Bratty Brits Interrupt Sleep

September 25, 2009

in Baby & Kid Stories

On a non-stop flight from London’s Gatwick to Minneapolis, I was exhausted after a whirlwind 10-day trip to England, my first time over The Pond. All I wanted to do was sleep. Unfortunately, I didn’t remember ear plugs. I also had the misfortune to sit in front of and across the aisle from two little English boys and their father. (The mother was apparently seated further away.) The boys were about 6 and 8. The one boy behind me kept kicking the back of my seat. After about 10 minutes, I was ready to scream. I would be just dozing off and he would start kicking. The other fidgety brat kept tapping on his plane seat arm. The father kept admonishing the two boys to stop, threatening them each time with, “Be good….or I’ll tell Mummy!” in his upper-crust-sounding British accent. I absolutely love an English accent, but after hearing the father threaten his kids for the umpteenth time to tell “Mummy,” I was ready to tell Mummy myself, come hell or high water!

The kids apparently had their father well-trained and knew that he wouldn’t carry through on his threat to “tell Mummy.” I tried to sleep while all of this was going on. I don’t know who I was ready to scream at: the father or the kids. Finally, I turned to the father and said, while looking him straight in the eye, that if his kids didn’t stop tapping and kicking, I would spank them. The father looked aghast at me, opened his mouth to say something, and promptly shut it. He turned to the boys and echoed what I had told him. There was not a peep out of him, and the boys stopped their little “activities” for the rest of the trip. Ahhhhh… sleep at last!

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Demotage September 25, 2009 at 9:52 pm

I love the father's reaction. He wanted to tell you off, but then he thought "wait! I can use this to shut them up!"



Bratty Brit who hate September 26, 2009 at 8:13 am

You think that by threatening violence against small children that that's a good example? Wake up, Mr Bully American. Good for these kids – I can't tell you how many flights I've taken which have been disrupted by noisy, fat, stupid Americans with their ignorant, braying voices.


Kyle March 30, 2011 at 2:54 am

First off: I'm english
I'm a kid
and second off:
I know that US and UK both have lots of children
and also bad children
and finally:
who gives a sh** about who they are, if they kick seats, and act like brats i would buy them a seat on the wing that is bolted down with rusty bolts.


Demotage September 26, 2009 at 10:08 am

Didn't say it was a good example. I said the father thought about telling the author off, and then decided he could use it. 'Kids, you know I would never spank you, but who knows what this terrible boogey-person might do?"

But you have a point. I can't tell you how many dinners I've had ruined by British chefs and and the pig-dogs frequenting their restaurants who's mothers were hamsters and fathers smelt of elderberries. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!


DSD September 27, 2009 at 5:49 am

How ironic though, that it worked…

Personally I think I would have taken the path of "if you don't tell Mummy, the next time that kid kicks my seat I will go find Mummy and tell her myself."

Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose on you, you and all your silly English kannnnniggets.


saw September 27, 2009 at 9:50 am

Ok… two things here.. no… three…

1 – if you were sitting "in front of and across the aisle from" these children, how were they managing to kick the back of your seat?

2- Likely a better thing to would be to ask "daddy" how he was able to satisfy "mummy" enough to get two boys out of it if he didn't have a pair of balls to start with…


3- They used to call spanking "discipline". Now they call it "abuse". I like the world better when it was "discipline"…


Demotage September 27, 2009 at 10:18 am

Thou shall not count to 2, unless one proceedeth directly to 3, nor shall one count to four. Five is right out………


saw September 27, 2009 at 1:08 pm

Demo… I don't think the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch would make it past the TSA screeners… But then… who knows… You could make an argument that EVERYTHING from those days carried traces of fertilizer…


Demotage September 27, 2009 at 8:38 pm


If you look at the TSA website, you'll see that they make an exception for the Holy Hang Grenade of Antioch, for there is no other way of dealing with with nasty, big, pointy teeth.


Plaineir March 5, 2011 at 9:33 pm


Sorry, couldn't help but laugh. :'D


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