An After Meal Snack

August 3, 2009

in Baby & Kid Stories

Several years ago I was flying from Denver to San Francisco to spend Thanksgiving at my Grandmother’s house. I had an aisle seat and next to me was a little boy, whose mother sat next to the window.

I love children, and so for the first hour of the flight the little boy and I talked and played games while his mother read a magazine. He told me his name and how he had just turned 5 and was on his way to his Grandmother’s house too.

After that first hour they came around with our lunches. All three of us ate in relative silence, the little boy eating his whole lunch. When the cabin stewards came by and collected the our lunch trays, the little boy put up the seat tray in front of him, then lifted the arm rest between him and his mother. Then, with out warning, this 5-year-old lifted up his mother’s shirt and started breastfeeding. She just kept reading her magazine, completely uncovered and unfazed.

Being a woman I know that breastfeeding can be a beautiful thing, but when that child can use a knife and fork, it stops being natural.

[Note: Mature content in comments]

{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

stop looking August 3, 2009 at 5:47 pm

I fail to see the problem. If it made you uncomfortable, you shouldn't have been looking.

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Leao April 5, 2010 at 7:17 pm

Excuse me, breastfeeding a 5 year old is disgusting, seriously. The child willbe a total outcast and will need severe therapy!

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GottaLoveIt August 3, 2009 at 8:35 pm

I'd like to whip my dick out next to "stop looking"'s face and see what his reaction is.

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Anonymous August 3, 2009 at 8:40 pm

The difference being that you whipping out your dick next to a stranger's face is sexual assault, and breastfeeding in public is not. You fail at analogizing, asshole.

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GottaLoveIt August 3, 2009 at 9:27 pm

And what exactly makes it assault? I wouldn't be hitting him with it.

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EvilWoman August 4, 2009 at 4:21 am

I'd doubt he'd even notice it was out.

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Winona August 4, 2009 at 4:47 am

At an elementary school where I worked many moons ago, there was a kindergarten-age child who we suspected was still being breastfed. Personally, I stopped once my child started getting teeth… but yeah, when the child can carry on full conversations/feed himself/dress himself, s/he is WAY too old to be breastfed, in private or in public.

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Nacho August 4, 2009 at 5:52 am

"And what exactly makes it assault?"

– GottaLoveIt

OOH, me me!

It's *sexual* assault. Though you make no move to actually hit the person, which would be sexual battery, you are taking it out in an effort to intimidate the person. (Whether it would be a result of you taking it out in the first place or it being scarily funny, I don't know, lol.)

To go even further, sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention. Examples of this are voyeurism, exhibitionism (which is what you're describing), incest, and sexual harassment (which is also what you're describing).

Breastfeeding, on the other hand, is NOT sexual assault. If you don't like it, don't look. A mother can choose to raise her child however she wants, including breastfeeding until she deems it time to wean the child. While breastfeeding a 5-year-old isn't my personal choice, I respect her decision to do so, both as a woman and as someone who respects the liberties of others.

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Jodi August 4, 2009 at 6:28 am

I agree with Nacho, I don’t think I’d breast feed that long (I have no children) but it is her right to raise her child as she sees fit and none of your business.

As for the GottaLoveIt, I agree with EvilWoman, I doubt Stoplooking would even notice if you did whip it out

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Hugh August 5, 2009 at 12:47 am

If she chooses to breast feed until the kid is 30, that's up to her. Doing it so blatantly in public, without regard for others sesnibilities is wrong. Yes, I know it is a natural thing, and not a sexual thing. Urinating is natural and non sexual, but we don't do it in public. Covering herself with a blanket or something, or taking it to the restroom, or somewhere else would have been a much better solution.

Whipping out your penis is a very poor analogy, and your method of making an argument for this is way off. While I kind of agree with your point, you make it poorly.

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SAW August 5, 2009 at 3:30 am

I'm not even gonna get in the "sexual assault" discussion…

The breastfeeding was in poor taste, but not wrong. Seeing this may be disturbing, but I'm guessing you were able to get over it…

I think, if I were in that situation, I'd see if I could find another empty seat somewhere, or take that opportunity to head for the lav…

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GottaLoveIt August 5, 2009 at 6:31 am

All he would have to do is not look, obviously. Change it to "What if I just whipped out my wang right there in my seat and started playing with it, without any regard for Stop Looking?" By his logic, it shouldn't be a problem, because he can just look the other way.

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MM August 5, 2009 at 9:37 pm

Eeeeew! NO! The kid doesn't have a "drink" after lunch! Not in the seat next to me! Do your perv stuff on your own time! Creepy!

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anon August 6, 2009 at 7:13 pm

"Sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention" – womenshealth.gov

If popping out a penis fits that definition, then I'm pretty sure that popping out a breast fits it too.

And before people say "breasts aren't just for sex," so are penises.

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SAW August 7, 2009 at 1:43 am

Actually… based on the age of the child, I wonder if the mother couldn't be charged for sexual contact with a minor or something like that…

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Nacho August 7, 2009 at 4:30 am

… wait. If penises aren't made for sex, then what are they for?

There are several cultures that don't look at breasts as sexual objects, and mothers who have young children also differentiate between breasts, "the sex object" and breasts, "my baby's nourishment." The latter is what they're there for; the former is what our sex-craved culture has turned them into.

Don't get me wrong — I may be a woman, but I love a supple pair of breasts. But I also realize there's a difference between what their actual use is and what our culture sees them as. This mother in the story apparently sees them as sources of nourishment for her child still, and we shouldn't be ones to judge her for that.

As far as one's dick is concerned… as far as I can see, that's purely a sexual object. However, I suppose that one could make the argument that it's also where pee comes from (therefore delineating it as a bodily waste appendage) or a weapon — and one may take that either literally or figuratively.

And I want an honest opinion… how is breastfeeding (other than the method by which the milk is obtained) different from drinking cow's milk? And would all you people feel just as uncomfortable if the woman had given her child a bottle (with what one would assume was breastmilk)?

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GottaLoveIt August 7, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Breastfeeding is different from drinking cow's milk because it involves sucking on a woman's breast. Duh.

And if the kid had a bottle of breast milk instead, it would have been weird, but less creepy, since most people would just assume it was full of cow's milk, which most kids that age (and people of all ages) drink anyway.

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Nacho August 10, 2009 at 5:42 am

Maybe it's just me, but I find it more weird that people drink milk that's made for baby cows then turn around and call it strange for a child to have milk of their own species. Just because a lot of people do it doesn't mean that it's right or natural (::points at Christianity as well:.

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SAW August 11, 2009 at 1:25 pm

FYI… I am a big believer in breast feeding – science has long proven that it's better for the children. I also have NO objection to women doing this publicly.

What I DO think, is that they should do their best to maintain a degree of modesty (that is, don't just throw your tops off, do a little "draping", ok?).

There is also a word in the dictionary about it – it's "weaning". That means, that you teach the child to eat regular food, and drink water instead of mother's milk. This is usually done BEFORE the child is old enough to easilly openly converse with adults, solve basic life problems, recite the ABCs and perform elementary calculus. Anyone receiving mothers milk (outside of whatever bizarre sexual fetish play they might engage in – I don't begrudge anyone their kinks either, which they should keep in private _please_) when they're at that stage or later is TOO OLD for it, and the mother should required to work with a therapist for whatever mental issues she might have.

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Atari August 12, 2009 at 8:35 pm

I heard a lot of, "A penis is purely sexual," but not very much, "It's not 'purely' sexual, it's also for urinating."

Most of the time, I see my penis as just a lump of vaguely sausage-shaped flesh that is presently useless.

A woman often sees her breasts in the same manner, sans the sausage-shape.

If a person whips out his phallus because it is hot or because it is hard (because when a man is relaxed, it can cause blood to flow into the penis, thereby hardening it) and he wants relief, we would see it as wrong, regardless of the innocence that the action may be done in.

In the selfsame manner, a woman whipping out her breasts so that her semi-dependent, capable son can have a snack is equally improper.

Since this is all subjective, we could go on forever, until we have reached the point of diminishing returns.

Ultimately, the point is this: All manner of sexual or private organs should remain within their appropriate clothing for the duration of their time in public.

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Pal August 21, 2009 at 6:05 pm

If a person perhaps witnessed a 2 year old throwing a temper tantrum in a store because they didnt get the toy they wanted, one might see it as annoying, or maybe even cute. But it is understandable.

If a 14 year old does it, it's not acceptable or understandable.

Breast feeding in public is acceptable and understandable…for a newborn. In our society it is deliquently not understandable.

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life can suck, live February 2, 2010 at 11:31 pm

Gottaloveit- He might bite it and treat that as his snack

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Tony May 31, 2010 at 12:48 am

bitty !

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Waldi May 31, 2010 at 7:51 am

I wonder if this woman also give that 5 year old kid a pacifier to suck on? Enough of those comments of breast or cow milk. Just don't drink any, have beer or Bloody Mary for breakfast. But serious, it is totally out of order to breastfeed a child that late. Would she had done it if there was a man sitting in the 3 seat row?

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