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Vignettes From Heck

January 16, 2011

in Odds & Ends Stories

None of the following vignettes really raise up to a level of “hell,” but they were certainly inconveniences.

The first: In 1977 I was invited to a conference in Lynchburg, VA for high school students. My father arranged the flight through his employer (AT&T). When I went to the airport to fly home, Piedmont had no record of the reservation. I ended up getting the next flight; AT&T ended up blacklisting Piedmont. Note to airlines: Never lose the reservation made by someone who knows the home phone number of the VP who manages the travel department.

The second: In 1985, I was flying to London for the FA Cup Final (their equivalent of the Super Bowl.) Pan Am’s flight was five hours late, and about an hour from landing a passenger vomited, which went down my trouser leg. The flight attendant just gave me a paper towel to clean off. Since the flight was late, I had no opportunity to change before heading off to Wembley. Of course, being a typical football crowd, I’m not sure anyone else noticed.

The third: 1985. Took a date to New Orleans. She dumped me. She told the airline she was afraid to be on the same plane with me. Guess who is ordered to take a different flight? Bad news — this was the last flight of the day into Newark. Ever try to cheaply and quickly get from LaGuardia to Newark at 11PM? No compensation, since I volunteered to leave the flight. The other option was to be arrested…

The fourth: 1996, flying from San Francisco to Newark for my parent’s 40th anniversary. My scheduled flight was canceled, and I was bumped to a middle seat on a red-eye. Six months of back spasms followed that. (And a doctor’s note requiring me to fly business or first class on flights longer than 3 hours.)

The fifth: 1999, flying from Cairo to Nairobi. Guess where the quickest and cheapest connection is? Amsterdam. No problems on the flight itself, just a very bizarre routing.

The sixth: October, 2001. Visiting my parents in New Jersey, it was a bad time for their hot water heater to fail; you look quite scruffy checking into business class when you haven’t showered for a couple of days. Terrorist scruffy…

The last: October, 2002. Paid business class ticket Newark to San Francisco. They changed the type of aircraft, and I ended up bumped to coach. Difference refunded was between the advanced purchase business class ticket, and the full-fare coach. I’ve not flown United since.

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D. C. to Phoenix In Only 24 Hours

November 6, 2009

in Delay Stories

On a flight from Washington D. C. to Phoenix, I experienced a series of fairly normal events that piled up in a comical fashion that resulted in a 24-hour plane flight. It started innocently enough with the plane pulling away from the gate 20 minutes late. We were about fifteenth in line for take-off, so we spent another half-hour or so slowly taxiing our way to the runway. We were about two planes back, when the captain announced that we would be returning to the gate. When we got there, Federal Marshals escorted a father and mother off the plane with their four-day-old infant. Yes, four days old. They had been seated in a two seat row, and the father got irate when he found out that there were only two oxygen masks and he threatened a flight attendant. Since we were still on the ground, the pilot was required to return to the gate and have them arrested. It took half-an-hour to get clearance to leave and we taxied out to wait in line again, and we finally take off about three hours later than we were supposed to.

I had a change of plane in Chicago, but when we got into Chicago airspace we had to circle for about an hour to get a landing spot. Once on the ground, it took another half-an-hour to get a gate. By this time, I’m five hours or so late for my flight to Phoenix, which has long since departed. Everyone on the plane heading to Cedar Rapids and Oshkosh and Billings made their flights, but those of us going to St. Louis, Phoenix, L. A., San Francisco and the like missed our planes, and most of us got a free stay in a hotel.

The next morning, all of the West-bound flights were booked, so I ended up on standby. I got bumped twice and finally got a seat on an 11:00AM flight to Phoenix. The plane pulled away from the gate about 30 minutes late due to a mechanical issue and we taxied about half-way around the airport and got in line for take-off about 20 planes back. We had worked our way up to the front of the line, when the airport closed the runway due to a line of thunderstorms that were in our flight path. We taxied around the airport (and O’Hare is big) to another runway and got in line again. It took another hour to get to the front of the line when the pilot pulled the aircraft out of line and taxied back to the gate. The new take-off heading lengthened our flight path and, with all the taxiing, we didn’t have enough fuel to make it. So, we taxi around the airport again to fuel the plane, then taxied back and got in line for another 40-minute wait. I finally got to Phoenix just about 24 hours after I boarded the plane in D. C. At least my wife and I got free air travel for a vacation out of it.

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Plane Backed Into Poop Truck

October 29, 2009

in Airplane Stories

My wife and I were flying from LAX to Tucson labor day weekend about 8 years ago on Southwest. We were already about 45 minutes late before we finally pushed back from the gate. As I watched outside from my window seat just in front of the wing I saw a ramp attendant running towards the back of the plane flailing his arms violently. It was about 2 seconds later that the plane stopped dead in its tracks and about 150 or so passenger necks slammed against the backs of their seats. We sat there for about 20 minutes before the pilot announced that the gate crew had backed the plane up into a lavatory truck puncturing a hole in the rear stabilizer, therefore grounding the plane. 

One-hundred and fifty groans and another 30 minutes later, we all got off the plane and boarded another plane (bumping all the passengers off of that flight). We were 2 1/2 hours late leaving LAX and got to Tucson with no other problems. I still wonder what ever happened of the gate crew who most likely took it in the POOP shoot…(sorry humor isn’t my specialty).

Larry

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Passenger’s Spirit Defeated

October 12, 2009

in Delay Stories

I arrived at the Spirit Airline counter at 645AM for a 745AM flight to Boston, MA out of Ft Lauderdale. FL. The rep said sorry you are late and we already sold your seat. They offered to book me on a 10 AM flight for a $50.00 fee, so after arguing to no avail that I was on time I agreed to the next flight. My bags were accepted but when I went to the boarding gate at 930 AM I was told that the flight was booked and I was bumped. I started to cry. The next available flight at at 8PM. After yelling at several representatives again to no avail, I was defeated. My husband got off work at 3PM and picked me up.

I came back to the airport at 7pm, 40 miles from my house. The flight at 8pm was delayed until 10 PM. I was numb by this point. We finally boarded. Keep in mind my bags were already sent earlier in the day to Boston. As we taxied down the runway the flight was aborted. A bird had flown into the right engine while we were still on the ground. I did not blame Spirit for this but it was another hour before we were airborne. I arrived in Boston at 230 AM almost 20 HOURS after first arriving the previous day. And my luggage? No where to be found. To make a long story short, I received a call from Spirit Air 10 days later that my suitcase was found in New York and was now in Ft Lauderdale. To make matters worse, I was told that I had to pick up the suitcase as they do not deliver. On top of all this I was still charged a fee for my lost luggage. I will NEVER fly Spirit again.

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Tagged as: animals, baggage, bumping, delay & cancellation, fees, spirit airlines

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Attempting To Get Airborne In Antarctica

May 7, 2009 Odds & Ends Stories

Having done quite a bit of traveling to date, I’ve experienced a number of oopsies, some the airline’s fault, some a passenger’s fault and some simply an act of God. These include getting hit up for a bribe by airport staff in Belem, Brazil in 1989, taking two days to get from Orlando, FL to [...]

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Overloaded & Underserved

October 13, 2008 Airplane Stories

This isn’t my experience, but it was shared with me the other day by a couple I know. They are both disabled and cannot drive, and they were going to a banquet in a city four hours’ drive to the south of ours. They took another friend with them to assist them. They flew American, [...]

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Holy Bovine!

November 16, 2007 Luggage Stories

Air India: Holy Cow! (Pun intended.) I just flew them from Newark to Paris. 1. On arrival, my luggage was delayed by TWO HOURS. 2. On departure, the flight from Paris was delayed by FIVE HOURS, leaving me to miss my connection to SFO. 3. At Newark, I had to spend TWO HOURS waiting on [...]

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