The Refill

November 16, 2010

in Food & Drink Stories

I was young at the time; I won’t give a date (as I finally hit the age where I choose to ignore those details).

I boarded a Delta flight (757) to Dallas in my first EVER First-class upgrade.

It was then that I realized my co-worker Manny was on the flight–a few rows behind me.  This cat was cool.  When Manny switched seats to be next to me it was great; this guy was indeed a character and I hung on every word of his stories.

STU: “Wine, sir?”

Manny: “Yes; Gracias.”

STU: “Wine, sir?”

ME: “Hell, yeah; I mean, ‘Sure.'”

You might ask how I remember details from so long ago?  Well, I am blessed (or cursed) with an oddly amazing long term memory; I can’t remember your name when I meet you but I will a few years later.

Manny and I chin-wagged for quite some time on this flight.

STU: “Wine, sir?”

Manny: “Yes; Gracias.”

Some background: Manny handled international affairs in our office.  He rarely worked in the States despite living in Florida.  Every month or two, we would all see each other and get some Cuban Coffee and Toast and catch up.  Those guys in the international wing introduced me to some great foods, too; hell, they invited me to their parties and I learned just how bad I looked doing those smooth Puerto Rican dances.

STU: “Wine, sir?”

Manny: “Yes, Ma’am, gracias; both of us.”

Flight was really nice, and those COMFORTABLE first class seats made me feel more important than I was or ever will be.

STU: “One more, sir?”

Manny: “Yes; Gracias; both of us.”

At this point, Manny told me the theory that at these pressurized cabin levels it would mess up your ability to control your drinking comfort zone.  “Hmmm, never would have thought of that.  I normally don’t drink wine on planes, Manny.”

STU: “Another, sir?”

Manny: “Yes, Gracias; both.”

Ok, I’ll skip forward.

STU: “A little topper, sir?”

Manny: “Yes, Gracias; don’t forget my friend here.”

So we arrived and I proceeded to the small airplane hub in DFW.

I was starting to feel really funny.  This was different than my recent college BEER drinking slip-ups.  It was more like grapes and Cuban Toast in a blender feeling.

I needed to find a solution FAST.  Find a rest room, right?  Yes.

I see a door, take it.  I shall just drop the briefcase outside the door and entry.  (Wow, that is a stupid idea; what was I thinking there? – for you commenters, this is what they call a rhetorical question.)

Odd, this doesn’t look like a bathroom.  It is an empty series of rooms with NEW CARPET.  Nice smell, wait; oh boy; I have to throw up now.

“Hi, yeah… I was feeling sick and thought this was a rest room.”

THE MAN: “It is not; this is the NEW corporate offices of ASA Airlines.  Not sure how you got in here.”

“I apologize.  Door was opened and I thought…”

THE MAN: “Please leave or I will call the Police.”

Outside the door was my briefcase; ticket still in there.  Phew.  Hey, I feel better now too; phew.

Flight was good that evening.

Peer pressure is a biatch

– Paul

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

paul November 16, 2010 at 5:45 pm

I don't believe it…..your back……and thats not a compliment

ps…change your moniker please………


Huck November 17, 2010 at 4:31 am

You didn't have to give your age……This cat was cool…..chin-wagged ….you kinda gave it away. lol


Jodi November 17, 2010 at 5:25 am

OMG how did you ever survive?!?! You had wine felt a little queasy and ended up in an office. You poor thing. And the worst part is that you felt the need to tell us!! Please stop writing. Just stop.


JB November 17, 2010 at 8:21 am

Hahahahahaha! Love you response Jodi!


JB November 17, 2010 at 8:22 am



paul November 17, 2010 at 11:09 am

Hey, the fuddy-duddy is back. Good stuff, JB!

Jodi, what you don't know is that Delta didn't think whether or not I might be driving when we got to Dallas; I was hammered—oh, wait; that was not their concern back then. Is it today, I might ask? You are right though – it was one darn good flight–never should have written this one as it was not a flight from hell at all! thx for the feedback; keep up the good work!


Doug March 7, 2011 at 2:42 am

what about your drinking responsibly ? wow, that's a new concept.
typical American, always blame your problems on someone else. WAH WAH WAH


Lisa November 17, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Hey, Paul–maybe you could be nice and change your moniker to PAUL instead… that way there'd be a big 'PAUL' and a little 'paul,' then everyone would be happy!


Jennifer November 17, 2010 at 5:53 pm

That's hilarious Lisa!


paul November 17, 2010 at 7:39 pm

My wife keeps calling me "little paul"…not sure why.


jason November 18, 2010 at 2:53 am

Sorry you got the short end of the stick dude. I'm sure that you're big in other ways though.


paul November 18, 2010 at 7:04 am



Karl November 17, 2010 at 10:07 pm

She is your wife, she must have a reason why…..


Peace Lover November 18, 2010 at 6:45 am

I don't mean to be picky but the fairly recent stories seem to be getting a bit, whats the word – warped. Although some like this one are a lot of laughs they do tend to stray from the subject of flights from hell.


Glenn R November 18, 2010 at 9:40 am

I'll take pointless stories for $500, Alex.


rerere November 18, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Is ASA even around anymore? Anyway, this has nothing to do with a flight from hell. Stop making up stories.


TacoDave November 18, 2010 at 12:57 pm

This one time, a long time ago, back when I was younger and the ladies were all over me, I got on an airplane.

Some stuff happened, man, it happened. And I got headphones! And you'll never guess where I ended up in the airport when we landed: at the gate, man!



Lisa November 18, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Yeah, Big PAUL! We want to hear about your actual, REAL, flights from the underworld. Where are THOSE stories?!


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