The Cliched Flight

June 12, 2010

in Passenger Stories

The last flight I took was a painful cliche. I boarded to find myself next to a row on the left with a Indian looking mom/daughter who had no qualms over chit chatting in Hindu non stop, quite loud too. It was hard to believe the other was listening as they were both talking simultaneously…

It was an Airbus A330 which apparently “boasts the quietest cabin in the sky.” That fact alone had me chuckling when in front of me (I was seated on the left aisle in a centre row) were two toddlers shrieking in a way that was genuinely painful. Feeling the beginning of a brain aneurysm, I ordered up two beers over the next hour. I briefly focused my attention on the ceiling mounted TV spewing out an Indian soap, but it was such gibberish I had to stop. All this time a young girl of perhaps 7 directly behind me was repeatedly saying “mama, mama, mama,” trying to get her mom’s attention. I felt for the girl as “mama” was an inconsiderate bitch. Not once did she answer her daughter, which would have been the decent and intelligent thing to do. This went on intermittently for over three hours!

During this time I had ripped open a sealed bag with 70 cl of Scotch whiskey and ordered a plastic cup of ice. We began to descend after 6+ hours. There was only a handful of white folk on the plane and next to me was a Canadian chap who took the opportunity to tell me his life story while I finished the bottle and offered him another shot when I realized it was likely the booze which got him chin-wagging in the first place.

We were delayed landing, circling near the coast, by something unknown. The intercom announcement came on in Arabic and all I heard was “Saddatie wa seddatie” or “Ladies and gentlemen.” Hitting an admittedly rough patch of turbulence, the chit-chatting mom/daughter to my left began to say a rapid fired prayer which honestly made me boil with anger. Here we were on a teeth-grinding routine flight and these women have the nerve to start asking god for help! People might see this as a reason to start worrying, and I found it very inappropriate.

I ripped open a beer I’d kept under my seat which began to foam over the floor and for a moment I considered throwing it over the noisy duo.

The cliche continued well into arrival with a long wait to disembark the packed aircraft. As we began to move up the plane, Indians from the rear began to push and shove their way forward and I had to physically stop a man from literally pushing past me. By this time I was so drunk I could hardly see the stairs they had wheeled up to the plane as we were like a MILE from the damn terminal! Air Arabia. Never again.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

david June 12, 2010 at 4:19 pm

you cant blaim the plane when its the peoples fault, the A330 as well as all the airbus's are quiet and alot quieter then boeing in comparison

its very annoying sitting next to loud people but they have a right to talk and it would be polite of them to keep the volume down a little but its life

bose does some pretty good headphones


Yusifu June 13, 2010 at 2:16 am

It sounds like the real problem was that you were traveling with people of color. And the language is Hindi, not "Hindu." Next time, try KKK Air.


NayNay June 13, 2010 at 2:22 am

You are full of shit and you are a bigot.


Clare June 13, 2010 at 7:55 am

I concur.


jane kuuskraa June 13, 2010 at 4:52 am

Ware noise canceling headphones! I believe ALL flight communication must be in English with the carrier's language being included. I have two relatives who are international pilots and they tell me that the international language of flight is ENGLISH


Rich October 15, 2010 at 4:17 am

That is language that the pilots must use in Air traffic control communications. It has nothing to do with in-cabin announcements.


rerere June 13, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Yes, please do not make fun of the Airbus A330. They are great planes.


Sadamy Bleussein June 13, 2010 at 3:37 pm

That was an awful lot to drink, are you an alcoholic ?


Traytable June 13, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Interesting, according to the Air Arabia website they don't fly any A330's. All their aircraft are narrowbodies and thus you couldn't possibly have been sitting "On the left aisle in a centre row". If you're going to make up a story at least get your facts straight.

(Webmaster, do you even proofread stories for factual errors like this???)


Churba June 13, 2010 at 5:54 pm

Also, I'm pretty sure that Air Arabia also do Dual language announcements – the announce in both English and Arabic. At the very least, they did the last time I flew on them.

Also, opening a 700 ML bottle of scotch on the plane, and somehow hiding this from the FAs and not getting it taken off you? Unlikely, and you'd be fined if you got caught.

Being served unopened alcohol isn't likely, so I'll also assume that you bought your beer duty free – again, as soon as the FA saw it, they'd take it off you.

Last of all – all that you drank in the air, if you drank that much, you'd be lucky not to have passed out completely, and/or died. The effects of alcohol on the body are much greater at the usual cabin pressure when at cruising altitude.

I'm thinking this story has the strong smell of BS about it.


Dina June 14, 2010 at 5:58 pm

I agree.


The Logger June 14, 2010 at 12:47 am

Don't try to do no thinkin'

Just go on with your drinkin'

And keep your whisky breath stinkin'

Just have your fun, you old son of a gun

And drive home in your Lincoln


Tony June 14, 2010 at 2:28 am

Its BLAME david…BLAME. I bet if you were on Sinapore Airlines you would have spelled that correctly.


Laura June 21, 2010 at 1:25 am

G-d forbid someone prays when he or she is scared. Some people actually believe that stuff you know, whatever makes them feel better. OP – You're annoying, bratty and too white, and I hope you sit next to a landwhale on your next flight.

*massive eye roll*


Mel June 11, 2013 at 10:26 am

You don't chat in Hindu… it's a goddamn religion for God's sake.


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