Travel Tip

November 27, 2007

in Portly Stories

I had a five hour flight ahead of me and settled into my aisle seat near the back. A fellow who could charitably be described as portly squeezed into the middle seat. If he weighed 20 pounds he weighed 300. His mass of flesh spilled over the armrest forcing me to lean lean left like a sapling in a hurricane.

He was dressed for volleyball – green gym shorts and a white T shirt. Based on his B. O. I could only assume he had just finished playing. I tried my best to hold my breath, but hey, 5 hours is a long time.

About an hour into the trip, Mr. 5 by 5 told me he was headed to Arizona for business. He had an afternoon meeting. After landing he would rush to his hotel, grab a shower and meet with his team. He wasn’t shy about sharing a travel tip: “Never shower before a plane trip. It’s a waste. Wait till you arrive. You save water. It’s good for the environment.”

Well at least his heart was in the right place, if nothing else.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

KP April 2, 2009 at 10:10 am



LD April 2, 2009 at 11:56 am

This really is funny. Thanks!


J April 2, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Awe, that's kinda cute.


kevin April 3, 2009 at 3:20 am

did you tell him "travel tip: don't sit next to you"


jag April 3, 2009 at 7:32 am

The guy was a fucking slob. What do you mean his 'heart was in the right place? I'm sure he could give two shits about the environment or anything else for that matter.


John April 3, 2009 at 7:35 am

How about caring for the environment immediately surrounding him? Doesn't he care about that? He's just too lazy to take 2 showers. That's why he's fat.


jimbob April 17, 2009 at 12:16 pm

chances are it was you who smelled, not him. just cause he was in volleyball clothes doesnt mean he was playing. he is fat you know.


Phil April 18, 2009 at 9:46 am

That's when you flat out disagree with him. It's one thing to want to do your part for the environment, it's another to be considerate to others. That guy sucks!


Atari May 31, 2009 at 9:05 am

He's fat because he doesn't take showers?


the dominator July 23, 2009 at 7:47 pm

i would have told jabba that despite the whole enviro-crap he was spewing out of his big, fat mouth. that the environment will forgive him if he showers before he flies and so will i.


Guest December 4, 2013 at 10:03 pm

No no no! It does not matter if Jabba showers at his house or the hotel, since he'll be using water either way it does nothing for the environment. He only thinks he saves because the water usage won't appear on his water bill. But the water at the hotel is not 'free' because they assume he will use water during his stay and include it in the price he's paying for the room.


Leave a Comment
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous post:

Next post: