Soused Senior

August 16, 2009

in Senior Stories

On a short business trip from Buffalo, NY to Newark. I was on a completely full US Air plane. Two seats left on the plane, one next to me and one behind me. An elderly man with an English accent, filthy clothes, and pants unzipped, no underwear and held up with only his belt, boards with a younger man maybe a caretaker. I mentally pray that he won’t, but he does sit next to me. As he sits, his pants drop to mid thigh, with all of his glory just sitting there in the open. Did I mention it was a morning flight and he was already drunk? Thankfully, a FA saw this as we were about to leave and quickly dropped in a blanket.

I asked for a seat change with the companion but was denied as we were taxiing. He immediately starts to bellow for a sandwich from his companion and a “Cocktail” from the FA even though we were on the runway. He gets the sandwich and drools pieces into the blanket, his lap, and privates which are becoming uncovered again, all the while yelling for a “Cocktail. I would like a Scotch now.” Once we are airborne the companion thankfully agrees to a seat change, tucks him in and gets him some booze. I could have used some myself at that point. After a couple of drinks and 15 minutes he falls asleep. Thank god for short flights.

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