Spilled Body & Spilt Water

April 27, 2009

in Portly Stories

I once had a job that required me to travel quite a bit. I was travelling from Boston to LAX and was resigned to yet another long flight in my window seat. You always hope the seat next to you will be empty. Nope. The man that sat down to me was HUGE. His fat body spilled over into both the window and aisle seats and was clearly bothersome to me and woman in the aisle seat. My request to be reseated given the girth of the middle seat passenger was rejected as the flight was full. Joy. 5.5 hours of this guy.

During the served meal he was drinking a glass of water that he decided to dump on me while he was adjusting his bulk. The entire glass was spilled. He didn’t even acknowledge the accident and just poured himself another glass from the plastic bottle he had. I said “Are you even going to apologize for spilling your water?” He refused to even acknowledge his mistake. I summoned the FA. I said to her, “This fat guy just spilled his water on me and won’t apologize. If you don’t move me, I am going to push his head thru the window.” They moved me to 1st class where there was a seat.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous April 1, 2009 at 4:21 pm

I fear threatening a guy while talking to a flight attendant is a bad move, but thanks for the lol anyway.

Ridiculously fat people just shouldn't fly, or someone needs to make an airline for them.


Hugh May 1, 2009 at 7:22 am

Wow, you're a class act. You had me until your rude and obnoxious behavior. I doubt your story, and believe you to be a liar. Throwing the BS flag.


Jodi May 1, 2009 at 10:47 am

agree sounds like BS


Julicans May 5, 2009 at 7:25 am

I'll catch the BS flag and throw it back. If a pax made a threat like that then they should have been meet at the gate by the police, FAA and TSA.


Anonymous May 5, 2009 at 9:32 am



Rob May 27, 2009 at 6:25 pm

Making a threat on a tube flying several miles in the sky? Not likely successful today.

Either the story is BS, or you privately had a talk with a flight attendant.

Threats from a window seat….If I was the fat guy (and I'm not fat) I would have innocently pushed my bulk slightly closer into you during every minor bit of turbulence.


Laura Cardwell May 27, 2009 at 8:55 pm

If I were the fat guy I would have crushed your face between my heaving, sweating man breasts!

Being a passive aggressive baby and calling people names and making threats is a pretty bad way to go about trying to get your way dude. Try acting like you're not a surly teenager next time. If I were a flight attendant I would have ignored you completely.


Atari May 30, 2009 at 8:08 pm

Wow. The people responding are seriously blowing things WAY out of proportion.

When a guy spills his entire glass of water on you, refuses to apologize and is massively overweight, then he needs to be at least SOMEWHAT humble.

Also, what's with all the envy/jealousy/begrudging?

Are you all so petty that as soon as a guy talks about how awesome he is, you start insulting him?

"Oh, you insulted that loser and were moved to first class? I suddenly hate you, prick!"

Chill out, people. Also, he could very well have been speaking in hyperbole.

He may have just said, "I am seriously annoyed with this man, and I implore you to seat me somewhere else."

Either way; funny story, lame comments. Looks like no one can have self-respect, any more.


Elisa July 11, 2009 at 8:41 am

Well, I thought it was funny. The big guy only deserved respect until he acted like a tool. Then it's game on.


the dominator July 23, 2009 at 5:29 pm

yeh, i think this section is heavily scrutinized by all the big, fat lazy assholes.

i keep reading about these peole calling the person complaining about the fat people rude jerks etc. the fatty was the rude one i would have given the fat one something else to eat like my fist. then he can crap out his teeth after i have rammed them down his big, fat throat!


Anonymous July 25, 2009 at 5:13 am



the dominator July 27, 2009 at 1:33 am

what? i hope you don't mean my post is bullshit because it ain't.

i have beaten people up before. i haven't done it in a while but, i could do it again if the right opportunity presents itself!

i can kick some butt when needed!


the dominator July 28, 2009 at 8:13 pm

just so some of you know…

the dominator is not one to settle for or compromise. the dominator is an updated form of the old-fashioned toughuy.

the dominator does things one way- full throttle!!!

you've just been dominated!!!


Kyle April 1, 2011 at 11:14 am

Lot of anonymous people calling BS, wonder why…


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