Jabba Look-Alike Smells Up Airplane

October 6, 2010

in Portly Stories

On a flight from Miami to St. Croix, touching off a one week trip during which time I contracted a bug of some sort and felt set to puke 24/7, a man with the approximate physique of Jabba the Hutt boarded the plane and sat in the row behind me. Twenty minutes into the flight he fell asleep and promptly proceeded to blast farts every five minutes or so, often accompanied by snoring and grunting. I could have set a clock to it.

For the next 2.5 hours I was treated to a constant miasma of ass, worse than any BO or fart odor that I had previously encountered in my life… and being no stranger to public transport, it’s a pretty long list. Jabba the Hutt did not seem to acknowledge his work upon landing, where he woke up and waddled off the plane as if nothing had ever happened. I couldn’t get rid of the smell until I had a chance to shower that night.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

crella October 7, 2010 at 12:10 am

I feel for you, it happened to me on an Osaka-Detroit flight, some Chinese guy across the aisle…he couldn't stop, and was laughing by the end of the flight….the rest of us weren't though.


Ron October 8, 2010 at 3:12 am

I applaud your use of the term 'miasma'. lol


crella October 17, 2010 at 7:18 pm

Yes, indeed.


Kirsten July 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm

1) how was he supposed to be aware of it if he was asleep throughout?
2) I think your statement that you couldn't get rid of the smell until you had a shower is a complete lie


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