Psycho Phone Yakker

June 15, 2010

in Passenger Stories

On New Year’s Eve I flew from Miami to Atlanta. My frequent flier program automatically upgrades me to first class when seats are available which was the case for this trip. When the gate attendant announced that boarding would soon begin, people began crowding around the walkway entrance as they usually do. About 10 minutes later she called for Zone 1 (my zone) to begin boarding. I looked around the gateway and saw that no one was moving. There was one woman yakking on her phone and another group of chit-chatters, none of whom were moving toward the gate. I therefore assumed their zone had not been called and preceded to the entry. I politely said excuse me because phone yakker and the chit-chatter were blocking my way (though making no attempt at actually moving toward the ticket collector). The collector scanned my ticket and I was on my merry way… or so I thought. I was about half way down the ramp when I heard a woman’s voice yelling, “Oh hell no! Oh hell no you did not just cut in front of me!” I turned around to see what the commotion was about. It was phone yakker. So I replied, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were ready to board. My mistake.”

Unfortunately a polite apology was not enough to quell her anger over what was apparently a much more egregious offense that I ever could have imagined. She continued to yell. Expletive this. Expletive that. Finally I asked her if she had lost her mind, to which she replied “No, you’ve lost your mind!” I reminded her that I was not the person yelling and chasing someone down a gate ramp. As luck would have it, I then accidentally sat in her seat… which was right next to my assigned seat! This really set her off. To be honest, by this point, I was no longer listening to what she had to say. It was nothing more than a blur of curse words. Fortunately, because we were now on the flight, the flight attendant took notice. She let the psychopath know that the pilot had been walking in front of us as we boarded, and had heard everything. He had told the flight attendant to call security and have psychopath removed from the flight if necessary. Oh, and did I mention that psychopath was still on her phone during all of this?

The attendant then helped me to find another first class seat. Well, for almost the entire duration of the flight I could hear psycho phone yakker telling another passenger about the incident. Though the other passenger did tell her she needed to calm down, she also told her that phone yakker had reacted correctly – that I had made other passengers uncomfortable. Unbelievable. I made a simple mistake. I did my best to apologize for it. What else could I have done? Since when is behaving like a raging lunatic the correct reaction? If such a small mistake could set this woman off like this, I can’t imagine what day to day life must be for her – nonstop crisis mode? Apparently I thought I was flying the friendly skies but instead took off for the loony bin.

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Clare June 15, 2010 at 7:25 pm

It sounds as though you did everything you could do. It's not your fault that this idiotic women couldn't get off her phone long enough to pay attention.

I wonder if the other passenger agreed with her in an attempt to keep this psycho from going off on her too?

On the plus side, the pilot knew what was going on and gave the flight attendant the go-ahead to have security boot the women from the flight if necessary, so you had the flight crew on your side.


Teenage Tourist June 16, 2010 at 2:26 am

Judging by this woman's attitude, I bet she over-exaggerated the story which brought the passenger on her side. I wouldn't be surprised if she takes drugs and couldn't take the pressure from laying them aside for the past few hours. What a bitch!


Jodi June 16, 2010 at 3:23 am

First you did the right thing. You saw no one moving, so you went to get through, even saying excuse me as they weren’t moving. When you found out that they weren’t moving because the one chick was on her cell phone not paying attention, you apologized. So you went above and beyond in my book. I’d of told her to get off her cell and pay attention next time. I find that people who are rude and wrong are often the ones to make the most noise – which is what she did. As far as the person sitting next to her, to me it sounds like they were just trying to get her to shut up. Instead of feeling slighted by them, you should feel sorry that they had to sit next to this beastly woman.


Don June 16, 2010 at 5:30 am

No one was moving and your zone was called. You did what you were supposed to do. If this "lady" was going to make that much of a fuss because you walked past her, down the ramp and to your assigned seat, before she went, her issues are far greater than we'll ever know.

Let's just hope it was her doctor on the other end of the phone.


The Logger June 17, 2010 at 1:16 am

You should have stuck her in the ass with a surreptitious syringe full of Prozac.

A necessary tool in every travelers arsenal.


Broomflyer June 17, 2010 at 4:05 am

Logger, I am beginning to really like you! We agreee on a great deal, including the general stupidity of most of the populace.


Fred G Sanford June 17, 2010 at 2:17 am

Just another chimpout from a sheboon on it's "sail fone". She must have sold enough crack or "foo stams" to afford a first class ticket. It's a shame humans have to put up with the feral beast in public. More TNB.


Max June 18, 2010 at 12:43 am

That's just about the least judgmental thing I've ever heard.


memee June 17, 2010 at 5:38 am

You handled yourself with remarkable restraint and class. And hey KKK skinheads, no one said anything about race except you two morons. At least quote the story accurately. I have seen all sorts of people use those terms, especially the ignorant, uninformed , and uneducated like yourselves.


ps June 17, 2010 at 2:16 pm

You're right about the racist diatribes from the representatives of Darwin's waiting room but odds are, let's face it, it was likely a Kaneesha or Latasha instead of a Muffy or Betty. And to the poster, yes that was truly a flight from hell. Good lord, you can really handle yourself with aplomb.


realist June 17, 2010 at 10:19 pm

Agreed 100% on all counts.


Jim June 18, 2010 at 9:47 am

It sounds like you were very calm, cool and collected…good for you….and, that probably enraged her even more….

If she is not paying attention….too bad, so sad.

And, with assigned seating…what does it really matter if she gets down the jetway before you? Why the heck would she care?


MadCat August 11, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Whitedeer, you sure are a nice representative sample of the southern rednecked hillbilly, ain'tcha?


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