The Amorous Seatmate

May 14, 2010

in Couples Stories

On a recent redeye from LAX to BWI, I was traveling alone on a chock-full plane, seated beside a skinny, nasal-voiced couple in their late 20s. The woman had the window, her boyfriend the center, and myself, the aisle.

Despite the fact that it was 11pm when we took off, their conversation and canoodling looked like it’d go on for a good long while. On went my eye mask, and soon I drifted away.

About two hours later, I was startled awake — there was a tongue in my ear and a hand snaking up the inside of my thigh. Wha-?!? Up went my mask, and my seatmate sprang away from me in shock, inadvertently smacking into his (formerly) sleeping girlfriend.

The mortified guy mumbled an apology to me, then turned to the mystified woman and said very quietly into her shoulder:

“I swear, I thought she was you.”

For the next three hours we sat stock still beside each other, none of us daring to fall asleep again.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Clare May 14, 2010 at 4:58 pm

Sounds like the idiot boyfriend needs to be taught the difference between his left and right sides.

Too bad the girlfriend didn't smack him upside his head, once on each side, with "this is your right side", "this is your left side". Repeat until he understands.

That being said, I would have probably slapped his face if he groped me.


Dave January 22, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Clare, you sound like a misandrist sow who is really into violence against men. Let me guess, you are a feminist too.


theblackdog May 18, 2010 at 10:30 am

Suuuuuuuuure he didn't know that he wasn't groping his girlfriend. He probably went for a cheap thrill and was mad he got caught.


Mike July 26, 2011 at 8:56 am

Total B/S


iloveflying September 5, 2015 at 9:27 pm

some guys ARE honest but i bet the gf thought the same as you but it CAN happen accidentally.


Zombie September 6, 2015 at 8:26 am

Which is why zombies never make public displays of affection.


Amber May 18, 2016 at 12:50 pm

I agree, my husband tends to start things while he's asleep, we've come to the realization he could never share a bed with someone else due to this tendency. It is possible it was a complete mistake, but it's also just as possible he knew what he was doing.


Leave a Comment
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous post:

Next post: