Chester The Molester

October 5, 2009

in Passenger Stories

On a recent redeye flight, I popped an Ambien as I needed to sleep so that I would be awake for an early morning meeting. Now, Ambien knocks me on my butt as I have only taken it a few times in my life.

Lo and behold, the ONE time I have EVER taken a pill on a flight, heck, I don’t even drink on a flight, I find myself sitting next to… Chester the Molester.

Numerous times throughout the flight, I’d awaken to have this gross man leaning on me and invading my personal space in a most inappropriate way. Throughtout the entire flight, I kept waking up to find his lips on my neck, his hand in my lap, his hand on my chest… and each time I would groggily say NO and push him off of me. He pretended each time that it was an accident and that he was unaware of what he was doing, mumbling sorrrrrrry.

I was pissed inside, but did not have the wherewithall or alertness to summon the flight attendant and make a complaint and have this pig moved to another seat.

When the lights finally came on when we landed, I started to come to. He kind of ignored me as he gathered his belongings. But when I stood up to gather mine, as he was exiting the plane, he turned back and gave me this grin that told me that he knew EXACTLY what he was doing. By this time the effects of the Ambien had worn off, I was LIVID but it was too late to do anything.

Lesson learned, do not take an Ambien on a flight.

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Demotage October 5, 2009 at 8:17 pm

That is awful. Besides the violation of your person, which is horrible, he also has deprived you of one of the greatest things ever invested for a long flight – Ambien.

I only take it on international flights (and occasionally at home) – but it is wonderful to take off, fall asleep and wake up 8 or 9 hours later when the flight is over.

It is too bad that you couldn't shake it off long enough to complain – they probably would have taken the guy off in handcuffs, which would be better than he deserved. Not that I'm criticizing – I know how powerful the stuff is. It is virtually impossible to wake up until it wears off. Another problem with it, is that a a lot of people 'do things' in their sleep when they are on it. A congressman was arrested a couple of years ago for DUI – it turned out that he was driving in his sleep on Ambien. I once woke up at home after an Ambien night to find my two dogs (who sleep in the house) missing. They weren't' in the house, they weren't in the yard. They were gone. It was very mysterious because they were in the house when I went to sleep. An hour or two later, they came home, after an adventure running through the neighborhood. The ONLY way they could have gotten out is that I let them out. But I don't remember it.


Marta October 6, 2009 at 3:36 pm

That's why it's a hypnotic drug, you do things you don't recall, or are unable to do things, like kicking Chester's gonads up his throat.


Alex October 6, 2009 at 6:19 pm

I've found half an Ambien is the way to go (the regular kind, not the CR). It'll knock you out, but you can wake up just fine. I took a whole one once, and walked into a closet on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night and didn't come out until the next morning. Whoops.


Atari October 7, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Not 'wherewithal,' but 'presence of mind,' or 'consciousness' or 'strength' or 'will'.


Demotage October 8, 2009 at 1:42 pm

There is nothing wrong with 'wherewithal'. It is most often used in association with money, but has a more general meaning as well – 'the means for a purpose'.


saw October 8, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Wherewithal, presence of mind, consciousness, strength of will, or whatever….

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO COMPLAIN. I would have grabbed the first cop in the terminal and told him THAT man was molesting me on the flight and I want help… NOW.

If it EVER happens to you again.. DO THAT.

And I'm shocked that nobody around you noticed and did something about it. THAT is even more deplorable. (was "deplorable" acceptable to the language police?)


jimbob October 12, 2009 at 10:47 am

you earned it taking percription meds other then specified by a doctor. its your own fault…IDIOT!!!


kyledcline September 22, 2012 at 11:14 pm

You think people are property of the state, and need to be controlled by their "betters"…IDIOT!!!

Because doctors are infallible. I went to to the doc before a recent international flight and asked for some Ambien, but he refused. His exact words were "Sorry, no can do, you'll almost certainly be molested on your flight and unable to fend off the attack due to the drug's sedative properties." Whew! Close one.

He also mentioned something about the difference between "wherewithal" and "presence of mind" being about as relevant to this story as where I took my last bowel movement.

On second thought, I think my doctor is a prophet.


Atari October 24, 2009 at 12:07 pm

Wait! Checking. . . .

Deplorable: Acceptable.

Wherewithal means, EXACTLY this:

The money or other resources for a particular purpose.

Wherewithal is NOT related to an emotional state, frame of mind, temperament or disposition.

You can't even consider your arms and legs 'wherewithal' because they are not 'resources'.

The word was wrong in every sense. Period. It is not about grammar, it is about using a word like 'infer' when one obviously means 'imply'.

I'm not mad or berating, but merely stating in order to purge the writer of her ignorance.


saw October 26, 2009 at 3:53 am


If I write the words,

"Bite Me"

Would that be clear to you, or do you need me to get out a slang-term-dictionary so that we're completely clear?

Also, assumption of gender without any guidance to the fact is also never a good idea. It makes you look (gasp) "ignorant". If you're not sure, use "their" (and make sure you don't confuse it with there or they're, 'cause you're head will explode if you do).

Two other bits for you… 1) I'm a guy 2) You're a dick.


saw October 26, 2009 at 4:00 am

Oh, and if you're wondering, the word "wherewithal" is used properly in the context it was used in my Oct 8 posting, as well as the lady writers original… It's clear that we're both aware of the definition, and if you insert the words "resources" into either, the meaning is clear. Unless, of course, you didn't "understand" the meanings of the postings, in which case, it makes you look (gasp) "ignorant".

So if you're going to complain about grammar, use of words, or otherwise, do try to make sure you're RIGHT before you spew crap.


Atari October 27, 2009 at 10:52 am

And once again, I say, "No, it's not."

You might as well use the phrase, "Mental tools," or, "Mental Paraphernalia".

It's wrong, and you stating that it is correct over and over does not make it so.

Let's go over it ONE MORE time:

Dictionary definition: Wherewithal: The money or other resources needed for a particular purpose.

Just to clarify, the definition of 'resources' is as follows: A stock or supply of materials or assets that can be drawn on in order to function effectively.

As far as I know, willpower or mental capability is not a 'stock' or 'supply'.

Granted, there is a definition way down which does refer to personal attributes, but it's a stretch if you ask me.

This is the reason that the English language is butchered so. We take words that only have a vague semblance to what we want them to mean, and use them carelessly. There are better words or phrases which actually mean what the poster wants to write.

On the point of deteriorating English language, the word 'his' is grammatically accurate when referring to an unknown or unspecified gender.

"They" refers to more than one person, and is not accepted as proper in this context by most English scholars.

Feel free to nitpick, but I, also, no longer feel it necessary to argue. I can see your response, now, about how 'resources' can mean personal attributes or qualities. What ever.


bmw October 28, 2009 at 8:43 am

jimbob, the doctor i work for prescribes Ambien for patients on long flight or those with flight anxieties, so keep your ignorance to yourself.

Hey language police, every consider that a word can have multiple meanings, that the dictionary YOU checked might not be the sole authority, that the English used in an online posting is not required to be perfect, or that by saying "but it’s a stretch if you ask me" you widely open the door for the segue to: WE DIDN'T ASK YOU and WHY DOES IT MATTER!!!.

I love it when people have to be right and jump on anyone that disagrees. Assuming you are right and wherewithal has to be in reference to resources… ever consider any of the literary devices and analysis you should have learned in high school? The OP's reference to her inability to move as an inability to command resources merely serves to exaggerate and highlight the detachment and frustration she experienced from here lack of command of her own body. If you want to attack someone for assuming the OP is a certain gender, go for it. Everyone reads and interprets in his or her own way.


suckitup October 28, 2009 at 11:34 am

We are so damn P.C. now it's amazing. If you were sleeping, then it shouldn't bother you. Besides, if you are a woman, then you need to learn to accept this. Think of it this way: it's like a free massage. No harm done to either party. So please get over yourself and get on with life.


Kevin August 10, 2010 at 7:54 am

I'm surprised that no one's told you what an unremittant ass you are, suckitup. That is possibly one of the worst comments I've ever read about any posting here.

I suppose you're of the Bobby Knight 'if a girl is getting raped, she should just lie back and enjoy it' camp? How about you? Would you like to be pawed in your sleep? Perhaps we should have you violated by people you don't know?

If ignorance truly is bliss, you must be like a person whacked up on so many drugs that you don't know where your your face ends and your asshole begins.


saw October 31, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Hey, Atari… Just in case you missed it in the other thread…


  /ˈrisɔrs, -soʊrs, -zɔrs, -zoʊrs, rɪˈsɔrs, -ˈsoʊrs, -ˈzɔrs, -ˈzoʊrs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ree-sawrs, -sohrs, -zawrs, -zohrs, ri-sawrs, -sohrs, -zawrs, -zohrs] Show IPA


1. a source of supply, support, or aid, esp. one that can be readily drawn upon when needed.


It’s the RIGHT word, used CORRECTLY. So shut your blowhole and go away.


Atari November 1, 2009 at 7:39 pm

No it's not, Saw.

My dictionary says that the word is 'especially' referring to finances, but the spirit and true meaning of the word is referring to items, to finances and tools.

As I said, you can stretch it, but that just is not the meaning. If you look in the thesaurus, you won't see anything about mental strength in relation to 'wherewithal'.

The mental 'attributes' to fetch the flight attendant? Right.

The REAL question here is this: Why does it bother everyone so much that I corrected someone's misuse of a word?


saw November 2, 2009 at 2:07 pm

Well Atari, I guess you should go find yourself a better dictionary.

It doesn't bother us, that you correct a misuse. What bothers people, is when you correct it INCORRECTLY, then refuse to admit you're wrong, even when it's F*ing obvious to everyone on the planet but yourself.

I'm done. I've proved my point, whether you believe it, see it, or not. Any further attempts on my part, or anyone else's part, to get your stubborn, narcissistic little brain to see the truth is wasted effort.



tinkler November 4, 2009 at 12:39 am



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