Hag Accuses Passenger of Playing with Himself

April 28, 2017

in Passenger Stories

My wife showed me this site and we both enjoyed it. I thought I’d submit a flight from hell story that happened when I was a teenager. So without further ado I present to you a story about a Moral High Ground Passenger.

First a little background. My father works for the military, so therefore as a family we fly a lot. More so after my parent’s divorce; my stepmom, like my dad, enjoys going on vacation in different places. Now, I look like my dad while my stepsister looks like her mom. We look nothing alike and I frequently refer to her as my sister, not stepsister, because she’s too young to understand. This was one of the vacation/family trips I was on.

Both my dad and stepmom got upgraded to first class while my stepsister and I were in coach. She was in her “I want to be with my cool big siblings” mode and I was charged with watching her. She, like me, has flown frequently and is a good flier. Once we were in the air, she pulled out her books and coloring stuff and was happily doing whatever kids do. After making sure she was happy, I gave her strict instructions to wake me up if she needed to use the bathroom, and I then put the blanket over my head and fell asleep.

Next thing I know, a FA was tapping me on the shoulder and telling me that I needed to change seats. Still groggy, I politely said I couldn’t, and tried falling back to sleep. She was insistent. “Sir, we need you to switch seats.”

I think her stern tone was what penetrated my sleep addled brain, and again I politely but firmly said, “No, this is my assigned seat” while trying to figure out what happened.

Unmoved, the FA said as politely as she could, in a tone that brooks no argument, “Sir, we need you to switch seats because another passenger said you were masturbating beside a child and we are obligated to protect her,” gesturing to my sister. WTF?? I was so shocked my mouth fell open and looked around to see who the busybody was. I found her! She was sitting across the aisle from me wearing a disgusted look aimed right at me.

By now, my sister sensed that something was wrong and looked scared. “Do I need to get mom and dad?” she asked.

“No sweetie, you just go right back to playing. This gentleman is going to switch seats with the lady here,” said the FA while gesturing towards that hag.

“This is my sister! I was not doing whatever sick thing you think I was doing! I was sleeping and if you don’t believe me our parents are up front in first class and you can check with them!” I was really angry and humiliated at the insinuation that I was a pedophile. It hit me badly because during my parent’s divorce my mother falsely accused my father of it to gain custody and child support.

The FA looked taken aback at what I said and checked with my sister, “Is he your brother?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“Oh, okay, sorry sir.” The FA left. I glared at the nasty hag and turned my back on her the remainder of the flight. Luckily sis quickly went back to her books and nothing else happened. I thought it was over; how wrong I was.

We landed and disembarked into the terminal, my sister holding my hand so she wouldn’t be lost. My parents weren’t at the gate. Guessing that they might be using the facilities, I led my sister to a nearby newsstand to get some sweets. While I was paying I felt her tugging me and she said she saw our parents, and then took off to her mom.

I quickly got my stuff and her bag and walked over to them. As I reached them I heard a voice remarking, “SO, YOU ARE HER BROTHER!” I whipped my head around and sure enough, the hag that reported me to the FA is standing there with security. Apparently not happy that the FA didn’t do anything, she decided to follow my sister and me when we walked into the terminal, and told security that I was a pedophile. Security was about to detain me when our parents showed up.

Seeing security behind me, thankfully my dad intervened. By then I was furious and utterly humiliated. After apologies from security about the misunderstanding and an insincere, “Sorry, I just got to be sure you know” from the old hag, we left.

Dear Old Hag, I remember your face and if I ever see you again, I’ll be sure to return the favor.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Joan May 6, 2017 at 7:55 pm

Don't you just love/hate people that do no mind their own business


Rjj May 17, 2017 at 6:15 am

It was unfortunate, however, I don't think it's right to villafy the lady, she obviously thought something was wrong and how was she supposed to know you were her brother, you don't look alike you said so yourself. I'd rather someone spoke up to try and protect a child rather than minded their own business and meanwhile something is wrong.


Hunter November 17, 2017 at 2:59 pm

While I agree with your sentiment, exactly how many people masturbate while they are asleep? OP is a much nicer person than I am: I would have very loudly announced to the entire terminal how DISGUSTED I was that THAT LADY over there thought I was being SEXUALLY INAPPROPRIATE with my minor SISTER, and what kind of SICK PERVERT assumes something like that? Guess we know what her FILTHY MIND seems to be FIXATED ON.

You get bonus points if she has a stroke from the embarrassment.


NPFSOH November 17, 2017 at 7:15 pm

I might have informed the airline the woman was harassing me through and after the flight with strange and obsessive accusations of strange behavior.


Bridget March 11, 2018 at 8:05 pm

I wonder if this old bat would have accused a teen girl of playing with herself, but I don't think so! I think she thought the worst of this writer because he was a male traveling with a young female child! Some males do molest young girls but not every teen boy is a pervert.


Leave a Comment
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous post:

Next post: