Passenger Languishes in a Lavatory

May 29, 2017

in Odds & Ends Stories

Twenty-five years ago I was on a vacation in Turkey, and even though I had carefully selected the package to include a flight back in the afternoon directly to Bremen, alas luck would not have it.

The flight first was changed to stop in Münster, and then changed to start at 6 am. That meant getting picked up at the hotel at 1 am. So I decided to stay up and wait for the coach. The coach was one hour late; the airport was a mess but I finally boarded a full plane. While on the tarmac I already felt my stomach grumble, and just as we took off it felt as if it was going to explode. Seconds after the seat belt sign was off I was in the lavatory… which I did not leave for four hours of this 4.5 hour flight (no alcohol involved at all). Luckily the FA handed me some water from time to time. So I was pretty tired when we finally landed. I spare you the details, let your imagination flow.

So we came down to Münster (oh, did I mention the flight was delayed by two hours already), and some 10 passengers who continued to Bremen were asked to stay on board while the others left. Then the people flying to Turkey boarded, who were not happy to be told that they were flying via Bremen to Turkey (with a plane already delayed).

This change of passengers took two hours on a 28 degrees C in the shade day… imagine the heat in the plane. It turned out that the guys in Münster had not been informed which seats we Bremen fliers did have. After 30 minutes of, “This is my seat,” “No mine,” and some people close to having fistfights, the captain sorted it out: “Sit down in 10 seconds or get thrown out” were his words.

The flight to Bremen was uneventful, but then came German customs. I can understand them having concern as I must have looked terrible, and I didn’t have the most pleasant smell. And so they searched me down to literally the last sock which took another two hours.

All in all it took me 14 hours in what was planned to be a 4.5 hour trip, and I spent most of the flight time being seriously busy in a lavatory.

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