Two Separate Snot Stories

November 2, 2009

in Illness/Medical Stories

I had to fly out West for a meeting with some colleagues about a web site Meeting went well, boarded the red-eye to head back to NY. I was seated next to a 60ish year old man in the dirtiest sport coat you’ve ever seen. He smelled like sour milk, but it gets better. Shortly after the drink service came around, he started clearing his throat. Not just the little tickle – big phlegm filled coughing and snorting followed by spitting into the clear drink cup sitting on his tray.

He proceeded to deposit at least 5 ounces of spit and phlegm in the cup during our flight back East. And as luck would have it there wasn’t a single empty seat to move to. I was stuck.


My flight from hell has seared an imprint in my mind which rivals no other. I have always felt as if there was a clandestine tribe of microorganisms attempting a coup d’état of my health. And so, a flight next to a sniffling, coughing, and phlegm projecting adolescent was less than thrilling. In the midst of one of my holding my breath routines I received a wad of snot which cannoned from the kid. The snot tunneled into my eat canal and lounged there. The wad had a mellifluous flow and eased out of my ear like molasses. However some remnants wouldn’t flow out and I had utilize my pinkie finger as a makeshift scooping device. Fun times!

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Hugh November 3, 2009 at 1:26 am

So, my question…was it a 60ish man or an adoloscent??? This casts doubt on your entire story. I know that people liek this exist, I have been seated next to, behind, in front of them. If whining, I mean writing about them, I wouldn't confuse a 60 year old man with an adolescent. Seems fishy.


Gregg - admin November 3, 2009 at 3:13 am

They're two separate stories, Hugh, which is noted in the title, but additionally they were written by two separate authors which I should have also noted.

I'll sometimes combine short stories that are similar in topic, but perhaps I should post them individually. What do you think?


D-Money November 3, 2009 at 4:51 am

It's easier to insult multiple authors with one comment when the stories are combined.

It makes me wonder why people bother posting stories at all, when they're just going to be insulted and called a liar.


Josh November 3, 2009 at 5:12 am

I've sat next to a person like that before. It ruins the whole experience, imo.

@ Hugh. Do you ever post anything positive or constructive? I haven't been here long, I'm just wondering what to expect if I ever post a story.


Hugh November 3, 2009 at 7:12 am

I apologize, I hadn't realized they were two stories, even though looking now, it clearly states so. D'oh! Josh…yes, I do post positive comments, but I will throw a BS flag when/if I see it. If you have stories, please post, I'm sure we would all enjoy hearing them. Again, my apologies for not realizing they were two stories.


uhhuh November 13, 2009 at 9:35 am

nice OBVIOUS plug for the website at the beginning of the first story.

*rolls eyes


patsytp February 5, 2016 at 3:19 am

Not flying related, but whilst working for a major mining company in WA (Australia), my office was only a door ajar from the Korean engineers brought in to work on the project… they constantly did the "hock and spit" to the point that my office door had to be closed for my own sanity and also for clients I was talking to on the phone….. I have never heard anyything so vile in my life… I totally get that different cultures "do things differently", but those POSCO workers didn't plan on ever adopting the Australian adaptation of "blowing your nose into a tissue". They may have been excellent engineers, but I declined the chance of a dinner with them, since they had denied me of so many lunches.


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