Air Freshener? I Think Not

May 4, 2009

in Odor Stories

Last September my husband and I were traveling from Orlando to Omaha. We prefer direct flights, but we got a good deal on a different airline that required a layover in Atlanta. I was already upset about this b/c I despise the Atlanta airport, but whatever, no biggie. We fly to Atlanta on a normal sized aircraft only to find that the second leg of our trip was going to be on a puddle jumper. We weren’t assigned seats on the puddle jumper until we got the gate in Atlanta. Our tickets said row 13 which I realize now was foreshadowing for what was to come.

Now I have been on those tiny planes before, and I thought they all ended with the tiny bathroom in the back. The entire plane is 2 seats on each side for 12 rows…. then there is our row, on the left side of the aisle is the bathroom, on our side, are our seats. There was not even a full foot between the aisle seat and the bathroom door that was facing it.

It was my husband’s birthday so I told him to take the window, I’ll sit next to the bathroom. How bad could it be, it was a 2 hour flight? Immediately the male flight attendant comes back into the bathroom to check himself out in the mirror and it is at that point that I am over-powered by the stench of the disgusting old air freshener that was in that bathroom. I am not joking when I say it was so strong, I could immediately taste it. Meanwhile I look over and my husband is fidgeting. I ask him what is wrong and he tells me he’s sitting on a toilet seat. I told him he was being dramatic and he stands to show me that in fact, there was fabric, but no cushion in his seat. It looked like he was sitting on a fabric covered toilet seat.

It gets better…the pilot then announces that we are having mechanical problems and that we’ll have to wait for maintenance. Well, the flight was full of older people and apparently every single one of them had weak bladders b/c they all started immediately using the bathroom. They would line up with their butts in my face waiting for the next passenger to come out and release that God Awful disgusting fake air freshener sent into my mouth. My husband and I were gagging and were actually using our sweatshirts to cover our nose and mouth all the while scowling at each passenger as they walked back to use bathroom. It was about an hour of this and no joke, some of them used the bathroom more than once in that time. We finally got to lift-off and I was so sick by the time I reached Omaha that I was dry heaving air freshener once we got to the airport.

On the way back to Orlando via Atlanta, we were assigned row 14, but you know what row that really was….it was just a newer plane. Thankfully, the air freshener wasn’t so gross on the way back. Needless to say, we will not be using that airline again.

Signed, Becky

{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

Roto13 May 20, 2009 at 5:05 pm

"while scowling at each passenger as they walked back to use bathroom"

I was almost with you until that point. I probably would have farted right in your face if you looked at me like that for having the nerve to use the bathroom.


SAW May 20, 2009 at 5:43 pm

Good point… being mad at old people for using the toilet is plain mean. If you're really that kind of person, you deserved the discomfort you endured from their activity. In fact, if lining up for the bathroom, they really had no control where their butts were. A few of them should have farted in your face…


Anonymous May 21, 2009 at 3:49 am

It wasn't the fact that they were using the bathroom…it was that they were lining up which was completely uneccessary..there were only 50 people on this plane. You could have turned your head to see if the bathroom was available. Thanks for reading!


dannn May 21, 2009 at 3:57 am

The whole point about your husband sitting on a toilet seat cracked me up. This is a great story and I feel your pain sister!


Anonymous May 21, 2009 at 4:33 am

Hey Roto and SAW why don't u go smell farts together. The fact that an airline would put seats right there is redonk and so are you. Try and use a bathroom before boarding a tiny tube. You can certainly control where your butts are and you damn well should. If your butt is anywhere near someone else's face then move it, go sit on it fonzi until the bathroom is available.


Bob Bilches May 21, 2009 at 4:43 am

Yea I agree ROTO ROOTER should go smell farts and take your friend SAW with you. I was almost with you until….blah blah blah. I have had similar experiences and if I were them two I would have punched everyone right in the keister! If you two have jobs (and I doubt you do) then I hope everyone in your office farts all day today.


Amanda May 21, 2009 at 4:48 am

I feel your pain. I would have done the same thing. People should SIT DOWN until the bathroom is free.


Toni May 21, 2009 at 4:52 am

Why would an airline even put a seat back there? They should discount that row, that's just gross. I have totally been in that situation and it's awful. Plus, I'm betting that people were farting in your face which is why you were scowling. And everyone definitely has control of where there butts are…


Jeff May 21, 2009 at 5:42 am

I think this is a prime example of people being rude. You are so right to be pissed on such a small plane.

I think the ones who commented about farting in your face must be the fat and old people who know they smell when they use the restroom but have no respect for others. It is about respect and being a human being.


Jacob Denver May 21, 2009 at 5:45 am


I am right with you on this one! It is about being respectful.

Who leaves a comment about farting in your face. Is this grade school?

Thank you for sharing your story with us all. I appreciate you saying what all of us have experienced on a flight before.


Kathy McKee May 21, 2009 at 5:46 am

This had me laughing out loud! I sent it to everyone in the office. How can you not talk about this?

I have sat in a flight the same way and couldn't believe how rude people were. It was a short flight, just hold it. How much do you really need to go right now? Seriously?


Lovely Love May 21, 2009 at 5:46 am

Funny, funny, funny, funny.

This is 30 Rock funny with a little bit of House mixed in.


Martin Johnson May 21, 2009 at 5:48 am

I was once on a flight when a guy kept going to bathing room and it smelled so bad. He came out and I gave him Imodium and said USE IT! You are making us all sick.

He said he was sorry because he ate spicy food in the airport before the flight. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! You should know better. Just RUDE!


KeyLooLoo May 21, 2009 at 5:49 am

Once I was on a flight and a guy just peed waiting for the toilet. He just peed right there. It was so gross and it SMELLED.

He said he didn't mean to. It was super gross.


Erin May 21, 2009 at 5:52 am

Once I was on a flight and I had to go so bad. I went to the front but there was a line. I cuoldn't wait so I used a plastic bag in the seat. I know it was not the best but I had too.

The night before I was sitting at home in my wedding dress and looking at my wedding photos from my ex and I from 3 years ago. I just had two boxes of wine but the candle I lit made me feel the love. I had to go then and I had to go on the plane.

I think it was letting go of the emotion. THE EMOTION.


Tbone May 21, 2009 at 5:58 am

Yo that is wack! These catz that think it is cool to park their fat azz right in other catz faces are the same foolz that think it is cool to drop azz the whole flight and make the rest of us wanna jump out the dam winda.


dannn May 21, 2009 at 6:43 am

Flights are fun, but sometimes I just want the people to not be on the flight. I like want the plane to be empty except for me. Well I would need a pilot to fly said plane. But I would not allow for him to use the restroom. Maybe he can have his own, or he can go out the winda (if we aren't too high up in de air). I am just not sure.


crazy funk May 21, 2009 at 6:46 am

I have flown in a plane more than 57 times…maybe even 68. Not sure. But everytime I do the pets in the back make their way into the aisles…once there was a monkey who threw feces around. It landed in some ladies hair. She was mad. The air freshener smelled worse than that. I miss rags to riches on nbc. Such a good show…awe-inspiring. The dad from just the ten of us now does audits.


Erin May 21, 2009 at 6:50 am

Did I mention I love the Smurfs?


Nelson May 21, 2009 at 7:05 am

crazy funk, I have flown on a plane more than 68 times. Might even be 87, I'm not sure either. All I know is on my last flight to Baltimore, the entire plane broke into song. Now, granted I was on some pain meds for a minor foot surgery I'd had a few days earlier but I swear they all knew the dance moves from Breakin 2: Electric Bugaloo. It was crazy. Two guys were doing a helicopter in the aisle and the one guy spinning on the other guy's head was wearing air jordan's. I haven't seen them in a long time. Worse, was the guy two rows in front of me was wearing Baltimore Raven's Zumba pants. Remember those? I think I was being punked but Ashton didn't jump out of the over-head compartment Ya'll.


crazy funk May 21, 2009 at 7:09 am

so scared of old tv antennas…


Roto13 May 21, 2009 at 7:11 am

If a bunch of people are waiting to use the bathroom, of course there's going to be a line. In the civilized world, that's how order is decided. It sucks that you were seated next to the bathroom, but you didn't need to be a douchebag to people who had nothing to do with it.


love muffin/hard as May 21, 2009 at 7:15 am

Not kidding..jean claude van damme was on a flight w/ me in the late 80s.

I was like "are you karate-kidding me with this". Van-Dammit I was psyched.

After this mofo kick boxed his way out of first-class for allegidly trying to moon-walk into the cock pit. The over-friendly stewardess grabbed him by his gigantic man-neck and said "sit down bubble trousers".

Thank God he did as he was told, because then he was back in coach with all of us. This was on some ol wedding singer/billy idol type sing song singalong ish. He was drunk (obviously) and cold singing old German hymns from the 1800s reminising about his grandmother and talking about women as objects.

He was offensive but what a story.

Steven Segall would never have been as gnarly as this.

I know becuase he ran over my cousins big wheel in new jersey.


love muffin/hard as May 21, 2009 at 7:16 am

roto 13…not sexy bro….

if you were in that sitch i know you would have complained

your parents left you becuase they hated you…


Roto13 May 21, 2009 at 8:13 am

Yeah, I probably would have complained. What I WOULDN'T have done was give old people the evil eye for having poor bladder control and preferring not to mess themselves in their seats. I'm not a self-absorbed asshole, you see.


Nelson May 21, 2009 at 8:42 am

Wow! Roto, this website is called flights from hell. It's a plce where people can vent about their horrible flying experiences. Have you not read any of the other postings on here? While I appreciate your right to free speech, you weren't there. I'm pretty sure calling someone you don't know a d-bag or an a-hole, makes you one yourself.


Slappy McGee May 21, 2009 at 8:46 am

Roto dont be a dodo, I would rather get the evil eye than ur brown eye in my grill. Now go jump down spin around and poop ur pants.


Roto13 May 21, 2009 at 9:15 am

If there's some kind of super secret reason that all of those people were somehow wrong to be human beings, the poster is welcome to clear that up. But I somehow doubt it.


death to roto #478 May 21, 2009 at 9:52 am

i do not like roto….sooo liverwurst-esque in his insane cocaine and marshmellow fueled hate rants about mountains, moonpies for misfits roto…moonpies for misfits.


brian eno May 21, 2009 at 9:59 am

this reminds me of this one flight i was on…it was the early seventies…twa….right after i was booted from roxy music but before my first solo album on EG records (thanks Robert Fripp). I was going from London to JFK in New York. Height of Glam rock and Bowie-mania. I was gettting ready on the plane for a photo shoot I was having with Lou Reed, Bowie, Iggy Pop, and Ian Hunter from Mott The Hoople. Sorry to be a name dropper. But this really uptight guy named Robo was on the flight and I think it is the same guy posting here. Robo is this you? I hope you didn't buy 'The Joshua Tree" or the last Coldplay albums because I produced both of those and I don't want your support.




iggy pop May 21, 2009 at 10:22 am

Eno, I think you meant ROTO not ROBO, but I digress. This guy is always the painfully PC guy on all the comments here. He himself is guaranteed to be fat and smelly. This forum is no place to be politically correct ROTO. Eat a dick…..mine.

"I am the worlds forgotten boy"

– Iggy Pop


stevie wonder May 21, 2009 at 10:33 am

thank God this comes in braile…


fishing/gymnastics i May 21, 2009 at 10:42 am

this reminds me of this one flight i had….totally had to ride my bike to the airport (not sexy, but didn't have to pay parking fares yall!!) anywho i was totally stoked to go to spokane for a ice fishing/male gymnatics convention. random mix but soo fun..they haven't had one since '03 due to the whallopping travesty that occured between a salmon and a balance beam. anyway flying there i smelled rank n' file due to the sweat of my bike ride down 95 to the philly airport but nothing like the stench of my gymanastics ass after fishing for four days. I smelled like mary lou renton's croch after the '84 olympics..but i digress…everyone was all up on my grizzly about my stench so i dee-cided to go into the bathroom and rub the air freshener all over me…people were crazy complainin' but it beat mary lou's hoo-hoo right? Wrong…they pretty much quaranteened me to the very back of the plane for the entire 6 hour flight. I felt degraded and sad. But i guess i understood….


crazy carl and his c May 21, 2009 at 10:51 am

my cousin and i just realized that if your fishin'/somersault stank wasn't worse than that air freshener..than that air freshener must be pretty smelly…umumhahahhaumum


Roto13 May 21, 2009 at 1:56 pm

You know what guys. You are right. I think maybe I took this to seriously. I see now that this was all in fun and I should appreciate your sharing your personal story as well as your humor.

This could be because I am all alone. Yes. I have to admit that I am all alone. All I have is this gaming site I run because no one (not even over wifi) will play with.

I sit at home and try to make friends on boards (like this one) but because I am socially awkward, it comes off attacking in harsh.

Maybe I do not it to get attention. Maybe I do out of being bitter over my life. Maybe I do it because I just want to be loved.

I means seriously. I left a comment and I had no life that I had to come back and make MORE rude comments to strangers I do not even know.

It is OK. I realize that this is my problem and I have to deal with it. Yes, all by myself.

Even when I say that. I realize I am alone. So alone. I need to learn to put down the wall and let people in. I was just saying that to myself yesterday.

"RoRo" (that is what I call myself) "You need to put down the wall. How are you going to make friends at the seaQuest DSV conference if you don't open yourself up."

Did I do it? NO. I ending up eating my Jonathan Brandis Hot Dog all by myself on the way back to my van where I slept for the night.

Please understand. I do not want you to feel sorry for me. I do not mean any harm. I am just being silly in all of this and I am sorry.

All of you are sorry for saying mean things too. It is all in fun and in the end, this will never matter.

In 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years or even 22 years.

What matters is what we think of ourselves and how we choose to live life. With many bitter comments on strangers posts or learning to just laugh.

I guess I need to make a better choice…


Roto13 May 22, 2009 at 10:11 am

^^ Nice try. Anyone who can't see through your obvious troll bullshit needs their head examined.


Julicans May 23, 2009 at 5:32 am

Why ban an airline just b/c people had to go to the bathroom? If you don't want to sit in the back reserve your seats earlier. I just wonder if you pissed off the tkt agent and they seated you in the back.


Rob May 27, 2009 at 5:30 pm

Yeah the ass in the face thing really sucks. As someone who is usually ultra-conscious of not doing things to inconvenience other people, I've flown for hours with my seat back only an inch or 2, while the person in front of me just goes ALL BACK the second their ass hits the seat, which makes moving into or out of a seat difficult, eating difficult….

Some people just turn off their conscience and ignore the inconvenience or uncomfortable nature of wht they are doing.


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