Flights From Hell flies you into the crazy skies with stories about the adventures and anxieties of airplane travel.
Commercial airline travel takes us far, far out of our comfort zone. We're herded into cylinders that zip hundreds of miles per hour at 30,000 feet, subjected to security screenings, confronted with delays and lost luggage, rushed to catch connecting flights, constrained to small seats, scrunched up with strangers, and surrounded by pathogens. Is it any wonder we end up becoming a bundle of raw nerves by journey's end?
While living in Guyana in the late 70′s with my family on US government business, my father and I had to travel to Matthew’s Ridge. The trip out on Guyana Airways was fine despite a plane change as the first one had a mechanical issue and the second had to be fueled from 55 gal drums with a hand pump. But the return trip was an eye opener.
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I have done a lot of traveling and for the most part haven’t had any major issues, other than delays and missed connections. I have been on a couple of flights that were an absolute nightmare.
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Whenever I fly, I pay extra for the exit row since I am 6’5″ tall. I also always book the aisle seat in that row. I try to fly business or first class but that is not always an option. As I was in the gate area I hear an elderly woman on her cell phone saying that she had a window seat and had tried to get it changed to an aisle one but none were available. So she said she would appropriate one and had a plan to deal with the inevitable result. I surmised she would pull the confused old person thing.
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So, I was boarding a flight from a great vacation at Disney in Orlando. After having such a great time nothing could get me down…or so I thought! I was riding premium economy on JetBlue to JFK then BOS. Once we boarded and got settled, there was a strange looking man sitting behind me. The pilot came over the intercom and stated that we had a “brake malfunction” and it would take around one whole hour to fix it!! I was livid. Then to make things worse they started to check all the kid’s tickets, then they walked to the strange man behind me and checked his ticket… he was definitely not a child – he was in his mid 40′s.
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I was flying back to Boston from a whirlwind week in Southeast Asia for a destination wedding in the Philippines– a four flight journey, including three consecutive nights on airplanes. On my way to the tropical island for the wedding, one of the plane’s two turboprop engines failed (over water) – leading to an emergency landing over an hour and a half from the original airport. I figured since I had survived engine failure, getting back to Boston would be comparatively easy.
Boy was I wrong.
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During Thanksgiving weekend 2009 I was flying back to my home after a visit with family in Midland, Texas. Going through security, I removed my jewelry and shoes and put them in bins and then put my purse in another bin. I was wearing a velour jogging suit with a sports bra underneath. I was told by the TSA agent that I had to remove my jacket and put it in a bin. I said what jacket, this is my top not a jacket. She said it was considered a jacket because it zipped up the front. I said it does not have a hood and I have only my sports bra on underneath. She informed me that was my problem and I could either take it off and place it on the belt or go wait over “yonder” until someone had the time to mess with me, because she did not! Yes, she actually said it just like that!
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After many years of enduring being treated like some criminal for trying to fly, I have decided to take the train.
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I had one trip that sticks out in my memory. My wife had departed several days early to MCO and our 4 year old daughter and I were following to join her. We had the window and middle seat. I had tried to get first class but was told it was sold out.
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Train Better than Plane
April 19, 2013
in Flying Hell Commentary
After many years of enduring being treated like some criminal for trying to fly, I have decided to take the train.
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