Automatic Gas Emissions

August 4, 2008

in Odor Stories

On my 10 1/2-hour international flight, I got stuck behind a man who dealt silent-but-deadly farts at regular intervals. It was about every fifteen or twenty minutes. I could almost set my watch on it. What’s more, he would look around before, during and after each one. My entire row was a little bit green around the gills by the time the flight was over.

It was like a very gross version of those air fresheners that you can set to spray every few minutes.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Richard April 2, 2009 at 9:07 am

I think that guy could do a gig at one of our national parks imitating a geiser!


david w April 2, 2009 at 9:23 am

the case of farticus erupticus is quite natural holding it in on that length of flight is unreasonable and potentially damaging to the person attempting to do so further more, the person likely was digesting beans, vegetables and/or fruit, all of which are essential for health


Earl April 2, 2009 at 10:56 am

I say if you are goijng tp bust ass, be proud and lay claim to it, do not be ashamed of your talent


huh April 2, 2009 at 11:56 am

So, uh, what about global warming


Bonnie April 2, 2009 at 12:07 pm

How about all the Women that put on so much perfume they reek of it? I don't know why they have to soak in the entire bottle and then you have to sit by them smelling it the entire flight.


me April 2, 2009 at 1:21 pm

who ever smelt it, dealt it. so i find you, the OP, guilty!


GasMaster April 2, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Was that on Tokyo to Minn/St. Paul? It might have been me doing the dealing. Bwahahahahaha

Seriously though, sometimes you gotta let 'em rip, or else you'd be hitting the bathroom every fifteen minutes.


huh April 3, 2009 at 5:36 am

Now theres a market niche to exploit in this depressed economy! Become an in-flight fart-huffer. Its the next best thing to legalizing drugs. Develop a reality show in which you pinpoint foreign cultures via blindly smelling global villagers' flatulence.


Brown Cloud April 3, 2009 at 4:33 pm

I have flown many times from the middle east back home to the US. The food and water in *&^%istan is enough to cause most people problems. Many times, I swear I could have inflated the life jacket through the seat, probably sounded like I was doing duck calls in the Grand Canyon.


Jimmy Mac April 5, 2009 at 8:37 pm

Take some "Beano" when you fly.


nicole April 6, 2009 at 4:59 am

Farting is natural, but when you know you're having a problem like that GO TO THE BATHROOM!


Paul April 7, 2009 at 9:51 pm

LOL. sorry i cant help laughing. but i know exactly what you mean. enzmye pills should help with bloating..although as loud as the airplane is, the person next to me made a loud fart in their sleep. i tried refrain from laughing, but couldnt help it. the good thing the person was still sleeping or pretending to be


Carl April 9, 2009 at 11:40 am

I wish I could do that.


Amit April 16, 2009 at 10:03 am

If flatulence is rotten smelling, it's usually an indication that it is time to hit the bathroom. Pretty nasty of him not to take care of it.


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