Of Tank Tops And Samoans…

August 15, 2009

in Portly Stories

No one ever wants to fly in the throws of an illness, but I found myself in this predicament on a flight from San Diego to Las Vegas 6 years ago. I had been struck by vertigo, congestion, and a stomach bug…all before we took off. I sat patiently in my seat until we were nearly fully boarded, clasping onto my aisle seat and thanking the Lord that the middle seat would apparently go unused.

As time crept closer to take off, I continued to count my lucky stars but noticed that we had eclipsed the time for take off and an announcement was made that we were waiting on another plane and its passengers before we could take off. After 15 minutes of waiting, my luck ran out.

I looked up from my daze to notice, and I kid you not, a family of large “Islanders” boarding the plane…with each successive one larger than the next. The final man-child who boarded, who I refer to now as Samoan Baby Huey, was my seat “buddy” for the short flight.

With all respect to the larger individuals in the world, normally I would have no problems relinquishing some of my real estate to accommodate someone in need, but there was no give and take here, only give. This person’s love handle flowed over the arm rest into my chair like the floods of the Nile, literally pushing my entire body into the aisle way. To top it off, my large friend found it appropriate to wear a tank top on his journey, and I was the lucky recipient of a sweaty, wet hammock rubbing against me in ways I don’t like to remember.

I won’t bore you with the rest of the details: head into drink cart, excessive nausea, or body odor, but will conclude by simply stating that this was the best flight of my life….thank you AA!!!!

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

david August 15, 2009 at 7:56 pm

i dont think you are complaining about the airline…but if you are than thats crazy since they would have no idea how large a person is and how much space they take up

theres a few airlines that now charge for large passangers for 2 seats but if the flight is full than no point


SAW August 16, 2009 at 10:55 am

Always assume the middle seat will be taken. Be grateful and excited when it's not and view that as some crazy-wonderful thing that's happened.

The more you think to yourself "looks like I'm gonna be lucky", the more likely you are NOT to be

I always assume it will be taken and that I'll be miserable and uncomfortable until I see that jetway door close!


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