Condom Causes Confusion

January 30, 2010

in Airport Stories

My mother, sister and I fly to Augusta, Maine every summer for a few weeks to visit my grandmother and uncle who have a summer home on a tree farm there. We live in Utah, so naturally it is a long boring flight.

So back in the summer of 2005 I turned 18 and we take the usual annual trip out to Gram’s house. The flight to Maine wasn’t bad; I slept through that one fine but the return trip was where everything went downhill. Good ole Grams dropped us off at the airport, we said our goodbyes, and headed to the line for security. I take off all the metal I had on and shoes and whatnot and finally get a turn to walk through the metal detector. To my surprise it goes off and a security guy kindly walks me to a glass partition where he has me turn my pockets inside out, take off my shoes, and proceeds to wand me. The wand kept beeping around my waist, so he thoroughly checks my waistband and pockets again but it still keeps going off. Now there are two 300 pound body builders dressed in camo as well as a 299 pound sheriff inside the glass room with me looking very uneasy.

My mom and my little sis are watching in shock as the sheriff then searches me still to find nothing. Finally one of the camo muscle heads comes over and starts looking through my clothes; we then find out why the wand keeps beeping on my waist. The tiny little pocket on my jeans right above my right pocket had been overlooked and I had completely forgotten the condom I had in there that just happened to be in an aluminum wrapper. All the officers become extremely uneasy and very quietly asked if my mother knew I had a condom while trying to block her view of it. Of course she did, so we all had a good laugh and went on our way. Luckily the whole time the airport security was very nice and courteous to me.

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

shocked January 30, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Right…so full of bullshit and not true. Your not the first person to go through with condoms or toys. Happens everyday.


JoJo January 30, 2010 at 7:10 pm

I had that happen to me once. I had about a half dozen Love Gloves in my pocket when I went through security in a courthouse. Realizing that they were what caused the metal detector alarm to go off, I pulled them out of my pocket to show the security guys. I then turned around to see who was in line behind me. It happened to be a well-dressed woman who gave me a smirk.


A Mom January 30, 2010 at 7:55 pm

This qualifies as hell? YOU forgot to clean out YOUR pockets and were pulled aside, as you should have been, for a very polite second screening? Then you all laughed and went your merry way? I have to say you are a very lucky young lady to have such a priveleged life. I hope you treasure it.


Smiling Charmer January 31, 2010 at 8:04 am

How do you know the poster is a young lady and not a young gentleman?


Peter February 1, 2010 at 8:33 am

You have got to be kidding me. You talk condescendingly to this person and claim they have a priveleged life. What does that say about you when you have the time to sit on a website and comment about it?


david January 31, 2010 at 8:29 am

oh wow a condom stop the press

so your going to grams and you think your gonna get "lucky" ya sick freak

since you go over there what like once a year i guess, spend time with her and not worry about your sex life one night stands

i guess since it was still in your pocket you didnt have sooo much success, guess it figures since you seem very immature


Sonia January 31, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Oh come on give this guy or girl a break. Many guys will carry condoms in their wallets, sometimes you have small pockets and leave a folded dollar bill or coin in it and never even notice. And if its a girl so what? it is embarrassing I agree, but I think its funny, and shouldn't be judged about the condom or not.

Maybe he or she has a fling with some sort of summer love up in Maine, who knows :p ?


A Mom January 31, 2010 at 4:49 pm

Guy or girl, this forum is for flights from hell. If the worst story you can come up with is this, you have a priveleged life. Period. Who cares if they "scored" at grams or not? Not the point of this site.


Demotage January 31, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Geez! Why all the bile in the comments? It's a cute little story. The OP didn't do anything wrong, just forgot it was in the pocket. As for the fact that the OP has sex…….what care of that is yours? The only thing I found odd about this story was the "of course" that his/her mother knew about the condom. Some people wouldn't tell their mom, and some moms would rather not know.


NavyChick27 February 10, 2010 at 12:43 pm

I agree, this was a cute story. It's nice every once and a while to read something that ISN'T someone B*tching about FA's, Body Odors, or other somesuch. The fact that the mother knew about the condom shows that she is at least helping her child be responsible when it comes to sex. I too would probably have had a little giggle about this had it been me.


Tim February 1, 2010 at 6:37 am

When I was young and dumb I used to smoke pot. I forgot the one hitter I was using in my pocket. And there stands my dad and his new wife as I'm setting off the metal detector. and there goes my brother running like the wind, he knew I had it he was the one that wanted a couple of hits before we got on. Anyway got down to to last metal thing on me (the one hitter) and just kind of put my arm over it when I walked through (no beep). Talk about sweating bullets. Morel of the story don't smoke pot it makes you stupid.


Kad February 1, 2010 at 10:57 pm

A couple of things I liked about this post.

Maine to Utah is NOT a long flight.

Taking all the 'metal' off? I'm thinking piercings. Hence the protection (condom). You never know when the feeling might strike. Sounds like a modern household you live in.

I wish the breeders who create children to live off the system would learn by example. Use protection. You don't need to have 10 kids in one lifetime.

As others have noted, cute story.


Dr. Sex Potato February 16, 2013 at 2:50 am

Ha! Good story.


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