Lodged Tightly Between Flesh And Fuselage

July 12, 2009

in Portly Stories

I had to grab a last minute flight from Raleigh, NC to Birmingham, AL with a change of flights in Charlotte, NC. U.S. Air at the time was flying Fokker 100s for the short hop between RDU and CLT. The Fokker had 20 rows of seating with 2 seats on the left and 3 on the right. Due to my last minute ticket, I was stuck in seat 20A. This is technically a “Window seat” although due to the engine being mounted outside, there is no window and the fuselage tapers off so my head was hitting the ceiling/wall when I sat.

Since nobody was in 20B, I had the arm rest up and was planning to slide over to the isle as soon as the door was closed. Just then, the last passenger got on the plane. As soon as I saw her, I knew I was doomed. She was all of 400 lbs, dressed in a business suit and working her way down the isle. When she squeezed into 20B, I was literally lodged tightly from my shoulders down to my knees between her flesh and the fuselage. The flight attendant had to bring her TWO seatbelt extenders/demonstration belts so she could use both in order to get her seatbelt fastened.

Thank god it was only a 20 minute flight! At the time I remember thinking that if we crashed, I was either going to be cushioned by the mass of flesh enveloping me, or I would be shot out like a cork from a bottle and become a deadly projectile hurtling across the aircraft.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Atari August 13, 2009 at 10:27 am

Hahahah! Excellent story! Loved the build up and ultimate conclusion. Very entertaining.


Kyle April 1, 2011 at 10:44 am

LOL Love it


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