Portly Stories

Squeezed In

April 27, 2009 Portly Stories

This event occurred on a flight back from LAX to DC on a business trip. I am not a big guy; I am on the short side and only weigh 155. My original seat on this flight was a middle one towards the rear. After boarding we sat at the gate for about 45 minutes [...]

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Forced To Split In Half

April 27, 2009 Portly Stories

My old boss, who is a plus-sized woman, to say the least, has always had the courtesy to purchase two coach seats when flying because she needs the room and doesn’t want to inconvenience other people. We board the plane for a business trip. I’m seated three rows behind her. Unfortunately, the airline has assigned [...]

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Spilled Body & Spilt Water

April 27, 2009 Portly Stories

I once had a job that required me to travel quite a bit. I was travelling from Boston to LAX and was resigned to yet another long flight in my window seat. You always hope the seat next to you will be empty. Nope. The man that sat down to me was HUGE. His fat [...]

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Smothered By A Human Beanbag

December 27, 2008 Portly Stories

A few years ago I had a job interview and the first leg of my flight–Denver to Vegas–was full of rowdy passengers who hadn’t known each other previously but all got acquainted in one of the airport bars before boarding. As they piled onto the plane, laughing and joking, I reread my notes for the [...]

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Squashed In A Window

August 27, 2008 Portly Stories

I was taking a one way flight from LAX to TPA, and I was flying coach. I thought to myself this shouldn’t be too bad. I boarded and found my seat somewhat near the end of the plane. I was sitting in a window seat, and there was a man in an aisle seat; there [...]

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No More Sympathy

July 27, 2008 Portly Stories

OK, no more sympathy for fat people. I was on a Southwest Airlines flight from Providence to Phoenix at the end of May, and a fat woman boarded and could not find a seat, so she chose to sit in the middle seat next to me on the bulkhead (no pun intended). I chose my [...]

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Squeezed In The Middle

May 27, 2008 Portly Stories

I was on an eight hour plane ride with a group from school. Our teachers had told us that one or two people wouldn’t be seated with the rest of the group, and of course me and my friend got to be those lucky two. Our seats were the middle two in a row of [...]

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Big Guy Fancies Furry Hat

December 27, 2007 Portly Stories

Last month I was flying to Israel with my family on Continental Airlines. Since we are a family of 5, my son and I sat in the middle while my wife and 2 daughters sat across the aisle. A man sat down next to my son who must have weighed at least 350 lbs. The [...]

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Travel Tip

November 27, 2007 Portly Stories

I had a five hour flight ahead of me and settled into my aisle seat near the back. A fellow who could charitably be described as portly squeezed into the middle seat. If he weighed 20 pounds he weighed 300. His mass of flesh spilled over the armrest forcing me to lean lean left like [...]

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“Ample” Lady

October 27, 2007 Portly Stories

Flying from Kansas City to LAX, full flight, my wife and I took our seats…well, not exactly. We had the aisle and center, an “ample” lady was in the window seat. Because of her size, she could not get the arm rest down; she was spilling into my wife’s seat. I volunteered to sit there [...]

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