Overweight Family With Odor Issues

May 25, 2010

in Portly Stories

This here is the story of my flight from h*ll which I took on some dumb bargain basement cheap excuse for an Airline called AMERICAN AIRLINES.

One day, I went to go fly on their airplane. I was leaving from SEA TAC airport in the town of SEA TAC, WASHINGTON. When I get to the airport, there was a big line of people waiting there already!!! I says to the lady working there, I says, “I’m running late for my flight. Can I go ahead?” And she says, “No! These people were here first. You need to go to the end of the line!” I couldn’t believe her, she was so rude! She was very large and intimidating. She was wearing a ugly maroon vest and navy blue pants. I says “Ma’am, please” and she just repeated, “Get to the end of the line! NOW!” So with little to no choice, I went and stood behind a man and woman and their two kids.

Well, this man and this woman were very fat, and so were their two kids. I smelled a bad odor wafting from their direction. It smelled like rotten eggs! I looked at the woman and saw that she was eating egg salad from a Tupperware carton. She looked back at me, and smiled at me. There was a piece of egg stuck between her two front teeth! One of her bottom teeth was missing! I know this is mean (I have a lot of compassion for fat people) but I can’t help it, I thought to myself, “Please, God, don’t let this family sit next to me on the plane.”

So we waited and waited and waited while I had to smell rotten eggs and bad BO from the overweight family in front of me. As I tried to plug my nose, I thought to myself I would NEVER get on my airplane!

Well when I finally get to the front of the line, I says to the woman standing there, “Ma’am I am here to check in.” And would you believe it… she tries to say I don’t have a ticket!

It was just some misunderstanding and I really did have a ticket but it took forever to straighten it out. Morons! Finally they said “Here’s your boarding pass. Your flight is almost ready to leave. You better run!” So I ran and ran and ran to security which was clear on the other side of the airport. I had to take some dumb train to get there! When I got there they told me (get ready for this!) that I looked suspicious. They had to search me with a wand! They were cold and mean in their process of running the wand over all the areas of my body. I couldn’t believe it and I was so humiliated.

Then it took me a long time to get my shoes back on. At long last I made it to the departure gate just in the nick of time only to hear a rude flight attendant saying to me, “(My name)? Is that you? Next time, BE here! We almost left without you!”

I got inside just as the plane was closing up and found my seat. When I saw who was sitting next to me I groaned inwardly. It was that fat woman from the line and her fat husband! The two kids sat behind us!

I squeezed myself into my seat (the woman’s fat spilled over, her pillowy arms flapping against me). She smiled at me. I saw a black speck on her tooth and smelled the strong odor of garlic wafting from her breath!

I managed to buckle my seat belt. The plane took off and I felt feet begin to kick the back of my seat. It was those two overweight little kids! I turned to glare at them. One of them stares back at me, his beady little blue eyes glistening evilly above his cheek bubbles of fat! He sneered at me and gave my seat a extra hard kick. I says to him firmly, “NO!” but the brat just did it again! I turned to his mother to tell her to control her child, but she was too busy eating! She had a big chocolate stain on her lips and chocolate dribbled down her chins on to her blue tent dress!

Later the woman fell asleep and she began to pass odors in her sleep. That was bad enough, but to add to that, when the flight attendants came by with their cart of drinks I said “Tomato juice, please” (hoping to send a healthy positive signal to the woman and man next to me) and she says rudely that they’re all out and gave me NO beverage! Then I felt something boiling hot on my arm. She had SPILLED HOT WATER ON ME!

I says “Ma’am you just spilled that hot water all over me” and she says fakely “Oh I’m sorry it was a accident” and went to get me a paper towel to clean up, but she never came back! I could have been seriously burned by that woman!

Later I tried to complain about all this and only got some worthless $50 voucher. I try never to complain because I know the airlines is hard work but I also know from flying other airlines that at least all da rest of them will give you a free flight or a upgrade when you complain… not just a $50 coupon. I will never ever ever fly this airline again! AMERICAN AIRLINES, you suck! Jerks! Morons! Unprofessional Creeps! Treat your passengers with respect or you WILL lose my business.

– A Mad Customer

{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

Clare May 25, 2010 at 6:29 pm

For starters, it's your fault that you were late. Why should you be allowed to go to the head of the line? Do you think that you should be granted special favors?

Wanding is fairly standard so I'm at a loss as to why you think you were being humiliated.

You are nothing more than a whiny douchebag. Maybe you should find another way to get to your destination next time.


Karin May 26, 2010 at 1:03 am

This never happened.


david May 26, 2010 at 1:22 am

you call all these people rude but yet they just said what should be known……..if there is a line you go to the end, plain and simple and what she said was just that and that isn't rude thats just informative

you say you have compassion for overweight people but yet your calling them fatties, yeah lots of compassion there, you know you can just call them overweight

these days when they wand you at security people dont care coz it is a normal occurance and they do it to random people


Gman May 26, 2010 at 1:58 am

You made this up. I can't believe two out of four commenters couldn't see through this.

Do the people who run this site ever vet what people submit, or do they just post it? This also goes for people who write about some piddly little thing like "my feet were hurting and that made it a flight from hell." We need some sort of standards here.


Chris May 26, 2010 at 2:58 am

I says: F-F-F-F-ake Fail!


Jodi May 26, 2010 at 3:13 am

not only fake, but boring too.


Laura May 26, 2010 at 3:53 am

FAIL. Not only is it fiction, it's *really* poorly written.


Applekornkid May 26, 2010 at 4:09 am

Great story you should write fiction….oh wait you already do.


The logger May 26, 2010 at 4:09 am

Nice try at trying to come across as some trailer park ignoramus.

If you want to write bullshit, please post on CNN.

Clare, calling this guy a douchebag is an insult to douchebags everywhere.


Clare May 26, 2010 at 7:36 am

Sorry, no offense to douchebags in general was intended. 😉


Eutychus May 26, 2010 at 4:18 am

Logger's got it: either the dumbest thing ever written, or a nod-nod-wink-wink attempt at parody of the dumbest thing ever written.


Amanda May 26, 2010 at 4:47 am

I believe this is hyperbole meant to parody the typical story on this site. If it isn't, then I believe the poster is a whiny putz.


nyuu May 26, 2010 at 5:32 am

Every other sentence! There is an exclamation point! Not only does this story ring false, the way it's written sounds idiotic. It reminds me of a flailing, headless chicken!


Trixi May 26, 2010 at 7:58 am

Jesus, take a valium, lady.


OG May 26, 2010 at 1:07 pm

yeah, this story just "smells" LOL….

And I wouldn't have given the dude shit, a $50 voucher for what? Because he shows up late and didn't like the fatties he sat next to?. Sure.


ps May 26, 2010 at 2:29 pm

A crock, pure and simple. Also how did Clan XXL get on the plane before you. Even after a wanding and running late it didn't sound like you were competing with sprinters.


Dina May 26, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Super fake, especially since security at SeaTac has always been BEFORE the subway. (Is that really the detail I'm picking out of all this? lol)


RedHead0186 May 27, 2010 at 10:04 am

That's okay, the first detail I picked out of the story was that she (?) said that she was leaving from the town of SEA TAC. SEA TAC is not a town, it's the name of the airport, and Seattle sure isn't just a town!


Dina May 27, 2010 at 12:30 pm
david May 27, 2010 at 1:00 pm

i never understand why people use wikipedia…….not a credible source even though it is a town


Dina May 30, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Dude, this isn't an academic paper. I just used it because it was the first hit in Google. 😛


Bob June 11, 2010 at 8:10 am

Yes, SeaTac is actually the name of the mess where SeaTac airport is located. It is its own municipality complete with police,fire and city council.


memee May 27, 2010 at 7:37 am

I "says" you are a moron!


Chris August 12, 2010 at 6:04 am


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