The Case Of The Creepy Seatmate

January 10, 2010

in Passenger Stories

[Mature content]

Not too long ago I was traveling home off-duty from my job as a flight attendant from Atlanta, Georgia to Cleveland, Ohio after visiting with my fiance. This was the last flight of the night and being that I was exhausted after a busy trip; I was just looking to relax and sleep on my flight home.

I was one of the first people to board the regional jet I would fly home, and I was just hoping that because I knew the flight was not full, I would be able to sit alone and relax on the way home. Lo and behold however, as I was heading down the aisle to my window seat ‘D6,’ a feeling of dread set over me as I noticed the extremely large, burly, unkempt looking gentleman sitting in seat ‘E6.’ I regrettingly smiled and pointed to my seat, prompting him to allow me to sit down after I stowed my luggage, and I slumped into my seat and turned on my iPod and stared out the window, not really wanting to make conversation with the frightening man next to me. Of course, however, he found a way to strike up a conversation – as for some reason my flight attendant uniform just screams “PLEASE TALK TO ME… I WANT TO KNOW YOUR LIFE STORY AND WANT TO ANSWER YOUR 101 QUESTIONS ABOUT FLYING.” It’s not that I’m friendly, but just like anyone else, sometimes I just want to sleep on the plane if I’m off duty!

The man starts telling me a story about how he is returning to Cleveland after visiting his (no joke) mail-order-bride in Russia. After telling me a 20 minute story about how he found her on a website, I think he finally gets the hint that I’m not particularly interested in the story. At that point, he is fumbling around with his Blackberry phone and I can see out of the corner of my eye that he is scrolling through about 100 emails from adult and porn websites. Hooray. The sleeze-factor has just escalated to epic levels and at this point, I’d love nothing more than this flight to be over. Little did I know I was about to be even more grossed out.

The man starts talking to me, AGAIN, and then proceeds to take out his digital camera and asks me if I want to see pictures of his trip and his Russian mail order bride. Begrudgingly, I agree to look on as he scrolls through the photos, explaining each one in detail, that is until he gets to the picture of his…. ahem…. “manhood.” At this point, it’s safe to say I threw up in my mouth a little. I put my headphones back in my ears, turned to look out the window, and wished I had a parachute.

Thankfully, after we were in the air, the man moved to another row that had no one sitting in it to be alone in his big, fat, smelly, disgusting, porn-loving, digital-photography glory. THANK GOD.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Demotage January 10, 2010 at 1:36 pm



Marta January 10, 2010 at 2:41 pm

Double Ewwww


Maureen January 10, 2010 at 6:26 pm

you can always say no thanks, in a reasonable tone of voice to offer to look at pictures


AmyLynn January 11, 2010 at 5:27 am

I agree with Maureen–you could always say no thanks to looking at his photos. You could have said you were tired.

Plus, if you don't want to talk about being an FA, or have people even KNOW you're an FA, then CHANGE OUT OF YOUR UNIFORM into different clothes.


A&P Mechanic January 11, 2010 at 10:39 am

Please, someone tell me how D^ is a window seat and E6 is an aisle seat? OP maybe got her seating wrong, but no airplane I'm familiar with is configured like that.

And FAs of all people know that headphones aren't allowed during taxi and take off.

Nice story otherwise.


Demotage January 12, 2010 at 8:35 pm

I actuaaly don't think it's anyone's place to he nice when someone manuvers you into viewing a picture of their Johnson. The appropriate response is one of three choices:

1) yell so that everyone can hear: "that's disgusting that you would show me a picture of your dick. And such a small one too!"

2) call the FA and complain.


tell the guy he is a disgusting pervert and then 1) followed by 2).

There are limits to what you have to put up with.


Teddy February 8, 2010 at 7:30 am

oh God…i'd prefer 3 hours of turbulence instead


Shamu September 1, 2011 at 5:11 am

Vomit that is awful poor you


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