tobacco

Boozed-Up Passenger with Nasal Problems

March 12, 2011

in Passenger Stories

To get from Munich to Bangkok – choosing the cheapest option – you have to make a stop. Ours was in Dubai. Anyone who stops in Dubai Airport and is one of the few people who are still smoking: It is hell! There are two Smoker Rooms – both packed with people every minute of the day. But there is a little paradise called “Irish Pub,” where one can get a nice cider and can somehow be provided with a bit of dignity while smoking…

While sipping on our cider and chatting about our plans in Asia, a pretty drunken and tanned man in his late 40s came up to us – of course – because he heard us talking in Austrian dialect and he himself is from Austria too. That’s sometimes reason enough to talk to strangers, I think. However, he was telling us about his early retirement and his journeys around the world. He was also travelling to Thailand where “there are the most beautiful and horniest women in the world.” Although we enjoyed our little Irish paradise, we didn’t enjoy our new company and we left, even though we had one more hour until we had to check in.

Of course the guy sat in the same plane, in the same row, but he was separated from us by the middle seats. He waved and shouted some jokes about the Thai women and we ignored him, embarrassed about his condition and his “friendship” with us. Two hours after departure and some drinks later, he was shouting at the flight attendant – I couldn’t understand what the problem was really. He was pretty intoxicated at that time. But it must have been something about alcohol and the lack of it, I guessed.

As the flight continued he was blowing his nose pretty loudly – into his hands. He wiped them on the seat in front of him, over and over again. It seemed as though it didn’t have the required effect because he then put his hand back in his throat. The passenger right next to him looked in disbelief, disgust and helplessness, alternately at him, at us and at the flight attendants. Luckily for him, the Austrian guy stood up and was away for half an hour. I found him when I had to go to the toilet. He was in one of the cabins with his pants down, asleep and with the door open, snoring.

A flight attendant brought him back to his seat before the plane landed. He was blowing his nose again. In his hands.

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Tagged as: alcohol, sexuality, tobacco

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Cigar Smoking Passenger Pollutes Plane

November 6, 2010

in Passenger Stories

Believe it or not, back in the sixties smoking cigarettes was allowed on airplanes in the United States. Passengers and flight staff would breath in polluted air and reek of smoke when they disembarked from the plane. Yet no one thought anything of it because so many people smoked back then. I think that cigar smoking, however, was frowned upon.

I was a kid then and remember boarding a U.S. flight during which a businessman who sat in front of me in the bulkhead row lit up a large cigar. Thick clouds of smoke filled the air as he puffed on the stogie. It wasn’t long before a flight attendant politely asked him to put the cigar out. The smoker ignored the request and kept puffing away. The FA asked him again to put it out. The smoker angrily refused to do so. Finally the FA sternly said to the smoker, “If you don’t put the cigar out you’ll be arrested when we land.” That got his attention and he extinguished the cigar.

Some years later the airlines started assigning designated smoking sections. It wasn’t until the 1980s that legislation was passed to ban smoking on domestic flights, although I believe it was only for flights of 2 hours or less.

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Tagged as: flight attendant, tobacco

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Shady Character And Baggage Bungle

April 26, 2010

in Passenger Stories

I have always flown on Southwest Airlines for my travel needs. So when I found out I had to fly on Delta for a business conference, I was not exactly thrilled. Aside from having to pay for my luggage (yes, even carry-ons), I never really cared for their hospitality.

I was flying from Tampa, FL to Atlanta, GA, and from Atlanta to Huntsville, AL. The first one hour-and-something flight was fine, save for a slight delay. However, the second hourlong flight was TERRIBLE.

First, Delta has assigned seating. I always choose window seats; it’s not everyday one gets to see his world in miniature. So, naturally, I was a little bit upset that my seat was already occupied. I was about to ask for him to move, but decided not to when I saw that the man looked… shady, to say the least. Not wanting to mess up the seating assignments any further, I took the seat next to him/mine. No sooner did I sit down was I presented with an awful, almost illegal smell. The man smelled and looked like he just smoked a pack of cigarettes, at least a few blunts, and then topped it off with a few swigs of whiskey.

I was not sitting for more than a few minutes and I was completely overwhelmed with his stench. I was afraid I would show up at my meeting with bloodshot eyes and reeking of smoke.

After leaving the gate, the flight attendant removed two small children from the front two seats, leaving them empty. Seeing no one else sit there, I decided to make my move to the front. I settled in, and thought that I would have a smoke-free flight. However, the attendant jumped up, telling me I had to immediately return to my seat, and that the other children were moved for weight reasons. Horrified, I returned to my seat next to the shady man, and he stared at me like he knew why I left.

However, the attendant saw that I was only a few seats back, and told me I could return to the front, thinking I had come from the back of the plane. At last, I could enjoy the trip in peace!

The rest of the flight was enjoyable, more or less. It was the longest hour and 3 minute flight of my life, though with the time change THE ENTIRE ORDEAL LASTED NOT LONGER THAN THREE MINUTES…

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So now I am returning from the aforementioned business trip on Delta Airlines. Thankfully, the return trips were less eventful. I got an extra hour and a half delay added to my three hour layover in Atlanta, and they moved my gate down about 10 numbers.

I did not think twice about the gate change until I finally got home to Tampa. My bag was not waiting for me there. Groggily I went to the Lost Baggage department, who told me that my bag decided to see the World’s Fair IN SEATTLE for a few extra days without me. He said this happened because of the gate change.

Two very long days later, my bag showed up at my doorstep, in worse condition than I left it in. It was searched and all of my items, cloths, books, souvenirs, etc were thrown about, some damaged, and spilled about the bag. Needless to say, I had to buy new luggage.

And to think, Delta charged me (and everyone else) $15 for any type of bag.

I can’t wait to go to my conference again next year.

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Tagged as: baggage, delay & cancellation, delta airlines, fees, flight attendant, odor, seats, tobacco

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Memorable Flights From Hell

March 21, 2010

in Odds & Ends Stories

Where to begin? I’ve been flying for business and pleasure for more than 27 years and have had so many flights from hell that I can’t count them. A few of the more memorable ones follow:

When the smoking ban first went into place, a drunk boarded the plane from Philadelphia to Pittsburgh and proceeded to scream throughout the entire flight that “I wish this plane would crash. All I want is a cigarette and you won’t let me have one.” The flight attendant’s response: give him a few free drinks.

The morning flight from Pittsburgh to Los Angeles started out great. I was seated in the bulkhead of first class with no one beside me. US Air placed an 18-year-old (he told me his age) stand-by passenger in that seat and then served him wine. Good idea! Serve a minor! When he stood up to go to the bathroom, he knocked the glass of red wine over onto my white shirt and tan pants. Nothing like ruining your clothing to get the week started off right.

We were flying from Lima, Peru, to Cuzco on Aero Continente. The flight was delayed for more than four hours due to “weather.” I guess a perfect, cloudless day counts as bad weather in Peru. The flight attendants arrived and looked like they had spent the night participating in a sleep-deprivation study. While we waited to board, a man pushed a cart across the tarmac to the aging 727 that was to be our aircraft. He used a step ladder to get up on the wing where he opened a hatch and poured quarts of oil into the hole. We kept telling ourselves “727s are good, reliable, safe airplanes.” As we flew over the Andes, I kept thinking about that infamous soccer team. A few weeks after we got back to the USA, I read an article in the paper that said Aero Continente was no longer allowed to fly into the United States because of their abysmal safety record.

Then there were the flights in Papua, New Guinea. The flight from Alotau to Port Moresby was delayed by several hours because the pilot couldn’t land in Alotau because he couldn’t see the runway. He went back to Port Moresby and waited for the fog to clear. Alotau has no radar of any sort. Flying from Port Moresby to Cairns, Australia, the flight attendant went up and down the aisle spraying from a can of insect repellent.

And then there’s Air Aruba. They keep changing their name and I’m not sure what it is now. The first time, I was to meet up with my dive buddy in Tampa but her flights got delayed so we said we would meet in Aruba. Air Aruba left ten minutes early. I was on the plane to Bonaire. She was not. I was told in Bonaire that she would be on the flight that arrived in Bonaire at 6:30 the next morning. I went to the airport to pick her up. No flight. I questioned the Air Aruba employees as to when the flight would arrive. “Soon” was their only answer. At around 11 a.m., they told me that they had forgotten but they no longer had a 6:30 arrival and she would be in at 10:30 p.m. Going home from Bonaire, they got us to Aruba late and told us that the flight to the US had already left. They took us to a hotel to spend the night and catch the first morning flight back to the US. After an hour at the hotel, they came and got us, telling us that we had to hurry because they did have an afternoon flight to the US and if we didn’t get on it, they couldn’t guarantee that we would get home. How can an airline not know its own schedule?

The second Air Aruba snafu was returning from Bonaire again. They got us to Curacao and then told us that they weren’t going to Aruba. Our flight to the US left from Aruba, not Curacao. After a long time at the counter, they found a way to get us to Miami and gave us “vouchers” for Delta from Miami to Atlanta to Pittsburgh. I thought this was weird since we were using award tickets from US Air. Sure enough, Delta said the vouchers were not worth anything and since Air Aruba had taken our paper tickets on US Air, we were left with nothing to get us home. Luckily, US Air was good enough to get us back to Pittsburgh, accepting my story, premier status, and their previous experience with Air Aruba as collateral.

I have many more but these are my most memorable.

- Elizabeth

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Tagged as: aero continente, air aruba, alcohol, flight attendant, missed flight, pilot, tobacco, US airways, weather

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Return From Paris Is A Nightmare

March 10, 2010 Odds & Ends Stories

A while back, my wife (then my girlfriend) and I were in Paris on vacation. We had a wonderful time (even managed to get “bumped” to 1st class on the flight over the pond from MSP 10 days earlier). Well, we reported to CDG in plenty of time for our return flight to Detroit (MSP [...]

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Clandestine Tobacco Chewer

March 1, 2010 Passenger Stories

A couple of years ago, I sat next to a guy who chewed a wad of tobacco for the entire flight. He would spit into a water bottle every couple of minutes, and hide the bottle between his legs when a stewardess would walk by. Utterly disgusting…

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Sloshed Spouse Creates Chaos

February 5, 2010 Couples Stories

My husband is the worst air-traveler; he doesn’t follow the rules and always wears the most security-risking, time-consuming accessories and shoes. After 25 years of trying to convince him there’s a better way, he still dresses like this when flying. This flight from hell actually took place after the flight, and took place just before 9/11. [...]

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Smokers + Child On Lap + Long Flight = Total Wreckage

January 6, 2010 Baby & Kid Stories

I can laugh about it now, but it wasn’t funny at the time. Several years back, while in the Navy stationed in Japan, my wife, my nearly 2 year old daughter and I, flew home to Providence RI for vacation. To save money, we elected to hold my daughter in our lap, instead of paying [...]

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Delayed, Detained & Stuck By A Chatty Cowboy

December 21, 2009 Odds & Ends Stories

So I was in Denver visiting my boyfriend. My United flight was supposed to leave Denver for OKC at 7:30 p.m. The flight was delayed until 10:00 p.m. Okay, I could deal with that. When we finally boarded the plane we sat there for an hour; I guess they had to refuel. After we finally [...]

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Rowdy Russian Flight

December 11, 2009 Airplane Stories

Years ago on a flight from Chicago to Moscow, I flew the Russian airline in an attempt for not only cost savings, but to have the ill-thought thorough “authenticity” of my Russian experience. Over the next 12 hours I settled in at the back of the plane to try to get some sleep to try to dwindle down the [...]

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