Although this happened a few years ago it has reinforced my need for an aisle or window seat. I had flown down to Cancun with my mom, aunt and cousin. We had a great time except for my aunt taking in more that her fair share of tequila. As we departed our lovely villa by the ocean we learned that the weather in Miami (flying through to Chicago) was less than favorable and that we may be delayed. After spending about 4 hours at the Cancun airport our flight was cancelled and we were told that we would be put up in a nice hotel for the night and put on another flight in the morning.
There was nothing wrong with the hotel except that when we arrived it was raining and we had to carry our bags outside to the furthest room and I was put in a honeymoon suite (complete with bedside Jacuzzi) with my mom. HA HA. The next morning we were re-gathered to be put on flights to get us home. Hopefully.
We saw a glimmer of hope as our 8AM flight for Miami left at 8AM. But we live in Chicago so we got ready to deal with the hassle of another flight. After arriving in Miami we asked about a flight to Chicago and were told that all flights that day were full. This was after my aunt and cousin were put on a flight to Atlanta (their hometown). We were seemingly put on stand-by but then all airline personnel disappeared. We decided to get lunch and at this point I was a little cranky and ready to get home.
Now admittedly I do have an anger problem and I am handling it using a variety of behavioral techniques as well as medication on occasion. Since my mom could tell I was getting a little peeved she suggested that I take a “happy pill.” I took her suggestion and headed back to the gate where the next flight was to leave from. Upon arriving I found some rather muscular workers loading bags onto a plane outside. So I pulled up a chair and enjoyed the view until they left.
A worker came in through a door that led to the gate I was sitting at. Because he did not close the door all the way a loud pulsing siren began going off. Those types of noises annoy me like no other so I sought out one of the airline employees to close the door. Since I was already in a foul mood and did not want to get into any trouble, I thought it best to find an employee to close the door. Once I found someone he told me that he was not authorized to close the door and that he would page someone to come and do it. I asked if I could I close it and he again stated he would page someone. Well someone took 40 minutes to show up. I left after the first five to go take a walk.
Once I returned another flight to Chicago began boarding and because we didn’t make it mom and I went to dinner. After dinner we learned that there was a very late flight to Chicago that we would definitely be on because we were the last 2 stand-bys and there were 2 seats on the plane. We were told the seats were middle seats but at that point I did not care because I wanted to get home. Boarding did not begin until after 1AM and I found myself seated between a black lady and a white man. (Their race is important later.)
I decided against taking another pill as I planned to go to a very important meeting that next morning at 10AM and go home afterwards. As the door closed I could feel my body begin to slip into a sleep-deprived coma. This is when I learned that the people I was sitting between where in fact a married couple returning from their 10th wedding anniversary trip. They begin talking over me but my drug-induced coma was keeping me quite oblivious -until the wife reached over me to whack her husband. I breathed deeply, opened my eyes, turned to the wife and said “Would either of you like to switch seats so that you can sit together?” She scoffed and he said no. I re-closed my eyes going back to dreamland and they continued to argue. Since my “happy pill” wore off I awoke to their arguing about the husband’s mother babysitting because apparently she did not know what to do with their daughter’s hair. The wife noticed that I had opened my eyes and said, “What do you think?” I responded with, “I don’t intervene in other people’s marriages.” She then began berating me saying that I should understand because I was also black and should agree with her.
At this point I rolled my eyes and attempted to go back to sleep. She continued to yell at her husband about her mother-in-law, the fact that he didn’t fly them first class, the amount of money spent on the trip, and because he apparently got caught staring at my boobs while I was sleeping among other things. I looked at the husband and said, “Wanna know my real opinion… divorce her!” At that moment I could feel the rage beside me. She began ranting and raving about my flirting with her husband and how much a B**** I was.
Running on very little sleep and a very short fuse I turned to her and said “If you don’t shut the F*** up right now you will be flying on the wing of this plane.” Being dramatic I took out my pill bottle and pretended to take a handful. Yes dramatic I know, but this woman was working my very last nerve that is put on reserve for babies and fools. She shut up and her husband chuckled. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.
I did not hear a word from either of them for the rest of the flight. My mom did ask me why a woman was staring wide-eyed at me as we picked up our bags. I just laughed and shook my pill bottle.
– Dani
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
haha "happy pill", more like "slightly less psycho pill"
You should've given that wife a pill, too!