A few months ago, I had the opportunity to fly US Airways to DC. Nothing much happened on the outbound from Boston, apart from us getting stuck to the tractor and the slow mechanic, but that was a stupid little thing.
The inbound home was much, much worse. We boarded at National, rather uneventfully. I had had some water at the airport, and felt like I needed the bathroom, but it was too late in the jetway. After boarding, we proceeded to sit at the gate as a woman was reseated no less than six times in eight minutes. She “can’t leave bag” at her old seat. It turned out that she was two rows up, and I would have made some “Shut the hell up and sit your ass down” comment, but she was about 97 years old and disoriented. And I had to pee.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard US Airways Shuttle Flight 2044 to Boston Logan International Airport. The FAA has asked us to remind you to remain seated for the first 30 minutes of the flight, until we clear DC airspace. Thank you.” This was followed by a low budget recorded safety briefing. Thirty minutes of a 55 minute flight. I really, really had to pee.
After takeoff, the nine people in 1st class were served drinks, and we were ignored by the friendly FAs. By now, it had been about 30 minutes, and it hurt with every movement. I unbuckled my seatbelt, when “Ladies and gentlemen, from the flight deck. We are beginning our descent into Boston. We will be on the ground in 20 minutes. Please stay in your seats.” I muttered curses at the FAA, and tried not to think about waterfalls.
We arrived in Boston, and after quickly thanking the crew, I was going to bolt up the ramp to the men’s room. But, alas, I was blocked. A woman couldn’t figure out how she was to drive her suitcase, and I reset it 8 times in three minutes.
By the time I was in the bathroom, I felt like I was going to explode. You would think that there would be a line, or a weird dude, or something so inconvenient you would set a personal record for “F-bombs dropped in a minute,” but there wasn’t. The airline was fine, and I recommend it, but don’t drink anything before your flight. Save your time and $7 for a shot of beer on the plane.