Boorish Behemoth

April 17, 2013

in Portly Stories

I had one trip that sticks out in my memory. My wife had departed several days early to MCO and our 4 year old daughter and I were following to join her. We had the window and middle seat. I had tried to get first class but was told it was sold out.

Departure time came and went and my daughter decided to have the middle seat so she could lay her head on my lap and take a nap. The aisle seat was empty and we hoped it would stay that way. The doors closed but then reopened and what came down the aisle defied description. The largest man on earth came in, easily 400+ lbs, huffing and puffing like an asthmatic steam locomotive, face beat red, dragging his oversized bag plus his shopping bag full of what smelled like greasy food.

The man stopped by our row, opened the overhead bin, removed my and my daughter’s bags, stuffed his own in their place, and said ours would have to go under our seats. Then with a practiced flip of his hand up went the arm rest and he crashed into the seat, body flab flowing freely in all directions; his left elbow then smacked the top of my daughter’s head. She gave an indignant howl and I jumped up and demanded to know what was his problem and an apology, and that he restow our bags into the overhead bin as what right did he have to decide what to do with our luggage. He barely glanced in my direction and told me to get over it.

I pulled the attendant call, but by this time he decided it was lunch time so he struggled mightily to his feet on the ragged edges of a stroke or heart attack and retrieved his greasy bag. During that time I swapped seats with my daughter and slammed the arm rest down and sat down in the middle seat. As he tried to crash back down, the arm rest deflected one mighty butt cheek and his precarious grip on a greasy hamburger was lost and it hit the floor with a wet splat. He spluttered with indignation and demanded that the arm rest be up. I stated sure, but to pay me $425 for my seat that he obviously wanted to use. He told me to go “F” myself and reached down for the armrest. By this time the FAs arrived and immediately knew what happened. They took in my daughter’s teary face with her hands holding the top of her head, the rage on my face, and the huge slob demanding that my arm rest be up and that he be compensated for his appetizer. They looked at me and said, “Sir, two seats opened up in first class. Follow me.”

Fatso stated that he would take those seats, whereupon the FA gave a sweet smile and smoothly lied, “No, sir, this gentleman (stressed) and his daughter are on standby for first class in the event that seats open up and they just did.” He stood there with the remains of his burger in one hand, his large pizza in another, and his mouth hanging open. At that point my daughter turned around and stuck her tongue out at him. Several people who had witnessed the event laughed and then glared at the behemoth who had created all the drama.

Later, while changing planes, I observed the behemoth at another gate arguing with the gate agent who had told him that he had to purchase another seat or he would not be boarded on his connecting flight. Obviously the flight crew had given advance notice of his connection with the events that he created on our flight. Kudos to United.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

chuck April 17, 2013 at 9:47 pm

What a nightmare. I don't think you could have hit him hard enough to have done any damage with all that flab.


Jodi April 18, 2013 at 11:51 am

I hate these stories. I'm a curvy girl (not obese) and I'm well aware that my curves are bigger than the 100 lb girl next to me, so you know full well that someone who is OBESE knows they are OBESE and knows they will take up more room. Personally I would be embarrassed to cause a scene and draw even more attention to the fact that my big hiney couldn't fit into one seat. But apparently that's just me, because I see these stories all of the time. I am glad the FAs rectified the situation for you. I hope this never happens to you again. Your poor daughter 🙁


Stories From The Air April 21, 2013 at 2:11 am

I had flown with many fat people and though it was unfortunate that they took up others' spaces, they were normally very nice.


Adam April 22, 2013 at 11:08 am

Stories like this always make my blood boil. Airlines sell one seat per ticket and bin space on a first come – first served basis. When bullies take more than they are entitled to the vendor has an obligation to step in and make things right.


Krista May 24, 2013 at 9:03 pm

I have had FA’s that didn’t allow the arm rests to be down during take off and landing. I am glad you were moved to first class, even though you were told earlier they weren’t available.


Lucy May 27, 2013 at 7:12 pm

I am still stunned by the rudness of people of all — yes all sizes… but mostly those that think –key word THINK- they deserve more than they paid for. Thankfully I've figured out how to get the proper person in the middle row… and no — will not divulve my secrets– it is
easy and you should be able to figure it out for yourself… will give you a hint… Achoo.. lol .it works every time… Happy Flying to all.


boydboy April 26, 2014 at 8:56 am

This sounds like a total bullshit story. Every part of it sounds completely fake but especially the part about 2 FC seats opening up after the plane was fully boarded. I fly 2-4 times per month and that is complete BS. Any standby upgrades are done by that point.


Holly July 8, 2014 at 9:22 am

OP, you should truly be ashamed of yourself for continually referring to this person in such a negative fashion. You have no right to judge a person solely on his/her size. You don't know how this man got to be the size he is; he may be on some heavy-duty meds (there are meds that can cause people to gain a substantial amount of weight); he may have a thyroid or hypothalamus condition. He is aware of his condition, and he doesn't need idiots like you constantly putting him down.
I will say that his actions during boarding were less than polite, but how did you act when you saw him boarding? Did you shake your head in disgust? Did you give him a dirty look? Did you say something negative about him and his size? If you had done any and/or all of those to me when boarding, I would have been less than polite to you as well.
Get over yourself, "your honor," and realize that one day you may be in that same situation. You would not want to be treated like you were a waste of space.


saffie August 8, 2014 at 10:11 am

What? Are you kidding me? Are you actually kidding me? You're defending the lout? Pu-lease. I'm a hefty girl, not big enough to spill into another person's seat but I'm sure I'd cause a couple of eye rolls by people who saw me coming. But I'm siding completely on the Dad's side here. There is NO defense for a jerk like this. This guy wasn't judged merely on the size of his belly; he was judged on how he used it. And he used it to be a bully TO A CHILD! You have to be pretty sad to take this as some sort of hate crime. I bet you troll sites like this looking for things to get butt hurt over. Long story short, BULLIES WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! And that's exactly what Burger Boy was…a bully! If it had been me and that had been my daughter, well then one fat girl would have been climbing all over one fat BOY'S head! This dad showed tremendous control in that situation.


Holly January 14, 2016 at 3:52 pm

I probably should not waste my time replying to you; however, I am replying. You see, neither of us have any idea how the OP acted when he saw the passenger approaching. The writer could have made negative comments about this man's weight, and treated him like trash. If someone were to make nasty, hurtful, hateful comments about my size, I would be less than polite to said person. What you need to understand is that the OP is attempting to appear angelic and saintly. From his nasty comments about overweight people, I am inclined to believe that he instigated his fellow passenger's negative behavior.
I will say to you what I said to the OP: One day you may be in the same situation. I can only hope that you are looked upon as a human being.


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