children & babies

Just got back from 2 weeks in Hawaii. Here’s just a little hell, given the vacation was paradise. The return Maui (OGG) to San Francisco (SFO) “bus” as I call it left relatively on time. This is an everyday route and you get a wide variety of passengers: partying tourists, islanders off to the mainland, […]

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I just got back from a return flight home after a wonderful holiday on the Mediterranean island of Majorca. A typical holiday destination for us British tourists! This isn’t exactly a flight from hell story but I did experience two rather unusual toilet incidents that I thought I’d submit.

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Boorish Behemoth

April 17, 2013

in Portly Stories

I had one trip that sticks out in my memory. My wife had departed several days early to MCO and our 4 year old daughter and I were following to join her. We had the window and middle seat. I had tried to get first class but was told it was sold out.

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Nineteen seventy-eight, I’m 17 years old, and flying from the US to take my grandfather home to England. He’d had a massive stroke, and needed a great deal of assistance. As his left side was paralyzed, I had to zip him up after he went to the bathroom. Since I was meeting relatives I hadn’t […]

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About two years ago an opportunity came up for me to travel to India through a program with the university that I attended. I was a little nervous about such a long flight, and since I was flying coach I expected it to be a little rough. On the way to India I “lucked out” […]

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Flying Cathay Pacific direct from Hong Kong to Toronto one August. Let’s count all the things that went wrong: 1. I sat behind two babies, next to a couple with two babies, in front of one baby, and to the right of yet another baby across the aisle. None were enjoying their flight.

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I was on a flight from Toronto to Budapest a few years ago, with a stop in Frankfurt. This was on Lufthansa during a strike, so a lot of people were pretty crabby as there was no meal service (they did, however, give out large bags of chips to everyone, and still had beverage service, […]

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Flight from Washington DC to Kuwait City = 12 hours. Although there were several issues leading up to this, I feel that this is the WORST part of the story so I decided to just cut to the chase… After arriving at my gate and waiting to board, I informed a female flight attendant that […]

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Near the end of boarding on our American flight home from the Caribbean the weekend before last, a male flight attendant brings a little girl who appears to be about 8 down the aisle, pauses at her assigned seat, glances at us, and tells the child he thinks she would like it better by us. […]

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My wife, our 14-month old son and I were flying from Baltimore to Los Angeles to visit my family for Christmas. Although we had been semi-frequent fliers, this was our first time flying with a child.

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In May 1989, my son Josh and I were on our way to California to visit his godfather for his twelfth birthday. My son was crazy about all aircraft, knew all the types and specs, had never flown before, and wanted to be a pilot. His godfather was working as a government contractor as a […]

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This past weekend I decided to fly across the United States. Wanting peace and quiet, I opted to pay full fare for first class. Unfortunately I didn’t get what I paid for. 

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