A fun flying blog with airline travel stories
I was on a Virgin Atlantic flight from Orlando to London. There was bad turbulence due to weather, so they announced that the food and drink service would be delayed. After about an hour and a half, they announced that the drink service in economy would be cancelled because the drinks were falling off the cart. However, we could physically see the drinks being delivered in premium economy and above. Did they have special carts?
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I was on a Virgin Airlines flight from Tokyo to London back in ’99. At first I had this wonderful aisle seat and a sweet FA who had this wonderful British accent. I chatted things up for a bit with her and was then greeted by a Senior FA (an old hag BTW) who asked if I’d like to upgrade my seat closer to the front of the plane and that I’d be serviced by an even cuter FA and a sexy bombshell (her words) sitting next to me. I thought – sure… (I’m a guy… probably a very stupid one after you finish reading this). Worst Mistake Ever!
I get up there and it’s one of those seats where there’s only one other next to you. I sit down and get out a book. I really thought it would be a pleasant flight. Five minutes later this guy who easily weighs over 400 pounds shows up. You can see the reeking sweat thru his dark business suit. It was that obvious. The Senior FA looks at me and smiles… like a big F/U for flirting with the younger FA. I look totally confused and so she walks over and breaths into my ear with,”Oh, and you’ve got this bombshell to take care of you.”
I was like – OMG – can I go back. Nope – they’ve already switched up seats all over. I’m then subjected to the very long flight of this guy snoring, belching (god only knows what he ate in Tokyo), and above all farting his butt off the whole way. I’ve been in the Army and seen and smelled some rather horrid stuff – but this really was unbelievable. When he farted you could tell because (even in his supposed sleep) he would inhale this huge breath and hold it. Then it came – either the belch or the fart… usually the fart. He would wake up for all the meals and snacks and ‘re-fuel’ his ability to disgust me.
At the end of the flight he jumped up and said it was the best flight from Tokyo to London – ever. I looked at the Senior FA and just wanted to give her the finger and tell her what a complete nasty hag she’d been for the whole flight and what she’d done to me. However, the younger FA who initially engaged me in conversation caught up with me and said goodbye.
I thought – yeah, hopefully I can smell again soon after that horrid experience.
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On a Virgin Atlantic flight from London Gatwick to Las Vegas, I was seated next to a couple who were flying to Vegas to get married. The first hour of the nine hour flight was relatively pleasant. I was telling them about things not to miss in Vegas and they were telling me their courtship story. But they kept knocking back drinks and then started taking pain pills. Not only were they taking these pills themselves, they started trying to get me to take them also! And wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was having pills pushed on me and drinks sloshed all over me.
The stewardess finally cut them off from alcohol and the woman started wailing and they led her away. The flight attendant asked me if I was okay and I said no. He asked if I would like to be moved and I said ‘please.’ But it was a full flight and they moved me to the only available seat, directly across the aisle from this couple. When the woman came back, she somehow got the idea that I had ‘told on them’ and that was the reason they got cut off from drinking. She came over and leaned down by my seat and asked me about it. I told her no, and explained to her the reason I had moved was because my seat was wet from the spilled drinks. She went back to her seat but spent the rest of the flight glaring at me and cursing me loudly. When that plane came to a halt I ran for the front door. And this is the abbreviated version!
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