was 280 (I’m being serious) maybe 300 lbs. I can deal with it, overweight people [...]

Read the full article →

Page 4 of 8« First...23456...Last »