Mr. Wideload

May 31, 2010

in Portly Stories

I was flying from Albuquerque to Phoenix on Southwest. Now, Southwest Air has the “persons of size” policy in that if you can’t fit with the arm rest down, you need to buy another ticket, but they only charge you for that other ticket if the flight is full. I was in the B boarding group and I saw the beginnings of the C boarding group come up to stand. This guy was 400 lbs and I knew he only bought 1 ticket. So I get onto the plane and I grab the LAST window seat. Within seconds, the last aisle seat is taken. The FA’s say on the loudspeaker, “nothing but middle seats, this flight is full, so please pick the first seat you see.”

So Mr. Wideload comes on the plane and I see him, and I smell him. He’s got sweat stains on every roll. I waved down some random person in front of him to take the middle seat so I could block in my row. Mr. Random took that seat and he looked at me and then looked at Mr. Wideload and said, “Good quick thinking.” So Mr. Wideload stands in the aisle, looking for a good spot to sit down and there’s just 1 seat 2 rows in front of me and they’re not looking too happy. So the FA comes up to the section and is asking for a volunteer to give up their armrests and personal space so Mr. Wideload can sit.

Surprisingly, no one raises their hand to say, “yes, please cram me in.” Then the FA comes up and says to me, “Sir, would you be able to give up your seat so we can accomodate this Gentlemen?” I lied and said that I needed the window seat because I get air sick. After a few minutes, they finally forced a guy 4 rows up to give up his aisle seat and move to the middle to Mr. Wideload could take the aisle seat, and that arm rest moved up.

Then to top it all off, Mr. Wideload started coughing during the flight, these long wet, hacking coughs.

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Clare May 31, 2010 at 5:21 pm

I'm at a loss to understand why the flight attendants would be allowed to order someone out of their seat so this morbidly obese person could sit down. The person already in the seat paid for it and shouldn't be forced to move to accommodate Mr Wideload.


Dina May 31, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Sounds to me like this was back when Southwest didn't have assigned seating. It's not like they booted them from the plane…


Anon June 1, 2010 at 3:11 am

OK…. Since when did Southwest suddenly start assigned seating????

They should have bumped him to the next flight since he didn't have a second ticket. I'm not an overly petite person myself… but I can read the rules. Those rules should apply equally to all involved. Remember the recent incident with the famous person who was booted from Southwest???? Why was he asked to leave the plane – but this person was not?


Dina June 1, 2010 at 5:42 pm

I was under the impression that that went out the window after 9/11? Although I could be wrong, I haven't flown with them since before then.


Joy June 2, 2010 at 8:34 am

Yeah, you're wrong. Southwest still doesn't have assigned seating.


Dina June 2, 2010 at 2:23 pm

Ahh, mea culpa. 🙂

Laura May 31, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Seriously. Way to not stick to company policy and make passengers mad.


The Logger June 1, 2010 at 12:32 am

A perfect candidate for Fat Bastard Airlines.


David June 1, 2010 at 7:42 am

That large famous man was movie producer Kevin smith who is a devils fan

is it a flight from hell if nothing happened to you? Besides it's not like they were kicked off they were just moved

how would you know if he paid for two seats or not? They buy two seats but they only get one


The Logger June 7, 2010 at 2:37 am

I like sitting next to fatties and stinkers on planes.. it gives me a sense of warmth… my wife is fat and she stinks… if you want pics email me


The Logger June 18, 2010 at 1:58 am

American Airlines has announced a new piece of equipment to be carried on all flights.

Morbidly obese people will now have the Jaws of Life available to them for seat extrication at the end of each flight.

Charge will be $1.00 per lb.

Discount for over 400lbs.-10%


enta June 18, 2010 at 10:43 am

Re: The Logger. The way you wright all your comments does look like you don't have a wife and just an old man who has nothing better to do as write dumb comments.


xxx April 19, 2013 at 10:13 pm

the way you WRITE your comments does look like you do not have a middle school education.

i've never enjoyed grammar nazis but come "wright" is not even a real word


Ali October 2, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Weirdly enough, I always choose middle seats on Southwest. I pick two people with books and am fine. I am small enough that I once sat next to a woman who took up part of my seat and was still fine, all three of us read the whole way there. Middle seats all the way!


Waldi October 3, 2010 at 10:56 am

Logger, to much time on your hands because you don't have enough money to get your chainsaw repaired? Is that why you you write dumb wisecracks?


Edward April 20, 2013 at 5:51 pm

You think it's OK to call someone Mr. Wideload? Wow, is all I can say. You're a disgusting and stupid jerk. I know this is an old story but I really had to give my opinion on how very offensive I think that is.


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