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Observations From An Airline Staffer

August 19, 2010

in Animal Stories

A customer wanted to avoid the pet fee, so they tranquilized their cat, wrapped it in bubble wrap and put it in a suitcase/carry-on. The flight was delayed and the cat woke up screeching and clawing. Busted.

A female customer brought aboard the flight a Chihuahua dog. During the flight the crew attendant noticed that the customer had taken the dog out to nurse it. I’m not kidding.

A customer’s flight was cancelled due to weather. The next flight out was not until the next day. The customer demanded to be compensated for a hooker because he was being deprived of his wife for the night.

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Tagged as: animals, breastfeeding, cat, dog, flight attendant, sexuality, weather

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The Bulldog Flight Attendant

April 18, 2010

in Attendant & Pilot Stories

My wife and I went on a Caribbean Cruise, and took a nonstop flight back home, Puerto Rico to Los Angeles, on American Airlines.

On this return flight, we encountered one of the BATTIEST flight crews around.

It started in the airport. First off, they neglected to do any pre-boarding. We saw this poor old lady, who didn’t speak English, sitting in her wheelchair watching everybody else board. What’s she supposed to do? I still don’t know what happened to her, hopefully they got her on-board.

Even the boarding process itself was off. The lady taking the tickets, and the lady announcing the boarding group, were totally out of sync. Microphone: “Groups one through three please.” Ticket lady: “Group one only, we haven’t started group two yet.”

Then I get on board. As I’m heading back to my seat, I pass the bulldog flight attendant. She is walking through her section of the plane (about 12 rows), closing all the overhead bins. They’re still empty, but she’s closing them. As each person arrives in her section, she asks where they are sitting. If it’s behind her section, she permits them to pass. If it’s in her section, she examines their bag to decide if she’ll let them put it in the overhead bin. Rinse, repeat.

We seated quickly. A few minutes later this family with three kids (all under 10) gets on. They clearly speak very little English. They needed to have a serious talk with whomever booked their seats: three across in one row, then single middle seats in the subsequent two rows. So they’re trying to figure out which child should sit alone between two strangers. I attempted to call the bulldog over to help, but she says we’re not in her section, so to ask the flight attendant at the back of the plane. I head back, and that flight attendant told me that she had just gotten all the drinks, and had to load them or we wouldn’t be able to take off. She told me to ask the bulldog. When I said the bulldog sent me to her, she said to sit down and someone would be over eventually. Eventually that got straightened out.

So we manage to take off successfully, and we’re about 2 hours into the flight. Suddenly, one of the flight attendants comes on the PA system: “ladies and gentlemen, the pilot has just turned on the fasten seatbelt sign, as we are expecting some turbulance. Please return to your seats as quickly as possible. If you can’t get to your seats, please sit on the floor.” HUH???

There was no turbulance. Maybe they flew over it, who knows. After about 15 minutes, the fasten seatbelt was turned off, and we could get up off the floor.

Toward the end of the flight, the back flight attendant came to talk to the people sitting directly behind us, who had brought a small dog on the airplane with them. She tells them that she’s glad they brought it onboard, because it’s really bad to check dogs under the plane. They tell her that they actually have two dogs, so there is also one under the plane. FA goes on this long rant about how horrible it is – some pilots forget to turn on the light so they’re trapped in the dark for 8 hours, if there’s any power problem that’s the first area where power gets cut so your dog might freeze to death, there is frequently trauma lasting days after the flight, etc. So helpful.

As an alternative, the FA suggests that they have a doctor write a note claiming that they need the dogs for medical reasons, and they’ll be permitted to bring both on board. Someone behind her butts in and asks about consideration and safety for the rest of the passengers, and she tells them that if a doctor writes a note, that takes priority.

We managed to land equally uneventfully. After a quick detour because the flight attendants gave us the wrong baggage claim location, we got our bags and headed home.

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Tagged as: animals, disability, dog, flight attendant, overhead bin, seats

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Return From Paris Is A Nightmare

March 10, 2010

in Odds & Ends Stories

A while back, my wife (then my girlfriend) and I were in Paris on vacation. We had a wonderful time (even managed to get “bumped” to 1st class on the flight over the pond from MSP 10 days earlier). Well, we reported to CDG in plenty of time for our return flight to Detroit (MSP doesn’t really have customs for incoming foreign flights). We checked-in, and all was well. When it came time for the flight (on NWA), however, that’s when all hell broke loose.

The boarding time came and went, and there was no information. After an hour, someone finally came out to tell us that French authorities weren’t releasing our flight because they didn’t think there were enough life vests on board. Huh? Someone actually counted life vests under the seats on a plane that landed there less than 12 hours earlier? Okay. Well, the “counting” on the life vests took over 4 hours. Eventually, we were allowed on the plane, and numerous seats were taped over to indicate that no one could sit there. Luckily, the plane was nearly empty, and I had an entire row of seats to lie across to sleep on during the flight. It got worse, however.

Somewhere over the Atlantic, a Frenchman decided that it would be a good idea to go into the lav and light up a smoke. That, of course, set off the smoke detector. When the FA’s arrived at the door to investigate, he threw his lit cigarette into the trash, which then proceeded to catch on fire. The fire lasted a couple of minutes before it was fully put out, but the lav was trashed, and the entire plane reeked of smoke. Mr. Frenchman was zip-cuffed (the plastic band-looking things) and then tied to a seat. Luckily, we weren’t diverted since everything was still flyable.

Upon landing in Detroit, Mr. Frenchman was literally lifted off the seat and carried away. We were then allowed to deplane, now 5 hours behind schedule. On the jet way, I immediately noticed a Border Patrol agent with a dog (drug-sniffing, obviously). Now, understand that many of the passengers were (a) tired, (b) non-English speaking, and (c) merely curious. A young man (pre-teens) tried to simply pet the dog, and the BP guy starts SCREAMING, “DON’T TOUCH THE DOG… KEEP MOVING… DON’T TOUCH THE DOG… KEEP MOVING!” On and on. You’d have thought he was Rain Man caught in a feedback loop or something.

Anyone flying in to DTW a few years back will recall that the “foreign flight” terminal was physically separated from the domestic terminal, and you have to take a bus (in the rain that day!) over to the other terminal after clearing customs and collecting your luggage. Anyway, once we arrived in the domestic terminal, we went to the NWA counters to rebook our flight to MSP since, obviously, our original flight left long ago.

Upon getting to the front of the line, I (very politely) explained our situation to the chimp (I mean, customer service representative) at the counter. She pumps out a couple of tickets and hands them to me like fecal matter being thrown at the zoo. It just so happened that directly over the counter were the departure monitors. I looked up and saw, clear as a bell, that the very flight she just put us on was labelled as cancelled. I stopped and told her (again, very politely) that she just booked me on a cancelled flight. She started screaming at me that I was being impossible, that she was getting her supervisor, and she turned on her heels and walked away! A minute later, another chimp (I mean, supervisor) showed up and berated me for yelling at her subordinate. I ramped it up and told her that I had done no such thing, that little-miss-can’t-read-a-computer-monitor had deliberately booked us on a cancelled flight (how on earth would the computer even allow that?), and that all I wanted were 2 seats on a flight to MSP. Folded-hands-across-her-chest supervisor stared at me for a few seconds then started pounding the keyboard. She handed me 2 new passes for a later flight, and I left.

Luckily, that later flight got off without a hitch, but we had to wait at DTW (a real dump) for several hours before finally getting back to MSP late that evening.

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Tagged as: delay & cancellation, dog, lavatory, northwest airlines, police, tobacco

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Loose Dog On A Flight

February 10, 2010

in Animal Stories

We were flying back home to Portland, Oregon from a Thanksgiving holiday visit in Sacramento, California. We were on a small Alaska plane for the short hour and half flight. I was about 6 months pregnant, and was traveling with my husband and my 2 year old daughter. The plane was configured for 2 seats on each side of the aisle. My husband and daughter were on one side of the aisle, I was across from them on the aisle side. As my seatmate boarded, it was clear that she had a small dog in her bag. She had tried to take a shortcut and had put her dog into a regular duffel bag with some mesh lining for breathing instead of an animal carrier. As the plane took off, the flight attendant discovered the dog in the bag because it was barking and loud. The dog began to get more and more upset. The flight attendants were warning the woman that she couldn’t let the dog out to sit on her lap, and had to keep the dog contained in her bag. They were also very upset that she was not using a animal carrier to transport the dog.

As the flight attendants were in the midst of drink service (with the drink cart in the aisle), the dog chewed a hole and escaped from the bag and ran under the seat and towards the front of the plane. The flight attendants had to leave the drink service to try to catch the dog. The dog was racing all over the plane and was visibly freaked out. The woman couldn’t get out to help because we were at the back of the plane. Eventually the dog was captured, but the woman had difficulty keeping the dog in the bag. The flight attendants brought cardboard and duct tape – for her to try to tape up the rip in the bag that the dog had chewed through.

I could no longer sit in the seat because the dog was restless; the woman was almost sitting on the bag on the floor to keep the dog contained. So, I was moved to the empty aisle seat in front of my husband and child.
Unfortunately, it was occupied by a man reading a porn magazine. After discovering this, I clearly showed I was disgusted and tried to communicate non-verbally that I was not pleased. I did not however ask him directly to put away his magazine. It probably wouldn’t have helped; he did not bother to put his magazine away even with quarters close. I ended up turning my body with my legs in the aisle for the remainder of the flight.

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Tagged as: animals, dog, flight attendant, holiday, porno, pregnant

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Yapping Dog

February 1, 2010 Animal Stories

Last year I flew across country from San Diego to Hartford during the holidays. As I was waiting near the gate I noticed woman talking to her dog that she had enclosed in a pet carrier. I didn’t think much of it since pets are allowed on some flights. As soon as the flight took [...]

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Dog Gets Loose On Plane

October 7, 2009 Animal Stories

On a recent flight from BOS to ORD, a passenger asked the FA if they could take their dog out of its carry-on bag and let it sit in their lap. I was shocked when the FA said yes! Needless to say, the dog got loose, ran up and down the aisles and under the [...]

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Dog Escapes Designer Bag

July 10, 2009 Animal Stories

On a flight from Boston to Florida, about a year ago, I saw definitely the weirdest thing I’ve seen happen on a plane. I wouldn’t say it was “hell” exactly, but it was a nuisance. A couple, near the back of the plane, had brought their little dog on the plane. Normal, no biggy. But, [...]

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Filth Worse Than That At A North Dakota Truck Stop Outhouse

April 9, 2009 Flying Hell Commentary

I’m so happy to find this wonderful website, Flights From Hell, stories and commentary by people who matter the least to the airline industry, the passengers. I fly to Asia on a regular basis and am still mourning the loss of Thai airways direct flight to Bangkok from New York’s JFK. It’s amazing to note [...]

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Disabled Yet Denied Dog

April 4, 2009 Animal Stories

I was flying from El Paso to Burbank about a year and a half ago. I travel with a service dog. When I make my airline reservations, I am very clear that I travel with a service dog. My flight from El Paso to Phoenix was cancelled, and *** airlines put me on another flight. [...]

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2008 Flying Hell Year In Review

January 19, 2009 Flying Hell Blog

With the closing of yet another year, it’s that time to look back at the flying hell events that took place in 2008. Increased costs for services increased passenger frustrations. Packed overhead bins, due in part to charges for checked luggage, added to the despair. The TSA came under fire, including from a woman upset [...]

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