vomit

On Wednesday my family and I took a flight from Baltimore-Washington International (BWI) to Germany. I hate flying, and have awful anxiety about it, so I decided to take a Valium that I got from the doctor.

Earlier in the week, my brother caught the flu and was sick. We were all worried we would get sick for this flight (it was approximately 7 hours), so we Lysoled everything he touched and used a lot of hand sanitizer. After feeling perfectly fine all week, I had not a touch of nausea at all until 3 hours into the flight. I started sweating (and it was freezing on the plane) and felt sick to my stomach. I went to the lavatory and nothing happened, but I felt better after getting up and walking. I sat back down for about 20 minutes and suddenly, with no warning, threw up all over myself. Thankfully I was around my family and no one else saw me throw up. We got a flight attendant and she gave me a bag and some towels to try to clean myself up. My jeans were covered in poorly cleaned up vomit for the remaining 4 hours.

I’m not sure if I had a bad reaction to the Valium, or got the bug that my brother had, but I’m fine now. It was probably the single most embarrassing moment of my life. (Sorry if this was gross or TMI.)

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For a few years now I’ve had plantar fasciitis in both feet, and problems with both my Achilles tendons as a result of a running injury. Generally I know how to minimise the problems and they have little effect on my day-to-day life, unless I’ve been on my feet a lot. Earlier this summer, I was on antibiotics which have a known side effect of causing tendon inflammation and exacerbating existing tendon inflammation. After a few days on the antibiotics I was struggling to walk without significant pain.

I live in Edinburgh and my boyfriend lives in Essex. I flew to London Stansted to spend the weekend with my boyfriend and attend a friend’s 40th birthday party. The Sunday I was due to fly back was the first weekend after the English schools broke up for the summer – I hadn’t realised this because the Scottish schools break up at different times, so it hadn’t occurred to me the airport might be very busy.

My boyfriend dropped me at Stansted about 90 minutes before my flight time. I checked in with no problem and limped to security. The queue for security was the longest queue I’ve ever seen in my life, and moving very slowly. As I got further along the queue I could see why – the security staff were scanning all the hand luggage, hand searching it, and then sending it back through the scanner. So everything was taking 3 0r 4 times longer than it should. I waited and waited and waited, with the minutes ticking away, and didn’t get my hand luggage back until 5 minutes before my flight closed. Of course, I was travelling Easyjet, and of course, the gate was as far away from security as it could possibly be – and I couldn’t run. The pain in both of my feet was severe and I couldn’t do anything more than a fast hobble.

Well, I hobbled. I hobbled and hobbled and the antibiotics did their worst and both of my calves cramped at once. And I couldn’t stop. I had to force my body to keep going through cramping in both legs. I was in tears with the pain, the stress triggered my asthma, and I eventually arrived at the gate, crying, covered in snot, and asthmatically coughing so hard that I managed to vomit down myself. I made the flight with seconds to spare.

If you were the woman I was sitting next to, I am very, very sorry about the state I was in. Thank you for offering me your juice to see if that would stop my coughing. I am very grateful for your kindness. And I’m never taking those antibiotics again.

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It was January 2004 and I had just boarded an Emirates flight from Dubai to Düsseldorf to visit my family in Germany. I am not a happy flyer and hate watching take-offs, so I always ask for an aisle seat. On this flight I was seated in the aisle seat on the left side of the middle row in the back of the plane, surrounded by a German group of young business people. They asked me if I would like to switch seats so that they could all sit together, even offering me a window seat. I politely said no thanks, but I don’t do window seats for these and those reasons, and I specially requested an aisle one; they accepted my explanation without further ado.

Upon taxiing to the runway, the captain announced that we would experience turbulence when crossing Iran, but nothing too serious. So we took off and while climbing into the skies above the Gulf and reaching Iran we were served breakfast – something more than one person would regret later!

Now, I am one of those people who can’t take any movement without turning green in seconds and puking my guts out, so I had taken a travel-sickness pill which always has a nice kiss-my-bootie effect and keeps my nervousness under wraps (especially when combined with a small bottle of red wine and cabin pressure, though it was much too early for booze). My direct seat neighbour was a guy from that business group, a Palestinian, who I rather quickly fell into discussion with, including about the conflicts between his people and Israel. I was especially interested since I once dated someone from Palestine years back.

With this rather interesting talk time flew until all of a sudden we hit the first rough spot. In the beginning it was just some normal rocking and slight shaking, nobody cared, talking continued, as did service. This, however, changed very quickly when the rocking and shaking became harder and harder and the plane really swayed from side to side and went up and down. People were ordered to their seats and to buckle up and it got much more quiet.

My seat neighbour turned slightly whitish, telling me he isn’t the most courageous person. He said he doesn’t mind flying when it’s calm, but as the turbulence was getting worse and worse he was getting really nervous. I tried to calm him by telling him things a friend (a FA with Emirates) had told me and what I had read in a book and it did seem to help for a while. Until we hit rock bottom, that is.

All of a sudden the hard rocking turned to severe uplifts and downfalls, the plane plummeted a few hundred metres and lifted up again, the wings swayed up and down, and the plane swerved from side to side. People started to gasp and scream with each plummet, children cried, and the captain announced via intercom that the service should stop and the FAs must sit down immediately, which they did in a breeze.

It had become totally quiet, the only noise was the screams when we hit another air pocket and fell down like a rock. My seat neighbour had grasped the back of the seat in front of him with both hands which were chalk white. I was mysteriously calm, which was definitely due to the little pill I had taken before the flight and all the info about how planes function and so on that I had soaked up. The worse it got, the more relaxed I was.

Not so well though was a young Indian woman in front of me. She started throwing up when the turbulence got worse, and every so often her husband, whose turban I could see bobbing up and down with the movement of the plane, went and disposed of a bag of sickie, returning with a fresh one. The poor woman! I considered offering her a pill but knew it would be useless, as it would come out right away. Still I asked the man if he would like one for his wife, quickly explaining what it does as he clearly had never heard of something like a travel sickness pill before. He accepted my offer and, when the plane hit a slightly quieter patch, his wife quickly swallowed the pill and things went much easier for her once the plane went downwards again, this time with even harder plummets and more swaying.

This whole ordeal lasted from somewhere over Iran, and all across Turkey and the Black Sea, but once we reached Romania/Bulgaria it became totally calm again. Service, which had stalled for 3 hours, picked up again and shortly afterwards chatter filled the cabin again. The only thing left from the heavy turbulence was that we had climbed higher and higher to get out of it as much as possible, so descending started at Nürnberg  instead of Frankfurt.

We landed smoothly in Düsseldorf and I bid farewell to my friendly seat neighbour and the Indian couple. To this day I sometimes think of this flight and how the cabin crew rushed to their seats – you know it is getting rough when service is stopped and the FAs are asked to buckle up.

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A group of friends and I were flying from Tampa to Las Vegas. As is our tradition whenever we make such pilgrimages to Sin City, we immediately started drinking on the plane even though it was morning time. To save on costs we supplement drinks we purchase on board with beverages that we bring along with us.

During the flight a woman from our group who had enjoyed more than her share of adult beverages stumbled down the aisle to use the rear lavatory which was located near where we were sitting. When she returned to her seat a strong stench of vomit permeated from the lav. Soon afterwards another passenger entered the lavatory and immediately exited. He complained to the flight attendant that vomit was everywhere. The FA peeked inside and quickly closed the door, then posted the facility as being closed. She announced that people would have to use the lavatory located towards the front of the plane.

Curious about how bad the situation was, I got up and peered inside the lav. Orange-colored vomit covered everything – walls, floor, sink and toilet. The color made sense since my friend had drank a number of Bloody Marys and Screw Drivers.

It was apparent to everyone in our section of the plane that my friend was the person who had the projectile vomiting problem. Some of the passengers started demanding that she clean up the mess that she made. However, she was too drunk to do anything about it – or to even care for that matter – and she eventually passed out, leaving others without a convenient restroom, and worse of all having to endure the nauseating odor.

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Befouled by Puke from a Barf Bag Hand Puppet

August 20, 2011 Flying Hell Blog

Travel Tips for Tots from the blog, Mother-eff’d, is a filmed story from writer and comedian Johanna Stein. In the video, Stein describes an icky incident that occurred on an airplane while she tried to distract her screaming child with a hand puppet fashioned out of an air sickness bag. A written narrative about the ordeal [...]

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Vignettes From Heck

January 16, 2011 Odds & Ends Stories

None of the following vignettes really raise up to a level of “hell,” but they were certainly inconveniences. The first: In 1977 I was invited to a conference in Lynchburg, VA for high school students. My father arranged the flight through his employer (AT&T). When I went to the airport to fly home, Piedmont had [...]

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The Refill

November 16, 2010 Food & Drink Stories

I was young at the time; I won’t give a date (as I finally hit the age where I choose to ignore those details). I boarded a Delta flight (757) to Dallas in my first EVER First-class upgrade. It was then that I realized my co-worker Manny was on the flight–a few rows behind me.  [...]

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Sensitive Stomach Stressed by Stinky Passenger

November 8, 2010 Portly Stories

Working in Dallas and having family in Austin, I am used to a 3 hour transit period. So when I attended a scholastic logistics competition in Jacksonville and learned that the flight time was three hours from DFW, I thought that the flight would be cake, nothing compared to the overseas flights I had taken [...]

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Fetid Flight

October 25, 2010 Odor Stories

Once upon a time on a flight from Germany to New York, around 50 people from India decided to visit their relatives. It would have been a nice flight, but I’m sorry to say that the spices they use in their food is not good for the atmosphere. Besides that, a couple had their little [...]

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Youngster’s Flight From Hell

October 1, 2010 Baby & Kid Stories

This was not what I would consider a “flight from hell” for me, just a memory I can shake off and even laugh about now. But for my 10 year old seat mate, I’m sure it was a flight from hell. This was back in June 2002 on a trip back to my home in [...]

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