Fat Smelly Man

April 27, 2009

in Portly Stories

In general, men don’t smell very good unless they’ve doused themselves with men’s cologne. I was on a small commuter flight, flight was full and the fattest guy you’ve ever seen had window seat next to me (I had the aisle). He poured over into my seat and there was no way his hot, fat body wasn’t touching me all over. I leaned out into the aisle and was practically falling on the floor trying to pull away from his flesh. The flight attendants kept bumping into me. Plus he smelled like sweat! It was the most awful airplane horror story ever!

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous April 11, 2009 at 7:23 am

Congratulations. This has to be the lamest story I've seen on this site yet.


Mark D April 3, 2015 at 8:26 pm

I agree I love big people and I'm a male, Everyone not made to be one sizes,
That's what's wrong with the world now people throw their beliefs on others,
Well I disagree, they do not smell everyone smell's different.
That story was just very judgmental and ignorant. its call Pheromones everyone has them.


Hugh April 13, 2009 at 4:02 am

I agree. And…I never wear cologne, I shower regularly and I smell fine you imbecile.


Nacho April 13, 2009 at 4:24 am

I find men to be particularly offensive if they're doused in cologne. Not that sweat is much better, but my god, you *LIKE* that?!


Craig April 14, 2009 at 3:39 pm

I am amused that everyone is attacking you…The fat guy becomes the victim..so typical today. I have ignored the fat guys and crying kids for far to long. I've held my tounge and been polite. No More. I pay for a seat. I should get to sit in it, free from screaming kids and obese people spilling over into my seat. I should not have to pay a First Class fare to enjoy reasonable comfort. I have been a frequent flyer for several years and the behavior in airports and on planes is getting worse. While there are medical conditions that people suffer that makes them obese, most people that are obese are that way of their own choosing. Just look at the lines of the fast food joints.


Pissed Off in Scottsdale


OldBillsMom April 16, 2009 at 1:32 pm

In general, men don't smell very good unless they've doused themselves with men's cologne.

It's quite obvious from your first statement that you have an issue with men.

I love the smell of men….in the morning! Some will get this and some won't.


Onslow April 17, 2009 at 8:46 am

How rude you are to say that men generally don't smell good! I am quite sensitive to body smells, as well as to colognes, and I rarely notice male odors. Sure some men are uncleanly, just the same as some women are.


Rob April 25, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Wow. Stupidity itself, in the person of the writer.

When you mention cologne, I picture your male friends splashing a little stuff from 1 gallon bottles.

Cologne (and perfume) in an enclosed space is offensive, and likely to earn a negative reaction from me, a daily-showering traveller who prefers neutral-odour.

I usually ask the liberally doused person if they had to use so much bug spray. The reactions are priceless.


Rob May 27, 2009 at 6:41 pm

You're kidding right? Cologne on a plane? As a man, I go for the just-showered neutral smell. No offensive man-perfume or BO. Odours are offensive, period.


Atari May 30, 2009 at 8:29 pm

To Craig:

While I agree with you, I must say – simply because I believe that it is true – that I think that the reason people are so angry is because she just fecklessly blasted men, in general.

"All guys smell awful unless they're wearing cologne."

I'm sure that many men would be offended at that statement. I was, though I couldn't think of anything intelligent to say in response to it, except, "SCREW YOU, YOU DOPEY TWAT!"

I wouldn't dream of actually writing that, though. ^_~*


Tasha June 8, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Worst. Story. Ever.


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