Intentional Infliction Of Gas

October 20, 2009

in Odor Stories

Several years ago I was working in Louisiana and was only able to fly home to San Diego every other week. I boarded my connection from Houston to San Diego excited that in only 3 more hours I would be home. I took my seat my seat in a fairly jovial mood and was greeted by and older Indian couple sitting next to me. They seemed nice enough and even though they had just finished up some food heavy with the pungent aroma of curry, I was fairly confident this was going to be a good flight.

Flash forward to about an hour into the flight when I started to smell something absolutely horrible every few minutes. The smell was so bad that I almost vomited when it first filled my nostrils as I also had my mouth open at the time. It was like clockwork. Every few minutes the smell returned just as pungent as before.

I finally noticed that right before the smell appeared the little old Indian woman next to met would shift in her seat. My overall mood began to slowly change with each passing minute. I decided I would let her know that I knew what she was doing the next time she shifted in her seat, so sure enough when she started to shift a few minutes later I turned and looked right at her. With a nice little smile on her face she stared back at me, slowly lifted the leg closest to mine, and proceeded to keep that leg slightly raised for at least a minute. What’s worse is that I actually sort of felt some air on my hand. Yes this woman was farting on me. I didn’t know what to do and had to resign myself to just putting tissue in my nostrils, turning on my Ipod, and praying the landing would come soon.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Just Me October 21, 2009 at 6:55 am

I laughed out loud, sorry! It sounds awful though!


Jodi October 21, 2009 at 11:38 am

Although I’m sure it was horrible for you, the evil side of me finds this extremely amusing. Sorry!


Stan October 21, 2009 at 1:26 pm

Why didn’t you return the favor?


saw October 21, 2009 at 6:47 pm

The "evil" me loves this one two !!


JP October 27, 2009 at 9:02 am

This one is classic. I'm laughing too! Sorry about your misery though.


Increasedosologist February 2, 2010 at 10:37 am

This is not funny, not because it's bad, but because the fart humor is so old and there is only so many times you can laugh at the same thing. The strategic solution is aiming the vent nozzle to hit the top of your head sligtly offset to the side of the offending pax and put it on full blast. This also helps when a pax next to you is coughing.


Bob July 18, 2010 at 12:10 pm

Fart jokes get old ? No way !


boomboom September 17, 2014 at 2:37 pm

crying lolling soo hard .. love this story


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