Yapping Airhead’s Audible Assaults

August 21, 2008

in Passenger Stories

my weekly travels from Dallas to LA have been somewhat uneventful for the most part until american started getting cheap… between the chaos of american and the summer travels, the last couple of months have been horrible as far as seating or the ability to change it…

…so I board and sit with my NOISE CANCELLING headphones on… I hear this really piercing obnoxious voice coming from above… I look up as a natural reaction to the stupidity and loudness of what is being said and I see this younger girl of about 18 or 19 yapping about various mindless things without taking a breath… she was telling her travel mate (whom the whole plane will learn minutes later that he is homosexual) about her travels to south america or mexico or somewhere… I didn’t think much of it, it is natural for people to try and solicit attention… both travelers ended up sitting two rows behind me and to my surprise this girl never stopped talking for a second not even to take a breath… from statements like “like o my gawd…” to the f bombs she continuously dropped, she covered the whole spectrum of obnoxious and stereotypical conversations you associate with air heads and dumb blonds as depicted in hollywood… she tried her best to be loud enough for everyone to hear her, I am assuming she thought she was interesting or cute or something… I felt bad for her because she had to do this to get attention… but this feeling soon dissipated as thoughts of silencing her by force or otherwise filled my head…

the few minutes we were asked to turn the electronic equipments off we were in hell… there was no protection from the torturous sound and mind numbing assaults… her traveling mate, while not less obnoxious, had a less audible sound… although we did hear what he was saying, his voice didn’t pierce your brain… when she stopped to take a breath, he managed few words in. we learned that his mom was ok with him being gay and liked one of his boyfriends and that he has gone to south america… that is all he managed to say, those few words “literally”! the other 3.8 hours (we spent 40 minutes at the gate) were about she devil… the food cart didn’t shut her up and neither one of them took a restroom break to give us a moment of silence… it was hell, my nerves were unraveling, I couldn’t concentrate on reading, I couldn’t sleep, I was getting exhausted. all I could do is fantasize about shoving something in my ears to stop the torture… no one around me said anything… so I thought it was all in my head, I was having this reaction because I concentrated on her, so it is all my fault for being a negative person… and the assault continued…

finally we stood up to de-board and I happen to make eye contact with the passenger across from me and I realized she was telling me something, she was saying “I will never complain about a toddler again”… suddenly voices from all around me got louder, people started making abusive comments at ear shot of the girl while looking at each other not at HER… I was too tired to join at this point but I was awed when I saw the business men join the verbal attacks… this almost never happen… in fact most of the people who were making the comments did not look like the type of people who will behave in this manner… I doubt the girl realized that any of what was being said was about her…

as I walked toward baggage claim “they” were there and I can see she was still talking (I am not sure how can that be humanly possible)… I seriously contemplated picking up my bag later… I figured the hour or so to rent a car, checking into the hotel, coming back and paying for airport parking was well worth it if it means never hearing her voice again…

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

OhPlease! April 2, 2009 at 9:01 am

It would be nice if you would type properly and use appropriate punctuation and capitalization if you are going to be criticizing others.


Elaine April 2, 2009 at 10:23 am

Hmm…if it makes you feel any better, it was just one day of your life. I worked with someone like that for a few year. Oh, and she was always heavily dosed in perfume too.


Chris April 2, 2009 at 11:43 am

I think I was on this flight


fuzzbeans April 2, 2009 at 11:52 am

Noise Canceling headphones can actually make this problem worse as they block out the white noise which can mask (to some degree) the chatty Cathys of the world. Sometimes its better to turn the noise canceling off and turn the music up (at risk to your ears). Alternatively, you can purchase "isolating" headphones (like the in-ear buds).

I had a red-eye from SEA to DFW on Sept. 18, 2001—the first day back. There was a middle-aged man behind me who talked non-stop for the entire 5 hours! No sleep for me.


Rob April 2, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Be thankful this was only the flight, My mother in law is that way and everytime she visits my wife buys extra bottles of aleve to help my migrain after she arrives.


Gene April 2, 2009 at 1:08 pm

I know several of these people (@ work-not by choice) and I always wonder what they do if they have to drive alone in a car for a while or maybe hours?


jag April 2, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Hey OPlease, SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSO!!!!, How's that for proper use of capitalization and punctuation. your such an pompous asso.


debi April 2, 2009 at 3:33 pm

I don't see why people can't entertain themselves with conversation while they are in flight. It's unfortunate that she had an annoying voice and did not know how to control her volume. I have learned to dial down my voice with maturity but I think in my young adulthood I had an annoying voice. Now, I keep my voice smooth and low when I speak and a lot of people say I have a nice voice. But I do enjoy talking with people while I fly. It's an opportunity for me to learn a different perspective in life by meeting a person that I normally wouldn't have. I can tell when a seat mate doesn't want to talk and then I read and leave the person alone. I also enjoy listening to other people's conversations in the row behind or in front of me and prefer to listen than reading. I don't think people should be picked on for being a conversationalist in general. But I do think people should be aware of the decibal range of their voice, not only on an airplane but all the time. In business, it pays off. A softer voice commands more attention than a shrill voice.


Anonymous April 2, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Sorry about that. I, too, find that kind of conversation so annoying. I don't know why, anytime somebody uses "like, TOTALLY" and that kind of speech it drives me nuts. This is one reason they don't allow guns on board, haha.


kevin April 3, 2009 at 1:10 am

Why didn't you say "can you please keep it down, you're talking really loud"? Maybe if you people had the balls to speak up you wouldn't spend so much time agonizing over it. If the nice way doesn't work try "SHUT THE FUCK UP, OR ILL SHUT YOU THE FUCK UP"


Anonymous April 3, 2009 at 6:07 am

Amen, Kevin! that's exactly what I was going to say, but you beat me to it. The problem with a lot of people today is that they pussyfoot around and don't have the balls to say what's really on their mind. Cut to the chase, and everyone will be better off in the long run.


huh April 3, 2009 at 6:22 am

Letting retards just be themselves is becoming more acceptable – thank you Obama! – but when and wherever blattermouths go on about global warming, and the CIA atop the grassy knoll shooting JFK at the FBIs behest, I will usually interject with foul-mouthed invective


Kay April 3, 2009 at 6:27 pm

If someone is talking too loudly, try asking them nicely to speak more softly. Don't expect them to read your mind. They can't.

But if you just sit there and fume, *you* are part of the problem.


Rob April 3, 2009 at 7:43 pm

Good point Kay, the problem is that most of us are polite and considerate, and consider it offensive in and of itself that someone who is not considerate would put us in the position of having to ask them to stop their imposition.

Sometimes I wonder how many humans are really 'self-aware'.


donnagarnet April 4, 2009 at 8:39 am

I sat across the aisle from a similar "chatty airhead" during a nine plus hour plane flight from Warsaw to Chicago. I had earplugs with me; the people on either side of her weren't so lucky. Right at the beginning of the flight she introduced the woman sitting next to her (her mother) to the young man on the other side (a stranger to her) & never shut up. My earplugs didn't cancel her out entirely, but made the decibels tolerable. At the end of the flight, the young man fled, leaving his seat companion to wonder (aloud) why he didn't ask for her phone number.


Aaron April 4, 2009 at 11:03 am

While teens are often guilty of this type of behavior, they're not the only ones. Don't forget the business folks. In the terminal and in the plane, they loudly discuss their BUSINESS. Everyone needs to know about who they're negotiating with, what their company's r & d is working on, how many contracts they are drafting, etc., etc.

It's pretty amazing and you know it's not just your sensitivity. Look around. You can see many people conversing, but you don't hear them plain as day. Once on the plane, scan a bit. There are many conversations going on, but somehow the one 6 rows back sounds like it's right next to you.

My wife and I talk a lot on flights, but I am sure we don't disturb anyone. Most people are able to do this unless they want the attention.


MJ April 5, 2009 at 5:34 am

So, why exactly was it necessary to mention in your first paragraph that the guy was gay?

And to "huh" – you're an idiot.


fuzzbeans April 21, 2009 at 8:01 am

huh: what's Obama got to do with this? Pathetic.


Anonymous May 18, 2009 at 9:20 am

Uh…what was your comment about the guy being homosexual all about in the first paragraph? I thought there was going to be some side story to explain the importance of that, but there wasn't. You deserved the 5 hours of hell.


Atari June 1, 2009 at 9:32 am

I wish that I wasn't so polite, sometimes.

I mean, how do you tell a person, "Alright, well, I am no longer interested in anything you have to say, and I actually have to leave, now. Bye."

There's no nice way to say it, no way to say it that isn't an obvious, "I don't care about what you're talking about".


Oh, and Anonymous: He deserved five hours of hell because he mentioned that a guy was a homosexual?

The POINT of it was to say that they were both declaring their personal lives to the entire crew, thus demonstrating a level of obliviousness that borders on 'lunatic'.


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