Flights From Hell flies you into the crazy skies with stories about the adventures and anxieties of airplane travel.

Commercial airline travel takes us far, far out of our comfort zone. We're herded into cylinders that zip hundreds of miles per hour at 30,000 feet, subjected to security screenings, confronted with delays and lost luggage, rushed to catch connecting flights, constrained to small seats, scrunched up with strangers, and surrounded by pathogens. Is it any wonder we end up becoming a bundle of raw nerves by journey's end?

The Thoroughly Be-Pooped Diaper

June 4, 2009 Odor Stories

Flying from Milan to Atlanta on a Delta flight, I was lucky enough to snag a bulkhead seat, right in front of the entry/exit door on a 767 widebody. Across the aisle from me sat a young couple with their infant child in a bulkhead-mounted bassinet. The child was about a month old if I […]

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Heavy Handed

June 3, 2009 Senior Stories

My husband and I were on an eight hour flight from London to Atlanta. An elderly couple was seated behind us. About 30 minutes into the flight, they began to experiment with the in-seat screens on the back of our seats. They both began playing games, but being inexperienced with touch screens, they didn’t understand […]

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Broke Back Flight From Hell

June 3, 2009 Senior Stories

Just imagine, a 10 hour flight from London to Los Angeles and the guy sitting behind you is 100+ years old and grumpy. He hit the back of my chair the ENTIRE time! But, he got his when we arrived in LA. Customs pulled him aside and he was still arguing with them as I […]

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Three Short “Stuck In The Middle” Stories

May 29, 2009 Couples Stories

(#1) I flew from Phoenix to Minneapolis in coach seat B row 18. If that wasn’t bad enough, seat A and C were occupied by a husband and wife who talked non-stop. To make matters worse neither could have the arm rest down and needed seatbelt expanders, because they each weighed 350 plus. The plane […]

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Counting Change

May 27, 2009 Portly Stories

Most of you probably know that US Air charges $7 for meals. When they first started doing this last year, fatty behind me tried paying his $7 IN CHANGE! Fatty had almost enough quarters in his pocket to cover it. I couldn’t believe he was making the stewardess count all that change. They have such […]

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A Happy Ending

May 27, 2009 Portly Stories

Actually my story has a happy ending! I was on a flight from Chicago to Phoenix. My ticket said row 23, seat A. I found my seat – an aisle one- and in the other two seats were two seriously overweight lards. They both smiled at me (I think they were looking forward to eating […]

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Captain Chunk & The Kicker

May 27, 2009 Portly Stories

My girlfriend and I were recently on vacation in the Middle East. We had finally reached the end of our rigorous travel. Our first flight was from Aswan to Cairo at 11 pm, which was no big deal. We got our bags and had to push them in carts to the international terminal; mind you […]

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Huge & Rude

May 27, 2009 Portly Stories

I was about to board a flight from Atlanta to San Francisco, when a obscenely FAT (is there something beyond morbidly obese?) woman rudely cuts in front of me, mumbling about her being “disabled.” As a polite Southern guy, I just let it go, figuring it would be easier for everyone if she got on […]

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Forced To Sit In The Middle

May 26, 2009 Passenger Stories

I have flown many times. In several instances the flight has been full. One of my pet peeves is when two people are traveling together yet they take up three seats. They insist on the row and the window. Then they force you to sit between them. Isn’t it fun when during the entire flight […]

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A Fondling Fellow

May 26, 2009 Passenger Stories

I was on a flight from Denver to London, Heathrow, on my way to Antwerp for my grandfather’s funeral this past October. We had just taken off and I was pretty excited about the open seat next to me, thinking I’d have some extra space to stretch out. However, a young British fellow soon took […]

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Crash Jokes

May 26, 2009 Passenger Stories

Many years ago I was flying home from a small state with a teeny airport and the plane my company booked me on was a 20 seat puddle jumper. When I boarded, the pilot and the passenger in the 1st seat were having a friendly conversation and laughing and I soon realized they were telling […]

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The Creepy Passenger

May 26, 2009 Passenger Stories

I was flying from the east coast to the west coast (I can’t give specifics because I had received the ticket from a relative who works for the airline) and was lucky enough to secure a first class seat. It was an older plane but the seats were pretty spacious and there was a large […]

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