Baby Parade Gone Awry

April 24, 2009

in Baby & Kid Stories

A long time ago (before 9/11), I had taken a flight from Boston To Hawaii, with the change at LAX. Now, the first leg was fine, but from LAX to Hawaii, the plane had to be more than 25% young babies, and minutes after the ‘fasten seat belt’ sign went off the parents decided to parade the babies up and down the aisle. I was 1 seat away from the back of the plane. All the babies were coming my way. I didn’t want to hear babies that were gonna whine and smell the whole flight. Finally, I burst out real loud “WOULDN’T IT BE BAD IF ONE OF THE BABIES PULLED TOO HARD ON THE EMERGENCY DOOR NEXT TO ME!”

The parade stopped, and got re-routed 5 rows in front of me. I went to sleep and woke up in Hawaii. :>

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Demotage April 26, 2009 at 3:51 pm

…..and when you woke up, poof! Just like magic, you were still an ass.


Jodi April 27, 2009 at 5:49 am

I hope you realize that the parents were keeping the children away from you because you are clearly mentally disturbed.


MJ April 27, 2009 at 12:55 pm

Bwahahaha. You're clearly a passive aggressive douche. Besides, realistically, young children don't have the strength (or even the body weight) to open any of the doors on a plane.


Jess April 27, 2009 at 3:01 pm

The "baby parade" is what keeps the kiddos from making noise. You weren't complaining about ill-mannered children, just about the existence of babies. You should never be allowed out in public.


Anonymous April 29, 2009 at 7:57 am

Whats funny about this is that you think you were clever.


Amanda April 29, 2009 at 10:03 am

I've flown on many different types of aircraft… what type of plane has the emergency exit row at the second to last row?


Onslow May 1, 2009 at 11:32 am

I can't say I would have been thrilled with the parade either, but as long as the kids weren't causing a rukus, you really have no reason to complain.


Anonymous May 1, 2009 at 4:35 pm

That was pitiful. You are a failure. Be glad the kids were being parented more than kids these days.


LOL May 6, 2009 at 12:08 pm


What a loser. You were "that guy" to everyone on the plane.


mercutioman May 6, 2009 at 11:31 pm

OMG! This has to be one of the lamest posts around (not surpassing lawrence bentley of course). I particularly love Demotage's comment, I had to laugh out loud when I read that.


Kara June 8, 2009 at 3:38 pm

I also laughed out loud at Demotage's remark.

Get over yourself. Babies have to fly sometimes, too. Maybe when you are old, incontinent, hard of hearing, and smell terrible because age has caused you to lose your sense of smell, you will get to fly on a plane and everyone will talk about YOU!


Elisa July 9, 2009 at 3:58 am

LOL! I thought this post was great. A very creative way of saying, "please stop subjecting the *entire* flight to your crying kids."

I have kids of my own, I have flown with a baby, and I do understand it's difficult to entertain them. However, you can't just pace a plane aisle non stop. There's this thing called turbulence, it can hit without warning even when the seatbelt sign is out, and it can KILL or PARALYSE people permanently. People can and do get seriously injured by it.

You're supposed to stay in your seat unless you HAVE to get up. Pay attention. The flight attendants weren't doing that safety demonstration for fun.

If you are flying with young children who are too young to understand and be entertained, medicate them. I am not joking. You might say it's terrible to "drug" a kid for your own convenience but guess what? That baby is being TRAUMATISED by the flight. Which is worse: a dose of a safe medicine, or screaming in pain and terror? Get some perspective. If you're so against drugging your children then I sincerely hope there is no baby tylenol in your house either.


the dominator July 23, 2009 at 8:42 am

babies and little kids suck major ass!!!!!

for all you holier than thou parents who love their little turd factory kids: neither you nor your stupid little bastard kids are special.

if you have a problem with that- tough shit. i will fix the problem of the annoying child by giving it something to cry about. a good choking works every time!


Ilovefyling December 26, 2015 at 8:30 pm

Sounds like it was annoyed that many babies were in a plane! sounds like you were being the ass!


Traveler1 December 31, 2015 at 8:38 pm

Yes, the babies were being "paraded" down the aisle…or it could be that the parents were merely taking a walk because it's hard enough being stuck in one place for so long for a fully grown adult (which you unfortunately don't sound like) let alone a child. Someone ought to burst the bubble you're living in so that you may be exposed to REALITY.


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