A Bumpy Ride With Ms. Big Mouth

April 2, 2010

in Odds & Ends Stories

Okay, just want to say that this was a little while ago, so the details are still fuzzy.

I was on a flight out of Atlanta, flying on (Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Bingo) airlines, which I will never fly again. My mom and I got on the plane, like normal people. Little did I know that we were in for a Magical Mystery Flight with the Angry Fat Giant sitting behind us. This story could likely go in many categories.

So anyway, we got on the plane and were informed that there would be some slight turbulence on our way to La Guardia. We had to land in Kentucky to pick up a couple more passengers. We get airborne and the trouble begins. We were in for an annoying/bumpy/nerve-racking ride.

The turbulence began and the woman behind us started up. “Why is it so bumpy!! This is going to make me EFFING throw up!” or something along those lines. So we landed in Kentucky and picked up the extra passengers, then we took off to more profanity from the mass of lard in the seat behind us, and more turbulence that would make you want to free-fall to the airport instead.

So as we are approaching La Guardia, the captain says that we need to circle the airport for a little while because of high winds and wet runways. We were circling for about 45 minutes when the captain says that we don’t have enough fuel to continue to circle. So, we are diverted to Pennsylvania to fill up the tanks.

When we land, there are no gates open and few gates meant for heavies, so we sit on the taxiway for one hour while an underloaded gas truck fills us up with JUST enough fuel to fly back to La Guardia. The bubbling mass in the seat behind us was starting to get furious. “The least they could do is give us some PEANUTS!” But our flight was supposed to be a one hour and thirty minute flight, so no food was offered. She was screaming and cursing and a flight attendant made her stop talking. She responded with an “I wasn’t cursing.” Babies were crying, and it was an overall terrible flight.

We ended up landing in New York with a Bump and a small skid you could feel through the armrests. We got off okay, but the experience remains in my head, not as clear as it was, but there.

I apologize for the possible bad grammar and bad structuring, but I’m not feeling well. Continue Posting, Flight-From-Hellers.


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Salsmandra April 2, 2010 at 2:41 am

I feel for you. Annoying people


joe kerr April 17, 2010 at 2:58 am

the stout person behind ,must have been feeling uncomfortable….cramped,sweaty ,and possibly hungry


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