The Wicked Witch And Her Evil Monkeys

July 4, 2009

in Baby & Kid Stories

It was an unforgettable flight. The wicked witch boarded the plane with her two evil monkeys. I knew it when we made eye contact I was the unlucky soul to be blessed with the family’s presence. Unluckily they crammed into the seats behind me; the “father” was there too. It was a flight from DC to Tempe. The kind of flight that’s never ending, across time zones, and shuteye is a must.

The monkeys immediately start fighting and spitting at each other. The “parents” ignore them happily. Everyone on the plane but the ‘rents are bothered by these untamed animals. My eyes are burning red with rage as the female monkey bucks at my seat from behind with her feet, making a constant thud …thud…thud…thud…I’ve tried to rest my head against the window but can’t focus. They start gaming. I lose much needed sleep. The monkeys screech louder and louder – the witch tosses them treats to keep them high on sugar. The female monkey begins to kick at me again with her feet, I try to fight back with the recline button. A temporary fix. Until the food cart comes and they get louder…

I get antsy as this can’t be happening to me. Why isn’t anyone doing anything to stop them? The parents ignore the noise. Ignore the kicking. I start thrashing my head back and forth no…. NO. I finally do a 180 degree roundabout death stare and glare down the witch. She sees me and says nothing; whispers softly to the female monkey who again, temporarily, stops drumming my seat. But only momentarily, it starts again. I lose it. I become “that guy.” I swing around like the Tin Man and heartlessly tell the animal to “STOP IT.” Loud enough that my neighbors can hear me and now fear me as I grind my teeth and give everyone beady eyes. Everyone.

I get off the plane but can’t help shake my head at the parents and mutter something about parenting skills. I can’t believe them.

It was a four day trip for me. When leaving Tempe, I get back on the plane to go back to DC happily because no flight could have been worse than the previous flight with the family from hell. Then I look up again and my head starts thrashing again…no…. I do a double take in disbelief my eyes pop OUT OF MY HEAD and my jaw falls to the ground. To my dismay the same family is coming down the aisle. The wicked witch smiled at me and I broke down…

Signed, Stacy

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah July 3, 2009 at 8:13 pm

What are the odds?? Unbelievable! Sorry you had to relive that!


aaron July 4, 2009 at 3:14 am

Another vote for infant/child sections on planes.


Laura July 6, 2009 at 10:15 pm

oh lucky you! hope you were seated far far away…


Anomia July 8, 2009 at 7:08 am

I would have said, "If those rotten little beasts give me any trouble, they'll be flying tied to the wings. Got it?? OR else you will be!"

I LIKE kids, I do. It's the parents I can't stand sometimes!


Anon July 30, 2009 at 12:38 pm

I like the descriptions of the family. Sorry you had to go through that!


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