Portly Guy Chows Down on Potato Chips

September 10, 2014

in Portly Stories

I was once on a direct flight from New York to Johannesburg, South Africa (15.5 hours) and had the good fortune of sitting next to a hugely obese man who was sweating profusely. His butt barely fit into his seat, and when he sat down he had to lift his belly up and drape it over the armrests on both sides. I had a good 8″ of his belly in my lap. I didn’t want to be rude so I got up and spoke to a flight attendant in the back to ask if I could change seats, but the plane was full.

After we took off, he reached into his bag and pulled out a family size bag of potato chips and a book called Aqua Erotica. He promptly started shoveling chips into his face and chomping them down with his mouth open. Every few minutes he would laugh, spraying chip detritus and sweat all over me.

I showered for an hour after the flight but nothing could get the mental and physical ick off me. Glaaah.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Jean June 28, 2018 at 4:49 pm

Is it the fault of the passenger, or the fault of the shitty airline who wants to pack people into planes like sardines? This particular thread (Portly Stories) oozes with anger towards the fat passengers, but nobody seems to think about the crappy seats that have no leg room, where if the poor slob in the seat in front of you wants to lean back, your trip is DONE. In an airplane we're already treated like cattle, and we respond by blaming the fat guy next to us.


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