Little Johny Business Bastard

October 2, 2009

in Passenger Stories

In early February I took a 3 day trip out to Oklahoma on a job seeking mission. Flew from FWA-DFW-OKC on the way out and TUL-DFW-ORD-FWA on the way back. I’m an aviation nut and always get a window with a good wing view. I enjoy flying… just not the hell you have to go through to even get on board these days. American Airlines for the flights. I could have taken an earlier flight home with one less stop but I couldn’t resist the chance to fly on a 777 for the first time.

Everything went smooth, other than the now skimpy in flight service you get these days. I got into Dallas from Tulsa that morning and spent about 3.5 hours there before finally being able to board my much awaited flight to Chicago on the 777. This is when the true hell started to break loose. I was in row 25. Just getting through the business class section proved a nightmare. There was a couple in their mid 30’s dressed in expensive clothes and taking their sweet time putting their 2 tons of junk in the bins and getting seated so the rest of us could get through. They held up the line for around 10 minutes and the flight attendant standing right behind them said nothing. But that wasn’t so bad after I arrived at my row.

This flight was completely full with no seats available. I get to row 25 and there is some younger business guy (late 20’s early 30’s) sitting in the aisle seat tie and all but not a suit (I’m just in dusty old work jeans, roughed up cowboy boots, flannel shirt, and a well worn cowboy hat). He gets up and goes a few rows back to let everyone through. I squeezed in best I could and opened the bin to put my carry on in… completely full. Mind you I had no checked bag for this trip so my duffel bag was pretty stuffed. A quick look around proved no available bins anywhere close by, so last dreaded resort I did the best I could to shove it under the seat… AA has entertainment system boxes under every window seat. I knew this before hand but didn’t know they would be so bulky.

Ok… now seated and feet cramped but short flight I didn’t really mind. A couple minutes later my seat mate returns and sits down. I could tell then that he is not used to cattle class and soon proved it. Started off by telling me my bag was bothering him… sorry bud, no room, I did my best, deal with it. Then he proceeded to complain to the flight attendant and asked if there was a seat up front; she laughed and walked away. Then right before push back the captain informed us we were waiting for the fuel service guys to come back and shut a fuel door they had forgot and we would be on our way shortly. This didn’t help business bastard’s mood any. Finally airborne after one powerful takeoff and I was enjoying every minute of it as we climbed steeply to 41,000 feet. Then the fun continued – this guy asked every flight attendant that walked by if there were any seats available up front… they usually just said no and walked off. He made a few comments on how he should get a refund for having to put up with this hell. Drinks came around and they didn’t have what he wanted, then he asked when the the meal was going to be served… mind you just before departure they announced only first and business class would be served food.

All this and only about an hour or so into this 2.5 hour flight. Just before beginning our descent he kicked at my bag in an attempt to shove it my way… which didn’t work… and just pissed me off as I had a couple fragile items in there. Before I could say anything he told me to move my bag and again proceeded to kick it with his little wing tip shoes. I said rather firmly that it was not possible and besides that it was completely under the seat in front of me and maybe just a quarter inch onto his side. One more kick and calling me a dumb kid I finally snapped. I’m 21, a farmer… and no kid; I don’t take kindly to people putting me down for who I am. I tried to keep it quiet but people 3 aisles away heard every bit of it… and had a few people looking at me before a flight attendant came along to settle things down.

“I’m sick of you rich bastards that can’t stand to fly unless it’s first or business class. I’m not a damn kid and I work my ass off to supply the food you put on your table. For crying out loud it’s only a 2 hour flight!!! Buy yourself a beer and shut the f*ck up!!! Or better yet buy me a few beers for having to put up with your sorry ass!!!”

I was unbuckled and hunched up under the bin at that point ready put him in his place before the flight attendant arrived and asked what was wrong. I calmly said everything was fine, sat back down, and buckled up. She walked away and most of the people that had witnessed the whole ordeal held up their hands and gave a silent clap. I stared out the window the rest of the flight snapping my camera every now and then and he never said another word.

Finally arriving in Chicago I managed to get the same flight attendant off to the side, explained what happened and apologized for making a scene. She patted me on the shoulder, chuckled, and said she was glad someone finally put that asshole in his place and told me to have a good day.

Soon as we docked at the gate he jumped up and opened the bin, only then I realized it was so full because he had about 3 big bags crammed in there. He made it up to the business class section before anyone else even got out of their seats. Apparently he didn’t want to sit next to me one second longer.

People like that just annoy me to no end. If you have to sit in first or business class on a 2 hour flight because you can’t handle even a minute in economy then you shouldn’t fly at all. But if you ever sit next to me in your fancy dress cloths and think you’re better then me and everyone else back there… better keep it to yourself or get a boot up your ass. One thing I can’t stand is a stuck up little Johny Business Bastard that thinks he can order me around because I’m not rich like him.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

anon October 3, 2009 at 7:32 am

Well, at 21, you really are a kid. You just don't realize it yet. You might be a mature 21 year old, but you're still a youngster.


saw October 3, 2009 at 10:06 am

anon's right – you are a kid. The fact that you took an extra flight leg just to fly on a 777 proves that… if you you had any flight-legs behind you you'd realize just how retarded that sounds…


Your buddy in the next seat did deserve a slap on the back of the head, and if he'd have kicked my bag, I'd have kicked his leg so hard he'd be black & blue for a month… then I'd ask him if he'd ever eaten a plastic cup, and if he wanted this to be his first time…


Marta October 3, 2009 at 10:48 am

Don't pay any attention to Saw and Anon, to them a plane is a bus that moves faster than a Greyhound.

I do agree with Saw that your seat mate deserved a great big slap up side his head, I would have paid big money to have seen that happen.

Keep flying and enjoying yourself while doing it and bless you for the work you do, I surely do appreciate it.


TheBigM October 3, 2009 at 12:11 pm

Really nice that you still loving flying!

I used to travel on business a lot (never in Business Class) and was often appalled by the behaviour of some of my fellow business travellers. I was too tense about flying to be a jerk but some guys think they have a right to treat every one else like they're below them. Good on you!


saw October 3, 2009 at 7:19 pm


Unless you haven't been on a plane recently, or you're lucky enough to always "sit up front"… a plane IS just a big bus that moves faster than a Greyhound (although, based on flight delays, security, check-in times etc… I can make a case for the Greyhound being somewhat faster in certain situations).

In fact… the average bus seat is bigger and more comfortable than an airline seat, AND there's more room in the overheads (gasp!).

Me? I love to fly. I just don't like sitting on airplanes because you spend more time on the ground than you do in-flight overall.


Amanita October 4, 2009 at 11:45 am

To the poster in this story, kudos! The other guy sounds like a self-important jerk who needed to be put in his place. Regardless of your age, calling you a kid was a cheap shot.

I'm a blue-collar myself, (Security guard, wanna be a longshorewoman), and I can't stand people who think that just because they wear a suit, they're superior to those of us in uniforms, work pants or coveralls. And the way some of them whine when they find out how much some blue collars get paid, well it's just shameful. As if they feel we don't deserve the cash because we work outside, or don't have a slew of degrees.

FYI, I'm not ragging on all white collars, or putting down the educated. Only the ones who think that their degree or suit is some indicator of superiority. Not all white collar folk are petty like that, my parents sure aren't.


Demotage October 5, 2009 at 8:06 am

Yeah, the guy sounds like an insufferable jerk. Good that you told him off.

I'm curious about one thing. As a farmer, what kind of job has an interview that you have to fly to? I'm not being snide here, I just like learning about other people's work. I admire what you do. It is important work. I'm just genuinely curious.


Sabrina October 5, 2009 at 12:19 pm

SAW and ANON…..why would you feel the need to put him down by contradicting him and saying he was a kid anyway? You obviously don't remember what it was like to be 20….remember? Think hard….

This guy handled himself like a man and should be commended like one


ps October 5, 2009 at 1:27 pm

I did the Newark to SF haul for a number of years and your seatmate sounds like a normal roundtrip for me over thise years. There are a number of self important idiots who want penthouse service at a basement price. And nothing wrong with purposely doing a 777 haul. It's a nice ride. Also, I have several friends whose motto is "either it's Boeing or I'm not going". Hope the 777 was worth the hassle. And hope the job search was a success.


Atari October 7, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Anon I can agree with, because it's true. I'm nineteen, myself, and I don't kid myself for a second that I am little more than a youngster.

However, it's really lame that Saw still hangs around. Ruins the experience of the website for many people with his pretentious posts and dogmatic retorts.

Taking an extra flight just to fly on a particular plane makes him seem 'retarded,' Saw?

Too bad everyone isn't like you, right? Because the definition of 'intelligent' is, 'Someone who acts how Saw thinks that he should".

Someone can walk around the world on his knees if he wants, because it is his right as a human being, and no one should feel so superior that he has to tell someone that he is idiotic for doing it.


Jim October 8, 2009 at 6:26 am

Well, your seatmate was a jerk. But, you are making some stereotypical assumptions too. Just because he has wingtips and a tie, does not mean he is rich. More than likely he was on a business trip, somewhere he didn't want to go, in order to earn his measly paycheck, in order to feed his family, by buying the food that you produce, that provides your income. Point is….we are all connected…we need you to produce the food…you need us to buy it from you. It is cyclical.

You accuse your seatmate of thinking he is better than you…..but, your attitude seems to suggest that your hard-working, blue-collar life makes you better than others. Just because you work with the earth…doesn't mean you are the salt of the earth…just saying. We all make the choices we do, and pursue the careers we do….none are better or more deserving than the others…we are all in this together.

Finally, I would be upset too if your bag was in my space. The space on a plane is limited. I pay for my seat, and the space in front of it. I do not want to share my seat with a portly passenger…nor, do I want to share my space with someone that refuses to check their luggage. In your story, the guy took up more than his share too. In my opinion…everyone should be forced to check their luggage, and only carry on one small personal item. …boarding and exiting would be a lot faster….and we would have more space in the plane for ourselves.


theblackdog October 9, 2009 at 9:56 am

Sure Jim, everyone can check their luggage, when the assholes that steal valuables from checked baggage are all fired.


saw October 9, 2009 at 11:22 am

Hey Atari…

"Taking an extra flight just to fly on a particular plane makes him seem ‘retarded,’ Saw? "

Yeah… it does. If there was something special about the plane, like it was the Concorde or an F16, maybe… but it's a flying squished bus just like any other – so yes – it's "retarded".

Did I infer that the writer was mentally handicapped though? No.

As for the personal attacks, get a grip. You're not God's gift to websites so put a sock in it.


Atari October 24, 2009 at 12:14 pm

I see, Saw.

I thought you actually had some sort of reasoning. Instead, you're just being pretentious.

If you are unable to see that your personal preferences are not the only preferences which are reasonable, then there is little help for you.

No words which I could use would be able to articulate the absolute inanity of what you have said; not to a closed off mind like yours.

And you imply that I am conceited? While telling someone that he is retarded because he enjoys riding in airplanes?

Wow. Unbelievable.


saw October 26, 2009 at 4:04 am

Hey Atari… i don't think you have the "mental wherewithal" to correctly evaluate anything you read… Seems like the real "retard" (and keep in mind that in this case, I am, in fact, using the term to refer to mental deficiency) is you.

And in the interests off keeping things just remotely on-track, you can further bait if you wish, I'm pretty much done with you now.


Atari October 27, 2009 at 10:41 am

I hope that everyone reads this conversation. It would be useful for them to perceive the absolute arrogance demonstrated by Saw.

And once again, he uses the word 'wherewithal' improperly.

It's not about bait. If it was, then almost EVERYTHING you write on this site could be construed as baiting people into fussing at you, because to the average man, such absolute conceit is nigh impossible.


saw October 31, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Hey, Atari…


  /ˈrisɔrs, -soʊrs, -zɔrs, -zoʊrs, rɪˈsɔrs, -ˈsoʊrs, -ˈzɔrs, -ˈzoʊrs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ree-sawrs, -sohrs, -zawrs, -zohrs, ri-sawrs, -sohrs, -zawrs, -zohrs] Show IPA


1. a source of supply, support, or aid, esp. one that can be readily drawn upon when needed.


It's the RIGHT word, used CORRECTLY. So shut your blowhole and go away.


Jennifer R. Povey March 26, 2014 at 10:57 am

Honestly, he was probably flying on his company's dime and they wouldn't pay for business class…


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